kaisergal Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 [FONT=Consolas][sIZE=3]Hi im just wondering whats your opinion on this? My guyfriend hes been engaged 3 times. He is now with a new girl who he met when he was still engaged to his last girlfriend. A week later he dumped her for this girl - who was also living with her long term partner of 6 years. So basically both come out of dead end relationships to each other. He said he was having problems with his ex and was finding the right time to finish it. Two months into the relationship they got engaged and has booked the wedding for july and are moving into a house. I think hell get her pregnant asap too. Im worried hes moving way too fast.[/sIZE][/FONT]
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 LOL...yeah, IMO, it's too fast. But what can you or anyone do about it? He's going to have to learn the hard way on this one. Sometimes people are seeking that connection so bad that they just keep hopping to a new relationship. I'd be scared to death if I were her, given his track record.
Treasa Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 It's probably too soon, but I met my current boyfriend when I was with my last boyfriend. Things were not going well with my last boyfriend, and we had done nothing but fight for months. I broke it off with him, starting seeing my current boyfriend (who I fell in love with over a matter of a couple of months), and in May we'll have been together for five years.
Author kaisergal Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 im sure your boyfriend hasnt got the reputation for being a serial engager. After a month he was looking at houses after two booked wedding for july dont u think that sounds stupid oh him and the girl were in relationships - she was actually living with her partner of 6 years
Treasa Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Well, the truth is that your friend is an adult, and has the right to do what he wants. He may or may not regret it, and he may or may not do it again. As his friend, I think you only need to be happy for him. You aren't responsible for his actions. Doesn't that make you feel relieved?
Author kaisergal Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 erm not really his family were dreading he would do this again and he has but worse. And to me and everyone else looks like a rebound gone horribly wrong even his aunt is like oh i think hes making a mistake
Treasa Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I guess my point is that he's your friend, so it shouldn't affect you this much. If it does bother you to the point that it's interfering with your life, perhaps you should spend less time with him. I've found myself doing that with friends that grate on my nerves. But he's an adult, so as stupid as you think his choices are, they're his to make.
2sure Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Certainly it is strange that he has been engaged three times. Have all three included an engagement ring, a wedding date, and real estate? If this is the only one in which he has actually booked a hall and shopped for a house...in his mind he was just dating the others.
Katherineos123 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 It doesnt sound to me like he is taking these engagements very seriously. I feel as though an engagement is nothing to be taking lightly. Two people intermingling their life... for better or for worse... not until someone else catches your eye! It seems like he just has that marriage bug! He wants to be engaged, regardless of who it is! Not that Im saying it wont work out between them, it very well could be a fairy tale romanace, but I certainely would NEVER accept an engagement AND buy a house with someone within two months of dating, no matter HOW many sparks were flying!
Author kaisergal Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 he has bought a ring with each one proposing to each one virtually in the beginning of each relationship! He got engaged to his last fiance literally straight away. His last fiance was a long distance relationship as she was in uni but if she want perhaps he wouldve booked up with her too. Thing is yes hes oh i want ot marry this woman settle down but that was like only 2 and hf months in and still the honeymoon period. Each gf hes had has lasted no more than 1/2 yrs the last one 3 but i wouldnt count last yr as they were having 'probs'. But u dont dump a girl who youve been engaged to for 3 yrs for a girl youve only known a week. His family think theyre on a rebound and he shoudl ahve time to be single
Meaplus3 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Hmmm.. It does sort of sound like a quick leap to me. But then again, I have known people who have become engaged and married rather fast and now 20 some years later are happy as clams. I think it all depends on the individuals. Mea:)
2sure Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 You know what? In all probability it isnt going to happen. My H & I were engaged and married quickly so it DOES happen...but wont here. Given his history of falling in love and getting engaged so quickly, during the "honeymoon" period of each relationship... To get through the planning, finances, decisions, and logistics of a real wedding AND even worse, buying a house together... Takes two people with a huge level of cimmittment and a history of working problems out together plus a lot of maturity & common sense. All of those things listed above will put a couple through the wringer - and can make or break a relationship.
jazzlovr1990 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 id say thats too soon, they need to sit back and go with the flow for a while. make sure you let him know how you feel about the whole situation
bean1 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 So they are a pair of monkeys, can't let go of one branch until they have another. 2sure is bang-on when it comes to the other real stresses, what is he going to do when she gives birth and can't have sex for a while? What about if the real estate contract goes through? Getting an addition $2000 bill from the wedding venue for unforseen things, or there is a car accident and wife ends up in a wheelchair? Will he stick with her, or just grab another branch? Then again, it sounds like he may be the kind of guy that knows keeping a ring on a girl's finger will "seal the deal" (even if there's no intention to seal it)
Author kaisergal Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 i think he will go through with wedding but do think hes a plank as its way way too soon!
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