dismilla Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Ok I'm having a mini crisis... I had managed to go 1 week with NC and then last night I broke it. I know I shouldn't have done it but it was an automatic subject to make me txt him! I didn't get a reply - not that I was expecting one- but then half an hour later I txt him again to apologise for txting him!!!! What is going on in my head?!? I want him back so badly and it doesn't help that I saw him today. All I want to do is go to his and beg him to take me back. Not that I will ever lower myself to begging mind you but the temptation is unbelieveable. I have posted my story on here before but basically I have no idea why we split up. He refuses to meet me in person to explain and I'm going mad from not knowing... When we frist split a couple weeks ago I did go a bit obsessive for a few days and I know this pushed him away. I just don't think I can get over him without knowing what happened! He owes me an explanation but I don't think he'll give me one. I'm contemplating the idea of writing a short note and posting it through his door but I can't figure out if it'll do much good. I doubt he'd respond but I NEED to know what went wrong and this might be my only way of getting an answer. Should I bother with this? Please give some advice and if anyone's done anything similar to the note writing thing, how did it end up? Thanks in advance!
paperchase Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 You cannot make someone give you an answer if they don't want to. Plus, 9 times out of 10 the answer you get will be a LIE! You must find your own closure. If you walk away and go NC long enough you ex very well may reach out to deal with their own feelings of guilt at which point they will probably apologize and seek your forgiveness. If you still even care, you might be able to get a somewhat honest explanation at that time. I say it with ease but I know it's not that easy to accept. If it helps, consider that in my case I've received a million different explanations and mixed signals from my ex. Thus, several months later I don't have any better closure than you do right now.
twicebitten Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 ... to paperchase!! I too was given NO explanation. I TRIED to call, text & email to get an answer/closure, but got nothing! So went NC & in a few weeks he was emailing me (I had changed #'s) & I eventually answered, but then HE did not give me a definitive answer, yet somehow ended up stringing-me-along AGAIN! I was left MORE devistated, confused & without closure than before! My only advice ... no matter how HARD ... is to go NC!! Paperchase is right, 9 times out of 10 their guilt, etc., will cause them to reach-out, but BEWARE usually NOT for what you want, but for what they want to feel better themselves!! HUGS to you!! XO - TB -
Author dismilla Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 Thank you both. I know you're right and NC is the way forward in this situation. It's just so difficult as he was the first guy I really let my guard down for and he goes and fu*ks me over! I know not all men are like this but it kind of feels like I'll never be able to trust another man again... I know it was too soon but I went on a date with another guy last night and I just spent the whole time comparing him to the ex! Needless to say it didn't go too well I guess it just goes to show you never really know someone no matter how much you think you do. I've never known him to have a mean bone in his body, until now. He was never this nasty to people he outright hated and that makes it worse that he's able to be like this with me when all I did was love him.
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