Jay34 Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 i broke up with my ex 4.5 months ago, and since then i have gone pretty much no contact, i still think about her a lot, but i try to get her out of my head. i recently saw pictures and heard some things about her and it seems like she is a totally different person, drinking, out partying all night, and she was someone who was so against it, i talked to her once and she told me it was because she was depressed, who knows why. i just can't understand how someone changed so much, someone who seemed different turned into exactly what i didn't want, i mean she tries contacting me often but i have blocked most of the communication by now, i just can't understand it, i wish she would snap out of it and look at herself for once, i dont give a damn if she was with me or not, but i dont wish bad on her. and it looks like she is putting herself in bad situations. just curious why does this happen and has it happened with anyone else s ex
Alex_M Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 You broke up with her so now she's depressed and forcing herself to do new things to feel better? What's not to get? You left, so let her do her own things and don't worry about her.
huck Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 How old is your ex ??.. how long were you going out for ??.. If you were together for ages she might be trying to flush out of her system what she missed while you were together.. drinking, clubbing with her mates..
Flying Burrito Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 You mean you would feel better if your ex was home picking splinters out of her ass while pining for you right?
NINEBREAKER Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 sounds like my last relationship. i left her because she changed during the relationship though
EllieBean Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 When you dumped her you gave up all rights to comment on her behaviour. If she's gotten over the breakup and is out having fun, then good for her.
Author Jay34 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 nothing to do with that, if she was having so much fun why would she say she is losing control of her life and drinks until she can't think. its like she calls me out of despair.
Thomas X Forever Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 You all are cold. And for me to be calling you cold, you all must be made of ice. Cuz I usually am pretty damn chilly. If she keeps bringing you into it, then you have every right to be concerned bout her behavior. Forget the previous statements. My opinion? Either change your number, or do something to fix her. Go talk to her and don't let it go.
Donovan Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 i don't think she changed at all. I think she was always that person but you were keeping her from doing it by the time u spent with her. i've had the same thing happen to me with an ex. when we seperated she started using drugs, sleeping around with any and everyone, partying all night, and even getting abortions. but i realized she was always that person and the person i am, who uses no drugs whatsoever or drinks, kept her from all of it.. don't feel bad, she was never about anything to begin with
Author Jay34 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 i agree the few posters before were cold, but i agree its a combination, according to her she never drank alcohol before, i agree spending so much time with me stopped her from doing some things, she seems to be with who she is around and unfortunately attracting negative people. for someone who told me that she cant stand the whole party thing it makes me confused, i really cant save her, i told her to get a good counselor and to be careful, but what else can i do, be it in mine she hurt me.
Island Girl Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Hey Jay34 I knew I recognized your writing and the situation. I remember when all of this kind of ramped up. All the new 'friends' and the drinking until she couldn't see straight. She is still drunk dialing, huh? You're right you can't save her. It sucks all the way around but she needs her family to step in. If anyone is going to get through to her, and get to the bottom of why she is doing this to her life suddenly, it is them. I'm glad to see you are doing well though. And that you at least separated from the head games she was playing. Good to see you here.
Flying Burrito Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 i just can't understand how someone changed so much, someone who seemed different turned into exactly what i didn't want Thom, Nope. Not cold. Calling bullsh*t where I see it. Jay34's ex probably thinks its all about him too.
Donovan Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 i agree the few posters before were cold, but i agree its a combination, according to her she never drank alcohol before, i agree spending so much time with me stopped her from doing some things, she seems to be with who she is around and unfortunately attracting negative people. for someone who told me that she cant stand the whole party thing it makes me confused, i really cant save her, i told her to get a good counselor and to be careful, but what else can i do, be it in mine she hurt me. dude hanging with someone doesn't make you take up their habits. do u know how many drunks and drug users i've been around since i was a kid? she's mentally weak and wants to do those things anyway, so she surrounds herself with people that do them.
Author Jay34 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 yeah i agree, i believe she wants to do them but doesn't. she does it to feel better, her family is not very good, they aren't horrible people, just very cold, uncaring, definitely not people she could go 2. and i do agree she is mentally weak, i feel bad but its not really my place to step in, she wants me to know she isn't doing good without me. but i understand its healthier to be away from her. especially for now
Island Girl Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 her family is not very good, they aren't horrible people, just very cold, uncaring, definitely not people she could go 2. Forgive me. I forgot this part.
urdone Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 i broke up with my ex 4.5 months ago, and since then i have gone pretty much no contact, i still think about her a lot, but i try to get her out of my head. i recently saw pictures and heard some things about her and it seems like she is a totally different person, drinking, out partying all night, and she was someone who was so against it, i talked to her once and she told me it was because she was depressed, who knows why. i just can't understand how someone changed so much, someone who seemed different turned into exactly what i didn't want, just curious why does this happen and has it happened with anyone else s ex This is my ex misses exactly...except she was the one that left and changed 100% into a totally different person and totally lost the plot it's been 4 months solid now and she's showing no signs of slowing down. I agree with some other posters...on the surface she was church goer, didn't drink, family woman the whole 9 yards....we were married 10 years....she left on Xmas day......There was always something there...an abusive childhood, a very deep and subduded rage....but the whole church angle acted as a safety valve, once we split she didn't go to church again and this opened pandoras box, she's doing everything you have described...and only after 2 1/2 months has got a boyfriend and introduced him to our son which has totally freaked us both out. An over compensation maybe?, trying to vill the void that's left?, trying to reinvent oneself by pushing the limits of previously held values...maybe a bit of everything combined. Even though I hate her with an almost consuming passion I am very worried about the direction her life has taken... Tell you what, it's great for her...and hell for me.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 This is kind of how my boyfriend is becoming. 2 years....the first year he gave everything for me. Second year he wanted to reclaim his 'space' so was always out with friends, never invited me, said he couldn't be 'himself' with me there. I guess you never really know a person.
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