T_Roc Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 I don't remember the last time I posted on any kind of Forum, but I need some advice real bad, an outside perspective on things. First off, I broke up with my girlfriend after 4 years. There was never any dishonesty in this relationship, and for the most part we had a lot of great moments. My friends got along with her, we both spent a lot of time with each others family. We were really tight, not only were we dating, we were best friends. However, as time goes on you get to know the true nature of people, and she had some really home-grown issues. For example, massive mood swings, jealousy towards other people, and all around hate at times. And I was never that kind of person, I could never seethe that much or hate anything to the extent of her feelings. Her anger with her job and distaste for some of the people around her seeped into our relationship, and I always did my best to comfort her, but little things turned into huge fights. These arguments would not get resolved because she would just shut down, and I would just wait it out. After giving her a minute, the next day was like nothing ever happened. It was a pain dealing with her sometimes, but I tried to justify it because of her problems at home, and I wanted to be there for her. I noticed myself trying to emphasize with her and agreeing when she talked bad about someone or something, and I was never really that way. I didn't want to be that person. I'm a happy go lucky kind of guy, and her personal problems were eating me up. One day she decided she wanted a break to get her head straight, and I agreed as usual. After talking with close friends and family. I decided, a few weeks, or even months wasn't going to help her. Her problems are too deep rooted and unstable. I decided it was best that I moved on with my life, before her problems took me down with her. I was being relied upon as a band aid for the pain she was feeling. But we all have our breaking points and I reached mine. I ignored my heart, and broke up with her. The pain I felt after I said what I had to say was unbearable, but I follow through with my choices, and she knows that. She went from sad, understanding, to anger, to hate, all sorts of emotional distress. I felt like I killed someone. It sucks! Worst feeling ever... Numerous times I've doubted myself, wondering if I made the right decision. We talked about marriage, kids, and houses, etc... And I've thought about fighting to keep this relationship afloat with the potential to fix things. Though, I already know, she has some problems I could never help fix. I found it hard to convince myself not to go back into this relationship. I couldn't even remember why I broke up with her until I wrote this. I'm really at odds with myself... and I feel horrible. This is a very one sided letter, and I'm sure I've made my own mistakes, but did I do the right thing? Am I about to give up on the person that may have been my wife? Mother of my kids? This has to be one of the hardest decisions of ever made... it really does.
bananacake Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 You made the right decision. Another 4 years with this and where would you be? What about another 20? She was gonna drag you down with her and you did the only thing you could do. Her emotional problems arent your obligation to fix. Sometimes you just gotta bail for your own sake.
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