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The Sex Sucks

Stone

By Stone
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Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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I have been dating the NICEST guy, he is amazing adores me... Bla Bla Bla however he SUCKS in bed I mean bad, he is still the "nicest guy" in the bedroom.... I want to work on this relationship but he is not picking up on the ques and at this point is intimidated and is starting to complain that I use him for sex (LOL I am trying to train im!!)

 

How do you break it gently that he isn't hitting it?

 

And you are saying all of this because obviously you must think you are god's gift to men?

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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And you are saying all of this because obviously you must think you are god's gift to men?

whats shes saying is they guy is great but the sex aint cuttin it

Cherished Established Member

Cherished

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Well it doesn't surprise me that his wife had an affair. She clearly wasn't getting satisfied in the bedroom.

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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Well it doesn't surprise me that his wife had an affair. She clearly wasn't getting satisfied in the bedroom.

there more to a relationship than sex but for those who thiink otherwise read this

 

kama sutra

Chicago_Guy Established Member

Chicago_Guy

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OOOOKKK you couldn't have just kept clicking, you obviously have no clue and therefore shouldn't comment...

 

 

Anyways there are certian rules that should be followed in bed like NEVER cum before a woman, Sorry is not acceptable,if you receive oral be prepared to give some,... and know how.:o

 

I realize after 10 years of marriage you only get the occasional special occasion sex, you develop a routine however he caught his wife having an affair, I do not think that is acceptable however this is not a new problem for him... He is only 35 he should be trainable but he is not cooperative. I agree not everyone is compatible sexually and it is a shame, he truley is a great guy, I hate to lose him over sex... But in my opinion it is one of the most important parts of a relationship.

 

We are going out for lunch I will let you know what happens because I have to bring it up

 

So is the real problem that he doesn't know how to please you orally? I think you can work through this - you're just going to have to give him instructions until he figures it out and after he does it correctly tell him how much you enjoyed it. If he really likes you, he'll want you to feel like that again!

Pamcat826 Member

Pamcat826

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Everybody has preferences. Stone has hers and I have mine and I believe she should not be criticized for being OPEN and HONEST about them. I was going to solicit some advice from this crowd too, but after reading various different posts, there is no doubt in my mind I will not receive fair treatment.

 

Memo to Stone: Sometimes we have to trust ourselves enough to know when something isn't working in our relationships and will not satisfy us unless it changes. I once met a man who was perfect for me in everyway, except in the bedroom. I still think about him often and question whether or not we could have worked things out to our mutual satisfaction. But the bottom line is I was not about to settle then, and I'm not about to settle now.

 

Sometimes you just have to tell the guy you want to get f*cked, harder, deeper and faster and if he can not bring himself to connect with his passion for you to give you the sexual satisfaction you need and the hot and sweaty experiences your seeking than he should go take a seat on the bench and ride the pine.

 

We deserve a man who get f*ck us like an animal when we want to get laid. Dominate us, use us like a sex-toy and give us the orgasms we're seeking to enjoy.

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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Everybody has preferences. Stone has hers and I have mine and I believe she should not be criticized for being OPEN and HONEST about them. I was going to solicit some advice from this crowd too, but after reading various different posts, there is no doubt in my mind I will not receive fair treatment.

 

Memo to Stone: Sometimes we have to trust ourselves enough to know when something isn't working in our relationships and will not satisfy us unless it changes. I once met a man who was perfect for me in everyway, except in the bedroom. I still think about him often and question whether or not we could have worked things out to our mutual satisfaction. But the bottom line is I was not about to settle then, and I'm not about to settle now.

 

Sometimes you just have to tell the guy you want to get f*cked, harder, deeper and faster and if he can not bring himself to connect with his passion for you to give you the sexual satisfaction you need and the hot and sweaty experiences your seeking than he should go take a seat on the bench and ride the pine.

 

We deserve a man who get f*ck us like an animal when we want to get laid. Dominate us, use us like a sex-toy and give us the orgasms we're seeking to enjoy.

 

always take in the needs of the partner when having sex. some like it playful some like iit rough. and some like whips and chains. than god ii stay away from whips and chains

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Stone Established Member

Stone

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And you are saying all of this because obviously you must think you are god's gift to men?

 

Really..... Now Really.... why would you assume I thought that?

 

Where am I? What has happened to this place? Do they not have mod's anymore? Is this what the great love shack has turned into? I have been a part of this community for almost 7 years, and have seen more personal attacks in this post alone than ever before. Why do you even bother to write anything if it is not helpful, productive, etc. Hummmm because the people who do that show major insecurities, obviously I don't have that issue.... I know I know I will get blasted for saying that. However post's like that are childish and rude.... go work on your own self esteem issues!!!

  • Author
Stone Established Member

Stone

Posted
  • Author
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Everybody has preferences. Stone has hers and I have mine and I believe she should not be criticized for being OPEN and HONEST about them. I was going to solicit some advice from this crowd too, but after reading various different posts, there is no doubt in my mind I will not receive fair treatment.

