neveragain2493 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Strange title, right? But I have a serious question. Guys... when you no longer want to be with a girl, why do some of you completely stop talking to us? No 'I'm sorry, but I don't want to be with you'. Just completely forget us. Any explanations, or are they just jerks? I ask because in one relationship, the guy I liked went out with me a couple of times (we worked out great) and then totally ignored the things I sent him (I rarely sent anything, so it wasn't cling). A friend of his was also my friend, and his friend had to get the guy to talk to me. The guy then told me he wasn't interested, and said, "Sorry... I guess", when I said it hurt me. The next guy, most recent. We had a long history as friends until the girlfriend came along. They broke up, and then he asked me out, so I went. He told me how I'd intimidated him, how he liked me, how great I was... We kissed.. He kept up contact for awhile, and then totally just stopped. I came to school and saw him with the ex, and that was history. I would have been half as upset or hurt if they had said, "Look, this isn't going to work." In my opinion, it's inconsiderate and disrespectful.
sultry33 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 easy option;) i was with my ex for 4yrs.. he didnt even wake me when he left.. and left letter saying "dont contact me ever.. but know that i love you more" yea thanks.... have a word for him.. coward.. an a fewmore i cannot post:laugh: dont sweat it, who would want someone who islike that anyhow x
Khabarak Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Not all guys are like that! I certainly am not! I've never done anything like that and I can confidently say I never will. So basically... in my opinion THOSE guys are just jerks. They should have at least had the decency to call you back and let you know what was going on. I feel for you though... It's not just guys. This happened to me with the last girl I dated. Things were going really well. She completely lead me to believe that everything was fine, then she stopped answering my calls/emails. Finally I got a hold of her and she was back with her ex-boyfriend -- she even want so far as to call me rude for continuing to try to get in touch with her! I could go on and on, but I'm sure no one really wants to hear it, so I'll leave it at that.
sultry33 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 yea meant to add not everyone is like that.. just if they are u have had lucky escape really;)
Author neveragain2493 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 I know that not everyone is like this, but it feels like most of the people I get involved with are! Haha. I agree, they are cowards.
fishtaco Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Well, those were examples of bad etiquette, but they are "legal". The rules are that as long as you are casual, you don't owe each other anything. Personally if I get pass a certain point of building connection, I would go beyond what's required of me legally and make sure I observe good dating etiquette. But etiquette is not the same as rules. Think of it as someone chewing with their mouth open. Bad etiquette, maybe annoying, sure. But you can't kick them out of the restaurant for that. That's what this is. I wouldn't worry about it. Just like the guy chewing with his mouth open, sure, it annoyed you, but it makes THEM look bad, not you. Important thing is to know they are now no longer interested in you. My suggestion is to not be interested in anyone that's not interested in you. So as of now, they don't matter to you in the least bit anymore. This is a good thing. Why would you want to date someone like that anyway? Consider it two bullets dodged.
phineas Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Women do it too. Not all. I'd be dating someone & then they would just fall off the face of the earth. sometimes, a month or two later they'd "call me back" to see what I was doing. HUH?!?!? If she didn't open up with "I was in a coma" I'd just hang up then.
westernxer Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 It's less painful to go cold turkey. Either way, you're gonna despise him. LOL
Canada_Girl Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 No a person - guy or girl - should let a person know if it is not going to work out. It is only respectful. Even if it is an email.
BCCA Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I agree that 1) these guys are jerks/cowards, and 2) thats the easy way out. I've had plenty of women do it to me. I even had one send me an email a month later that said 'you should get out and date more, dont limit yourself' Gee, thanks for the advice... People now a days are cowards overall. I can remember when asking someone out required getting their number and calling to talk to them. Now, people send facebook/myspace messages, emails or texts far more often than they call. I even had a friend of mine tell me that shes less likely to answer/respond to a call than a text, just because she doesnt want to have to talk to anyone. lol
sultry33 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I agree that 1) these guys are jerks/cowards, and 2) thats the easy way out. I've had plenty of women do it to me. I even had one send me an email a month later that said 'you should get out and date more, dont limit yourself' Gee, thanks for the advice... People now a days are cowards overall. I can remember when asking someone out required getting their number and calling to talk to them. Now, people send facebook/myspace messages, emails or texts far more often than they call. I even had a friend of mine tell me that shes less likely to answer/respond to a call than a text, just because she doesnt want to have to talk to anyone. lol im actually the same.. calls you got to deal with as soon as u get them.. im very busy most ofthe time and my son requires constant watching.. also you got to be in the mood to chat.. saying hi hows you> through clenched teeth is not great! so basically texting is much better
BCCA Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 im actually the same.. calls you got to deal with as soon as u get them.. im very busy most ofthe time and my son requires constant watching.. also you got to be in the mood to chat.. saying hi hows you> through clenched teeth is not great! so basically texting is much better You can call people back at a more convenient time. Or text them that youre busy, but will chat when you get a second. I think texting is just the easy way out. Its like passing notes in school instead of talking to the girl you like.
sultry33 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 You can call people back at a more convenient time. Or text them that youre busy, but will chat when you get a second. I think texting is just the easy way out. Its like passing notes in school instead of talking to the girl you like. i guess your right.. although in uk.. everyone seems to text i get calls but honestly i never call..even when i was in ltr he called me;) just got a text.. now a dilema..
Author neveragain2493 Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 The thing is, the second guy and I were not casual. I've known him for years. He told me I am the best friend he's ever had, and that he's always been intimidated by me. His exact words were, "You are so much more than a friend to me. Can you not tell by the way that I look at you?" Easy way out, sure. I'd be lying if I said I was content not having the last word in. What is even more cowardly is that I see the guy everyday, and he acts now like I never existed. Anyways, yes. It is easier to text, but we shouldn't rely on it. Never good to become a 'textrovert'
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 The thing is, the second guy and I were not casual. I've known him for years. He told me I am the best friend he's ever had, and that he's always been intimidated by me. His exact words were, "You are so much more than a friend to me. Can you not tell by the way that I look at you?" Easy way out, sure. I'd be lying if I said I was content not having the last word in. What is even more cowardly is that I see the guy everyday, and he acts now like I never existed. Anyways, yes. It is easier to text, but we shouldn't rely on it. Never good to become a 'textrovert' Uh... sounds like he used you to get his ex jealous... it worked... and he didn't want to be forced to admit it. I do suggest you take the "cold turkey" route with girls that are crazy. It's much safer!
Author neveragain2493 Posted April 11, 2009 Author Posted April 11, 2009 Thanks, but I'm not crazy...
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