The Sex Sucks

[NINEBREAKER]

Stone, you and your b/f appear to have sexual needs that are a distance apart. You've already taken the initiative to spice things up and yet, he can't seem to meet your needs.

 

It also appears that serious chemistry is lacking in your relationship. Sex is very important in a relationship.

 

I don't think this is worthwhile. In expecting or pushing someone beyond their comfort level with sexuality, can badly inhibit.

its always been to me that sex is only as important in a relationship as it is to each of the partners.

 

have you talked with him bout your sex life? comunication is important in relationships.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Whatever, this used to be a very cool place to post, have not been back for YEARS now I see it's just a place to attack people.... No wonder many great posters have left.

I am confident in bed, that obviously repulses people here, my communication skills are fine, we are just not compatible. Whatever he is doing or not doing just doesn't light my fire, like dancing not everyone has the same beat. (Sigh) for you who posted smart ass remarks It's clear I asked for your 2 cents, you can take it back no use for it, Have a WONDERFUL day and get some class

Everyone else thanks for your advise, I have decided I am going to back off a bit, but some distance between us and take it from there.

 

If you won't describe the problem, then your clearly not here for advice, just to vent.

 

I don't care if you are sexually aggressive or not. I'm telling you from the way you describe the situation... it seems like it's mostly your fault. If that isn't the case then you should be able to explain why, and I will provide what advice I can.

 

What great posters have left? I can't think of a single good one that has left.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Whenever PrettyBaby posts, my hope for LoveShack comes back.

 

Add TrialByFire to that and you have my full agreement!

[Awesome84]

he won't even say as he calls the "P" word out loud...

 

Ummm Yea... I don't know if I could deal with that! Kudos to you that you are willing to work through this. I'd be out!

[AlektraClementine]

OP- Don't disregard entirely posters who you feel are being mean to you. You have quite the same disposition. Dish/Take, etc.

 

Now for my real advice. My bf is a bit more on the vanilla side than I am. I love the dirty talk and a bit of dominance which are not within his proclivities. We've been together for a year now and it has gotten progressively better because I have told him that I like these things and I don't do it in a way that seems "instructive". I do it in a way that is very suggestive sexually. I tell him these things with a tenor of being turned on. He may not like to spank, but he likes to turn me on so he uses certain phrases or forceful actions as a means to turn me on. If on the other hand, you have a man who's desire to not deviate very much during sex overrules his desire to please you, you should walk.

 

Another suggestion - ask him what he likes. Get him talking about it. Look through his porn selection (everyone's devilish predilections are revealed here).

 

One thing though, stop with the attitude that he needs to be taught. Yours isn't the RIGHT way. It's just your way.

[marlena]

I did not read this entire thread but here's my take on it. Even if it does get a bit better, he will never be the lover that you want/desrie/need to fulfill your needs as a woman. You are both sexually incompatible - very much so in fact. There seems to be no fire, no strong, irresistable attraction. Personally, I can't imagine how this could be a satisfying and fulfilling relationship without the physical aspect being met.

[bean1]

Anyways there are certian rules that should be followed in bed like NEVER cum before a woman, Sorry is not acceptable

 

Yikes. You aren't compatible with him. I feel sorry for him.

[Dexter Morgan]

You noticed that hard and fast rule too eh?

 

I didn't know sex was suppose to be like being in the military.

[bean1]

You noticed that hard and fast rule too eh?

 

I didn't know sex was suppose to be like being in the military.

 

That was actually freaky to see. No person should make such demands of their partner (male OR female). Instead of inusting LS, OP should take a look at her demands. Perhaps the sex is bad for HIM because the guy loves her BUT feels that he cannot meet her demands so he doesn't bother to try. How can he stay hard or orgasm with such pressure?

[Dexter Morgan]

That was actually freaky to see. No person should make such demands of their partner (male OR female). Instead of inusting LS, OP should take a look at her demands.

 

Thats why I can't help but to wonder what kinds of things she says to him or how she acts if the guy just can't hold off any longer....as if it is his fault.

 

Maybe if a guy cums too quickly she is just too damn sexy for him!

 

or maybe the guy has a problem and needs to see a doctor about it.

 

I just think that somehow he is getting beaten down over this.

[missdependant]

Sorry if anyone's asked this already... but important question:

 

Do you fake orgasms with him?

[Mahatma]

I used to think that my girlfriend's sex was pretty boring. However, I started thinking about it and realized I was also holding back during sex (both of us just started having sex about 6 months ago, so both of us a little shy about it). I wasn't any more into it than she was. I decided to open up more and get a little more into sex, and in turn so has she. The past couple weeks have been wonderful.

 

Others have pointed it out, but you seem to have many demands that probably make sex somewhat stressful for your guy. All he probably gets from you is all the mistakes he's making and what he's not doing right.

 

If the sex sucks, then look towards your self too.

[Stone]

Whatever he is NOT my husband, we have been dating for 6 months...

 

To conclude the story I took the advice of some and sat down and talked to him about it. He was upset at first but we worked thru it We deciced that we have diffrent sexual views, he feels that by doing certian things is disrespectful to me and I made it clear it's not, I like it and am uninhibited, so HE is booking us a cruise to the Bahamma's for 3 days so we can work on our sex life, and learn to communicate better... we agreed that this may be as far as the relationship goes, either way we still care about eachother and are looking forward to spending some more time togeather.

 

I am Happy with the results of our talk, I think we are both trying hard to keep this relationship, however some things should just come naturaly, ( pardon the pun) we are leaving on the 17th I am excited I see things improving...

[Stone]

Sorry if anyone's asked this already... but important question:

 

Do you fake orgasms with him?

 

Nope, I don't want to give him the wrong signal by doing that

[Stone]

 

Others have pointed it out, but you seem to have many demands that probably make sex somewhat stressful for your guy. All he probably gets from you is all the mistakes he's making and what he's not doing right.

 

If the sex sucks, then look towards your self too.

 

I never tell him about his mistakes, or what he is doing wrong, I am not mean to the guy at all:) I must have given the wrong impression

[marlena]

Good luck, then, Stone! Hope you have a wonderful time!

[boldjack]

Stone, I'm glad that you have taken a mature approach to this problem, and even if it doesn't work out,You will have him some respect. I had thought that you seemed an impatient/demanding person, but as I said in my earlier post, sometimes misunderstandings arise, I'm just glad that I was wrong, and you are trying to make it work. Godd Luck to both of you.

[Ruby Slippers]

so HE is booking us a cruise to the Bahamma's for 3 days so we can work on our sex life, and learn to communicate better...

Nice. Vacation sex is usually smokin'. I hope it gives you just the kickstart you need.

[Cherished]

Hopefully you will find out if he's gay or not...because if it doesn't happen on this cruise.....

[Tony]

That's all folks!