 

Memo to Stone: Sometimes we have to trust ourselves enough to know when something isn't working in our relationships and will not satisfy us unless it changes. I once met a man who was perfect for me in everyway, except in the bedroom. I still think about him often and question whether or not we could have worked things out to our mutual satisfaction. But the bottom line is I was not about to settle then, and I'm not about to settle now.

 

Sometimes you just have to tell the guy you want to get f*cked, harder, deeper and faster and if he can not bring himself to connect with his passion for you to give you the sexual satisfaction you need and the hot and sweaty experiences your seeking than he should go take a seat on the bench and ride the pine.

 

We deserve a man who get f*ck us like an animal when we want to get laid. Dominate us, use us like a sex-toy and give us the orgasms we're seeking to enjoy.

 

Thanks Dear, I agree, I am in control of every single part of my life, my career, children etc... I don't want to be the dom in the bedroom.. I appreicate your comment... we will fight the crowd togeather :) LOL

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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Really..... Now Really.... why would you assume I thought that?

 

Where am I? What has happened to this place? Do they not have mod's anymore? Is this what the great love shack has turned into? I have been a part of this community for almost 7 years, and have seen more personal attacks in this post alone than ever before. Why do you even bother to write anything if it is not helpful, productive, etc. Hummmm because the people who do that show major insecurities, obviously I don't have that issue.... I know I know I will get blasted for saying that. However post's like that are childish and rude.... go work on your own self esteem issues!!!

my first week here and i already see this place is full of rude people with no respect.

 

just ignore people like those. those who insult others without provication are nothing more than fools

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Stone Established Member

Stone

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Thanks Nine I Agree :)

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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Thanks Nine I Agree :)
i try my best to help. i'm a nice guy for the most part. no need to get upset at a few people you meet on the net calling you bad things. these people would probobly never say any of those things to your face because they know you cant shove your hand through your screen and strangle them and they are too cowardly to deal with the reprecussions face to face.
BobSacamento Established Member

BobSacamento

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It seems like there is no communication. Is that the issue? Maybe he isn't aware there is a problem. I mean if he thinks you are satisfied why do anything different?

 

All I saw were a bunch of "He should"s.

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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It seems like there is no communication. Is that the issue? Maybe he isn't aware there is a problem. I mean if he thinks you are satisfied why do anything different?

 

All I saw were a bunch of "He should"s.

have a talk with him bout his preformance. it might help

btc8 Established Member

btc8

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I have been dating the NICEST guy, he is amazing adores me... Bla Bla Bla however he SUCKS in bed I mean bad, he is still the "nicest guy" in the bedroom.... I want to work on this relationship but he is not picking up on the ques and at this point is intimidated and is starting to complain that I use him for sex (LOL I am trying to train im!!)

 

How do you break it gently that he isn't hitting it?

 

If you're dissatisfied with your sex life from him, then you are not effectively communicating what it is you want from him. You can drop cues or subtleties, but you will accomplish nothing unless you tell him and show him.

 

You and he may not be compatible sexually. His version of sex may not be what you enjoy. If sex is important enough to you to overlook his rather redeeming qualities (as you infer them to us) after you've communicated your desires to him, then you owe it at least to him to break up with him and stop wasting his time.

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Stone Established Member

Stone

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I agree, we have diffrent views, we are not compatible, But there has got to be a nice way to tell him.. he is going to ask why? What he did etc. He is great to me and tries very hard outside of the bedroom to make me happy. I don't want to bruise his ego in anyway, and he deserve's to know the truth. Saying I am breaking up with you because we are not "sexually compatible" has got to be hurtful and he deserves better than that, maybe better than me. I just don't want to hurt him, I am going to have to just verbally confront the issue and see what happens, I have given all the signs. I do feel very shallow however being frustrated sexually is just pulling me away from him...

SoulSearch_CO Established Member

SoulSearch_CO

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Stone - I'm a touch person. I express (and feel) love through touch. Sex is definitely a part of that. It's a chance for me to feel emotionally connected in one of the deepest ways possible with my partner. It's a chance to completely let down my guard and let him see every flaw, every weird sex face, every awkward move - and love me anyway. I don't understand what's shallow about that. If the sex sucks, it makes it hard to connect as deeply as is possible.

 

Maybe explain what it is about sex that is important to you (kind of like how I explained it, but maybe your reasons are different) and that you feel like maybe you're not the right person for him. That he could get a much better whole relationship experience with somebody that shared his sexual views. Especially if he makes comments that you're just using him for sex when you're only trying to improve the experience for both of you.

 

I don't think it's fair to call yourself shallow. A guy with a higher sex drive than you would have dumped a girl the third time getting it on if she "sucked at sex" and it would have been viewed as perfectly normal because he's just a guy. :rolleyes: One guy in another thread even admitted that "guys are pigs" and would stay with a girl they couldn't stand just because the sex was good. Good heavens. At least you're not in that boat. Then I WOULD call you shallow. :laugh:

prettybaby Established Member

prettybaby

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How long have you guys been having sex? If it's less than 5 or 6 months, then this seems a little over the top:

 

OK Let me break it down, I've tried on the naughty school girl, nurse and teacher outfit, talked smack, toys, public places etc and he is just not the "type" to lay it down, he won't even say as he calls the "P" word out loud... I've even offered to bring in a girlfriend..... Yes it's that bad, we are going to have to sit down and have the "talk" meaning it's you, step up your game or I'm out....

