cen Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Hi everyone. My girlfriend and I recently broke up (after 2 years) and I've been taking it pretty hard. We had been VERY close friends for about 6 years leading up to the relationship, and I can honestly say I haven't ever had the connection with anyone that I have with her .. she would say the same about me. Previous to us being together we had each been seeing different people on & off and it seemed like our partners always had a problem with our close connection. The breakup came about because I felt there were some underlying communication issues, as well as a lack on my part to be fully emotionally vulnerable in the relationship. This is a problem that has come up in previous relationships for me, and I have now started seeing a therapist as I realize the issues go deeper than anything I can work out on my own. In addition to this she feels like she needs some time to work on herself, figuring out if her career choice is exactly where she wants to head etc... and has asked for time to do so. She says she "cannot get back to being in a relationship, right now" as she feels very confused about many things in her life, and when asked what she means by "right now" she basically says she can't rule out that we may get back together, but cannot be in a relationship at the moment with us or anyone else". Additionally though, she has said that she wants to salvage the friendship that we had. I personally don't see us being able to return to that sort of connection, as we both have always had this attraction for one another since day 1. I've been trying to be as patient as possible (its only been about 3 - 4 weeks), but one thing that has come about is that she has agreed to go to a couples counselor at my request... as long as its not with expectation that we will get back together, rather to see what went wrong and how we've ended up here. I realize that if someone is completely done with the relationship they would not agree to something like couples therapy, but I don't know how much of it is to keep the friendship or if its potentially for something more. I'm wondering what any of you think about this, I know she's going through a difficult time .. and I'm having a really hard time with it all as it suddenly seems entirely up in the air, but finally getting therapy for myself is as much for me as it is (hopefully) for us... I wonder how long I should hold out, and how I can manage my feelings and be patient. any advice, or insight is very much appreciated.
Author cen Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 I should mention that we're now both 27 years old, I forgot to include that info in the original post.
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