jadelil25 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Im really confused on what to do and would really appreciate your help/opinions. Thank you. The last time I spoke to my boyfriend of 3 months was on Monday and I asked if it was ok to still do something wends ( tonight ) and he said that it should be fine. It is something we do on a regular basis, the plan is for me to go to his and for us to relax together. We normally do this once or twice a week. I tried to call twice yesterday and did not get an answer so I left it at that and then I have messaged him early this morning. I asked how he was and then said, I hope that you are well and still ok for tonight. Do you think this sounds like im asking him or telling him?? I also asked if he would like me to bring anything or pick him up anything in the shop. In the past if he has not been able to make it he has always let me know early in the day that he can not make it so that im aware and know whats going on and he normally also gets back to me and confirms that is fine. As this is something that we do on a regular basis do you think it would be ok to still turn up if he does not get back to me?? I guess if it was not ok that he would let me know/would have let me know like he normally does?? Please help. Im so confused. I dont want to look like im standing him up and he is going home for a bit so it is the only chance I will get to see him for a week.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 How long has he been considered your BF and how many times has this been a regular thing (the hanging out at his place)? Not knowing the answer to those questions, my BF and I have been together for only 2 1/2 months, and we have hung out every single week on my days off since then. It's pretty much an understood thing that we'll be together on my days off. That being said, if this happened to me, I'd just show up. But I DO find it incredibly odd that you haven't heard from him at all. My BF and I talk every night for about an hour and then we talk for a few mins in the morning. Is it normal for you guys to go this long without talking? Does he have a busy job that could pull him away or school? Could something personal have come up? Anyway - based on MY relationship, I'd show up.
Author jadelil25 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 We have been together officially for three months and we have done this for the whole time. We see each other once or twice a week and wends is a regular day. Sometimes we do go for about 2 days with out talking to each other because of work and things. Also he is someone who likes to have time to him self, time where he gets home and goes to bed with out seeing or talking to anyone else. I think this is what he done yesterday. This is is his first proper relationship so he is use to being on his own and he is the one who said to me that he does not want anything casual, he wants something long term/serious. Also in the past when he has not been able to make it, he has let me know by 10:00-11:00 time in the morning. He normally does respond at some point and say it is fine too. I guess by the fact that he has always informed early before when it is not ok that it will be fine for me to just turn up and if he says he is not in the mood then I can just leave. I messaged him at 8:30 this morning so do you think it would be ok to leave it until 3:30ish time and ask once more or if I dont hear anything should I assume it is fine and turn up?
Treasa Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Oh my gosh....judging from your posts in the last couple weeks, you are totally losing yourself. Ever since he tried to break up with you and you begged him not to, you've been killing yourself trying not to crush the eggshells you're walking on. You have lost ALL control and turned it over to him. If he doesn't respond to you by noon, call him and tell him (or leave a message) that since you haven't heard from him, you've made other plans and hope he has a good night. And then DO NOT contact him again. Argh. This relationship is only going to deteriorate if you keep doing what you're doing. Maybe you should tell him you need some time to think about things, and then don't contact him for a couple of weeks. Then you'll REALLY know how he feels about you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Oh my gosh....judging from your posts in the last couple weeks, you are totally losing yourself. Ever since he tried to break up with you and you begged him not to, you've been killing yourself trying not to crush the eggshells you're walking on. You have lost ALL control and turned it over to him. If he doesn't respond to you by noon, call him and tell him (or leave a message) that since you haven't heard from him, you've made other plans and hope he has a good night. And then DO NOT contact him again. Argh. This relationship is only going to deteriorate if you keep doing what you're doing. Maybe you should tell him you need some time to think about things, and then don't contact him for a couple of weeks. Then you'll REALLY know how he feels about you. Sheep dip. I went back and looked at your posts and Treasa is right. The guy isn't respectful of you at all. My BF ALSO enjoys his alone time immensely, but he at least communicates with me. I had no idea this was a regular thing of just ignoring you. You've already made a "should I show up" post - just last week, in fact. Good heavens. The guy tried to break up with you, and he hardly communicates, and he's hanging out on a dating site. Hello?
bean1 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 The guy tried to break up with you, and he hardly communicates, and he's hanging out on a dating site. Hello? If OP begged him not to break up with her, doesn't communicate, and hangs out on dating sites, then he is trying to break up using the other route: fading away. OP-This man isn't your BF anymore, you are going to have to come to terms with that.
Recommended Posts