Ilovehim Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Well he "fell out of love" with me but as I stated in another post I humiliated myself long enough after he left crying all the time and making him feel like the best thing to walk this planet while he made me feel like I was nothing. I have been sad & angry & have missed him and went through all the emotions. I try to use psychology and "think different about the situation". That works for a little but then it all comes crushing to me. Now after seeing me so depressed and broken I thought my ex would at least care to call and see how Im goin..it has been 9 months after all, but all he has done is text me and I dont like that. I can see everything more clear now but it doesnt matter. I guess I will always be seen as the girl whose heart he broke. I see myself through his eyes and I dont like how he sees me..or better yet, how i THINK he sees me. He looked at me with so much pity, it hurts me to know that someone I loved so much and said loved me so much, feels nothing for me anymore but pity. Although he told me he think sim beautiful and a great person but his feelings just left...I cant help but feel so worthless sometimes. I dont like putting myself down but I really feel so miserable and like my self-esteem has hit rock bottom. I try to tell myself that I wasnt pathetic and I was just really depressed, I couldnt help but act that way.. I have such a hard time letting go of anything..esp. the fact that he doesnt care about me anymore at all..
sexyboy_69_69 Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 It has been 2 months since my gf left me, its a long, dramatic and suspenseful story and after trying everything, i have realized that allowing her to see me depressed is what she wants and guys are the same way. You have to appear happy and do NC - no contact until he messages you. If you appear happy and show him you moved on without him, he will realize that you never did need him and that you're enjoying life without him. This will be a slap in the face for him, trust me. My gf and i knew each other for 2 yrs b4 starting to date and 7 months in she atarted ignoring me and not answering calls or texts. I cried for 2 weeks. Could not eat, work, sleep ..... and i still dream about getting back with her even though im double guessing myself if she really is the one, maybe not. She got back with her ex who she left for me last year but he dooent want her fully back and since i have ignored her and told her to never message me again. I gave her the silent treatment and deleted her from facebook, msn ... she tried talking to me cux now she misses me and texted me asking for her camera charger but i ignored her. The next day she emailed me saying a bounch of things such as lets not allow the past to cause problems and drama and that she wanted to talk as friends... I ignored her again and it feels good, now she is the one being rejected and this is what you have to do. Post pics of yourself having fun, enjoying the good time without him and improve yourself (gym, education, looks, new hairstyle, clothes) and it will catch his attention. If he contacts you, continue no contact unless the message says something you prefer to hear such as " lets talk about us" or " I want you in my life again"... Anyways, i can keep writing forever but ask me anything you want, i have been given advice my many people, therapists, teachers... and i got my degree in psychology. Feel free to ask
Author Ilovehim Posted April 7, 2009 Author Posted April 7, 2009 wow you got your degree in psychology?? thats great. how old are you?? well the thing is that he doesnt give me a chance to show him anything because he deleted me from his friends list online and he hardly calls, only texts hey how are you and i reply because i dont pay much attention to it and i dont like ignoring him, plus it has been 9 months and i havent called him since the first couple of months so by now it seems like everything is good and i ahve healed..i never initiate contact exept for a few months ago when i told him im sorry i had to ignore him at the time i was trying to heal and that i have forgiven him for everything he did..i said that because he had tried to get in touch with me and say he is sorry for how he acted and i didnt want to hold a grudge..i honestly forgive him...after that we talked for a little but that was it..he doesnt say anything that satisfies me, it just made me feel better to let him know i forgve him, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders... but i still love him and miss him and i suck at playing games, esp. because my ex doesnt chase like yours did...and he is so emotionless now, like nothing i could do or say would matter..he actually wants me to be happy...which is good i guess...it wasnt one of those break-ups like "let me show you"...it was more of a "i love you but im not in love with you anymore and i hope you find someone who will be." yet my self-esteem still got destroyed because that showed me even more how he saw me as "just a friend"...and my life has been very miserable without him making it 10 times harder to move on.
sexyboy_69_69 Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Well im 22, got my bachelor degree in psychology and minor in health science, not sure if i want to continue for my masters in psych or just med school. My ex, just like yours and wanted to be friends and said that it sucks things could not work out but her real reason was that her ex bf was back in the picture. I went crazy and ignored her so that caught her attention and she is feeling rejected now since im ignoring her. I owe her $100 but i will give it to her in 10'000 pennies because she robbed my heart and gave it back in 10'000 pieces without any regret and remorse. Id like to add that even though they may seem they have moved on easily, they are still thinking of you and are curious as to what you're up to. The only thing is that i wish she would have loved and cared for me like i cared for her and i'm sure you are thinking the same. I would buy her flowers, kiss her all over, massage her and do cute things for her and i wish someone special would do the same for me and love me more than i love them, which would be hard. I know you have irresistible qualities like myself that many people cannot resist and that those qualities will make someone the happiest person one day. Even though you really cared for your ex, you seemed to have grown and that is good because after all, if he didnt treat you like a princess, it would not be good to get back into that relationship since someone out there exists that will make you feel special, offering you unconditional life regardless of what decision you make in life. I though my ex was the one and that nobody would ever be like her but as time passed i realized that maybe its a good thing she left me because i would not have had the courage and guts to leave her and would be stuck with someone who was not meant for me. You seem like a nice person and you deserve better than that, in my opinion. I am remaining single for a bit because i am still not ready to donate my heart to a random girl, it will take a lot for anyone to win me over like my ex did. Oh, and im curious as to how old you are; im newto this so my profile is blank but i will be decorating it very shortly, lol
EllieBean Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Don't reply when he texts; blank him completely, because keeping in touch is just hurting you more. You may have humiliated yourself in the past, but don't continue to be his fool - ignore him and get on with having fun without him. He doesn't love you, so you shouldn't care what he thinks of you. Just because one guy doesn't want you, that doesn't mean you're worthless - I bet there are loads of guys out there who would love to date you. The fact that you weren't compatible with one guy doesn't mean you won't be compatible with someone else. Do yourself a favour: get out, meet people, and even if you don't want to date them just take notice of how many guys flirt and show interest in you - quite a few I expect
huck Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 you've given some quality responses and advice there sexyboy. That degree in psyche is doing good for ya. Every day I read peoples posts and it makes me realise little things about my ex which she didnt do in the relationship. Your comment about massages etc is the same.. I used to give massages, rub her feet, buy gifts and cards etc.. She never bothered to return any of that stuff.. It didnt matter at the time - but looking back i deserved a lot more !!
Hersheys Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I can totally relate. It's hard to feel good about yourself knowing that the person you love and care for doesn't feel the same way. I guess the thing to do is to just let time heal. We just have to go through the process now and be optimistic that maybe in a couple of weeks or months we will feel so much better than what we are feeling now. Also try to think that your ex is just ONE person who failed to appreciate the great things about you but there a lot MORE people out there who thinks differently, who appreciates you, who can't wait to get to know you and who would love to be in your company.
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