sexibanez Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Man that really doesnt help me. She really wanted to know about when we were to contact and stuff, is there no way I can save this? I told her i didnt care what she did with other men while we were apart, but i move back in the summer and i am going to get a place in an area she'd like to live as we talked about when we were together. I'm just stuck in London until then. I have been with er for a long time and am good with her and her boy, is there nothing I can do? Should I try to get back together now and ditch my job?
Ilovehim Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Okay I'm going to give you soem advice which I have no idea if its the right one or not..but anyway...here it is... Have you ever tried getting an e-book on how tog et your ex back?? i know everyone says their garbage but they never bought them and i ahvent either so i dont know perhaps they are....most likely they are just trying to rip people off but then again i have no clue...maybe if u read it u could be the judge yourself whether their advice sounds good or not... also what i DONT suggest you do is beg and plead, please do not do that..i did it and 9 months later i feel like crap because of it...its okay to show someone you love them and cry once or twice but never overdo it...you can show someone u love them and that your hurt without putting yourself down... also try having a talk with her sya all you have to say while trying your best to keep your dignity and hear her out, if she is stickign to your guns then handle it maturely be the bigger person...tell her you love her and then allow yourself to heal...go NC..you can tell her u cant be her friend right now but that maybe someday you will and walk away knowing you said it all but also knowing you kept your dignity... in the meantime you will be sad and it will suck but unfortuantely some things arent up to us....i wish you the best!!
Author sexibanez Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 Thank you so much fr your reply! I have actually bought an e-book by TW jackson (the magic of making up), it's basically saying go NC for a month and then take it slow s friends and move from there. We were actually talking on MSN last night, and she wanted to eat, i suggested to go over but she disagreed. We eventually got talking about us and i told her the break up was a good thing because it helped me address things that were wrong with the relationship. And that i had a new bug for life and socialising while we've been apart. She was really happy and told me to come over. We ate, it was like the good old days. Then we talked about us - and it all went wrong. I reiterated break up was good because i had used the time to see what was wrong, she agreed with most of my points, but as soon as i said in future if we did get back together we would do so much better, she shut up shop. She said that she felt so let down and unhappy at the low points in our relationship that she never wanted to give me that power and trust to do that again, so we could never be together again. I tried my best to say that i'd never hurt her again to which i got the "You cant promise that", and i told her that i assessed whether she was the one i REALLY wanted and the answe was yes. To which i got "you only ever been with me how do you know?" She even told me to have sex with other women and that i was just being desperate as she was al i knew. It basically all backfired, and i was doing so well to begin with! Basically she is great at putting up barriers, and she has an adament one up about not getting with me so she doesnt have to worry about getting hurt (LDR relationship where i never came back when i promised to). In the end she told me that i needed to move on because she wouldnt have me, and that she didnt want a relationship, she is happy being young free and independent. I tried saying that she could be those things and that i'd be there too to no avail. She basically told me that we couldnt be friends because I still loved her. She still loves me but is happy to not know her future for now. She then went on to tell me next year she will move abroad. A mutual friend told me that she is adament, but that she needs to be like that with me in order for the break while we're apart to stick, and said a few weeks ago she said it was what my ex thought she needed 'for now'. Her sister thinks when i move back we can just start again and a lot of the problems wont be there anymore as i will be around and stuff. Its just a case of whether she will give me another chance.
troubadour Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Sorry about your situation... but Magic of Making Up is simply ludicrous. This guy is a BS artist... when you read it you will know it is true. Get your money back. The best idea is to go NC until you heal completely. Don't ditch your job. Good luck.
Recommended Posts