Awesome84 Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Does anyone think that Making Out or Heavy Petting (not oral sex) to be just as bad as having sex with someone??? Like if your trying to wait to have sex with someone... is Making Out or Heavy Petting bad??? Or Guys.... what if the girl is trying to wait but you guys have made out heavily.... would you still respect her or like her afterwards??? Does the respect level decline like having sex??
EllieBean Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 In terms of abstinence, making out is not the same as having sex. Many people who are waiting to have sex still make out in the meantime, and I wouldn't lose respect for a person because we did that together. However, in terms of cheating, making out IS as bad as sex. I would feel equally betrayed if my partner had sex with another person or just made out with them.
voldigicam Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I tend not to think that making out is bad. The context might make a great difference. People do have sexual drives and are wired to help each other out with these. Someone committed to being non-sexual would be disappointed in themselves for engaging in any level of sexual activity. In contrast, someone committed to another but determined not to engage in penetration before marriage could quite easily decide to engage in everything but. Reading between the lines in personal memoirs from the 19th C, engaged couples would often engage in heavy petting and even oral activities before marriage. As far as a "cheating" thing, I suspect it counts. Although I tend to think a single drunken ONS isn't nearly as threatening as a deep but non-sexual outside relationship that sucks energy from the primary relationship.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Ah...so we're trying to define sex. Personally, I consider it to be when there's any genital contact with ANY part of the other person's body...or if they use something to make that contact.
Author Awesome84 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 LOL... How did cheating get in the conversation?? LOL. But I suppose we could examine that too.... Not that that is what I am going through but since we are talking about sex and such... it can be brought into the discussion. Anyhow... My thing is that... if you say you want to wait... and you get each other all hot and bothered.... theres almost a feeling of... why don't we just do it. In my situation... we didn't actually DO it... but there was some heavy making out involved. The waiting stems from the fact that I've been hurt previously by a friend that I started dating. We were friends and we worked together. Which is kind of the same situation now. I've been down that road before and I've been hurt. With THAT guy, I was friends with him for 8 years before and then we decided to date but he broke my heart after 4 months and after I already had sex with him. It was VERY difficult to salvage the friendship and VERY difficult to keep coming to work after the fall out. In the current situation... after the making out.... I almost had a feeling of fear and regret. I had a feeling of 'OMG... WHAT ARE WE DOING??'.... So the next day I texted him telling him that we should never go down that road again. He agreed... which kinda made me a little sad that he was so agreeable about it. Now I don't even know if we still can be friends or what. Or if he still respects me like before after all the has happened. I feel like a fool for telling him 'NO' but then letting it get THAT far.
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