 

Kinda have to put yourself in his shoes. He doesn't have a lot of varied experience in bed, obviously. You should go easy with your partner and slowly get him to open up at his own pace. I'm sure he'd ease up eventually, but those things take time. If you pulled out this whole list (including a threesome - wtf :confused:) in a recent relationship, then I'm not surprised he's kind overwhelmed and probably turned off too.

 

The thing that stands out in your posts is how little you really seem to care about his feelings. Can't you put your own sexual needs aside for just a little while and slowly work on things together until he gets there?

boldjack Established Member

boldjack

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Stone, What are you seeking here? Validation for your opinion, Info on the easiest/kindest way to dump this guy. What? If your posts are any indication, maybe you have trouble being patient. You have shown this man very little respect , you talk about him like he was your pet.( you train dogs and slaves, you teach people) I don't know you, and maybe I don't have enough info, but I see you(from your posts) as a very demanding person. This is not a bad thing, but it lends itself to being misunderstood. That's why I would like clarification as to your purpose. If you are wondering if you and this man are compatible, obviously not.

The Collector Established Member

The Collector

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It's obvious what this guys problem is. He ****s like a little girl. The OP (tell me if I'm wrong) wants her hair pulled a bit, thrown around the bed, different positions, some masculine dominance. If he can't even say the 'P' word at 35 years old, there is possibly no hope for him.

mr.dream merchant Established Member

mr.dream merchant

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How long have you guys been having sex? If it's less than 5 or 6 months, then this seems a little over the top:

 

 

 

Kinda have to put yourself in his shoes. He doesn't have a lot of varied experience in bed, obviously. You should go easy with your partner and slowly get him to open up at his own pace. I'm sure he'd ease up eventually, but those things take time. If you pulled out this whole list (including a threesome - wtf :confused:) in a recent relationship, then I'm not surprised he's kind overwhelmed and probably turned off too.

 

The thing that stands out in your posts is how little you really seem to care about his feelings. Can't you put your own sexual needs aside for just a little while and slowly work on things together until he gets there?

 

Whenever PrettyBaby posts, my hope for LoveShack comes back.

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

Posted
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Anyways there are certian rules that should be followed in bed like NEVER cum before a woman

 

LMFAO!!! I can see why now your husband may be apprehensive or set in his ways. Something tells me you berate him about sex.

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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Really..... Now Really.... why would you assume I thought that?

 

Well geez, just read your own posts. you have rules about when a man does what and when...saying your H sucks in bed as if you are fantastic.

 

so I have to ask, when will you be cheating on him?

 

 

Where am I? What has happened to this place? Do they not have mod's anymore?

 

mods don't remove posts just because you simply don't like what is said in them. If someone calls you a name, sure, alert them, that would be unacceptable.

 

 

 

Is this what the great love shack has turned into? I have been a part of this community for almost 7 years, and have seen more personal attacks in this post alone than ever before.

 

Well maybe you might want to examine your posts and words. They obviously commanded some sort of disdain. As the old saying goes, "is it everyone else that has a problem, or just me?"

 

 

Why do you even bother to write anything if it is not helpful, productive, etc. Hummmm because the people who do that show major insecurities

 

Nope, none whatsoever. there isn't a sex session where my SO doesn't orgasm. I just don't have to worry about her putting "rules" on sex and expecting selfish outcomes. "The man should never CUM before the woman"! Maam yes maam!!!

 

Geez, with rules and pressure like that, I feel for your H.

 

 

obviously I don't have that issue

 

The issue you have is with your "rules". I bet your husband feels badly, whether he shows it or not, because I bet he is beaten down somehow over this. Don't say you don't. Because I'm sure you have engraved your "rules" into his brain since you felt the need to state them here as well.

 

 

.... I know I know I will get blasted for saying that. However post's like that are childish and rude.... go work on your own self esteem issues!!!

 

Mine are fine, what you need to work on is your husband's self esteem, because I am sure you are tearing him down with your attitude.

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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Everybody has preferences. Stone has hers and I have mine and I believe she should not be criticized for being OPEN and HONEST about them.

 

Being open and honest is fine. But something tells me that she criticizes her husband and he probably feels like a mouse. I know she will probably say she doesn't, but I think she needs to step back and take a look at how she treats him over this.

Because something tells me she doesn't tell her husband, when she didn't get to "cum", that she tells him its ok.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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Stone, you and your b/f appear to have sexual needs that are a distance apart. You've already taken the initiative to spice things up and yet, he can't seem to meet your needs.

 

It also appears that serious chemistry is lacking in your relationship. Sex is very important in a relationship.

 

I don't think this is worthwhile. In expecting or pushing someone beyond their comfort level with sexuality, can badly inhibit.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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