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The Sex Sucks

Stone

By Stone
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Stone Established Member

Stone

Posted
Posted

I have been dating the NICEST guy, he is amazing adores me... Bla Bla Bla however he SUCKS in bed I mean bad, he is still the "nicest guy" in the bedroom.... I want to work on this relationship but he is not picking up on the ques and at this point is intimidated and is starting to complain that I use him for sex (LOL I am trying to train im!!)

 

How do you break it gently that he isn't hitting it?

Sam Spade Established Member

Sam Spade

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What is he doing (or not) to upset you so much?

I've found - through trial and error, lots of error, :o - that most women seem to prefer rougher, rather than *overly* sweet/sensitive hanky panky, but other than that, it ain't rocket science. Just directly saying what you want will work just fine...

mr.dream merchant Established Member

mr.dream merchant

Posted
Posted
I have been dating the NICEST guy, he is amazing adores me... Bla Bla Bla however he SUCKS in bed I mean bad, he is still the "nicest guy" in the bedroom.... I want to work on this relationship but he is not picking up on the ques and at this point is intimidated and is starting to complain that I use him for sex (LOL I am trying to train im!!)

 

How do you break it gently that he isn't hitting it?

 

Are you just laying there like a corpse and taking it? Or are you taking the initiative to spice the sex up? Maybe get on top of him and ride his dick until its sore. The effort to make sex great is required from the both of you. Take the initiative and learn him a thing or two. Tell him to slap your ass. Call you dirty names. Pound it until he blackens your labia. I dunno.

laRubiaBonita Established Member

laRubiaBonita

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just start it out like so....'what really gets me goose if this......' then SHOW him where to touch, lick, kiss, rub.....etc...

 

guys are visual, and even if he doesn't get it totally the first showing.... he will pick it up quick AND enjoy watching you show him how.

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Stone Established Member

Stone

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OK Let me break it down, I've tried on the naughty school girl, nurse and teacher outfit, talked smack, toys, public places etc and he is just not the "type" to lay it down, he won't even say as he calls the "P" word out loud... I've even offered to bring in a girlfriend..... Yes it's that bad, we are going to have to sit down and have the "talk" meaning it's you, step up your game or I'm out....

 

How would one start that conversation,regardless if we stay togeather or not, he needs to know... he will have this issue with other ladies.... ( maybe this is why he is single) hummmm:bunny: It's a shame he really is a great guy. I think I intimidate him a bit, he was married to his high school sweetheart for 10 years, however his ship may have sailed. :(

soserious1 Established Member

soserious1

Posted
Posted
OK Let me break it down, I've tried on the naughty school girl, nurse and teacher outfit, talked smack, toys, public places etc and he is just not the "type" to lay it down, he won't even say as he calls the "P" word out loud... I've even offered to bring in a girlfriend..... Yes it's that bad, we are going to have to sit down and have the "talk" meaning it's you, step up your game or I'm out....

 

How would one start that conversation,regardless if we stay togeather or not, he needs to know... he will have this issue with other ladies.... ( maybe this is why he is single) hummmm:bunny: It's a shame he really is a great guy. I think I intimidate him a bit, he was married to his high school sweetheart for 10 years, however his ship may have sailed. :(

 

If this is a new relationship and you've tried all those things, I would say that the two of you just aren't a match sexually. IMHO, these things seldom get better, if you do decide to end the relationship though telling him things like he's ship has sailed or that he'll have problems with other women is rather excessive. Just say that you are not having the kind of bedoom chemistry with him that would sustain you over the long term.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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is starting to complain that I use him for sex

 

What kind of guy complains about this ?.... geez.. what a putz..

 

 

Stone.. just SHOW him how to hit it... grab his ass cheeks while he is pumping you and pull him in and you control the speed..

 

Sit on his face and show him where you like it licked...

 

Sometimes you have to show the guy... I will say that you should only have to show him once though...

Cherished Established Member

Cherished

Posted
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Could he be gay and that's why his marriage didn't work out? Does he have any gay qualities?

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

Posted
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OK Let me break it down, I've tried on the naughty school girl, nurse and teacher outfit, talked smack, toys, public places etc and he is just not the "type" to lay it down, he won't even say as he calls the "P" word out loud... I've even offered to bring in a girlfriend..... Yes it's that bad, we are going to have to sit down and have the "talk" meaning it's you, step up your game or I'm out....

 

How would one start that conversation,regardless if we stay togeather or not, he needs to know... he will have this issue with other ladies.... ( maybe this is why he is single) hummmm:bunny: It's a shame he really is a great guy. I think I intimidate him a bit, he was married to his high school sweetheart for 10 years, however his ship may have sailed. :(

 

 

Go see a nice movie with him and afterwards, go grab coffee or something and on the way home, work it into your conversation.

Chicago_Guy Established Member

Chicago_Guy

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Could he be gay and that's why his marriage didn't work out? Does he have any gay qualities?

 

Geez, you think every man is gay! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2112474&postcount=182

 

 

If the OP really likes this guy, she should try to work with him on this. I'm still not sure what her complaint is that he's doing wrong. Don't most guys like it when the girl they like enjoys having sex with them and want to please the woman? Maybe she's into some weird stuff that is turning him off!

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

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hahaha... you always pull the gay thing.. WTF?.. have you no clue about men ?

 

Maybe its projection?

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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kama sutra

 

wonderful peice of literature. just reading the history part is interesting

neowulf Established Member

neowulf

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Sounds like you guys just aren't compatiable sexually. I think it really boils down to fundamental beliefs about sex. For some sex is contact sport, for others it's an expression of intimacy. You sound more like the former than the latter. No right or wrong here, just conflicting styles.

Cherished Established Member

Cherished

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It is a possibility. No reason to attack a very good possibility.

 

1. divorced and not good at sex

2. not really good at sex...whatsoever, as in doesn't even take a clue.

 

Gay?

YOU decide.

 

Yes, I do understand men and a man who was like she said....that possibility would be in my mind.

 

The guys who were rude and attacked me...what is YOUR problem??? Hit home?

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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why dose everyone have to be so rude.

 

anyways the guy might not have all that much experiance in the bedroom. thats a posibility

NINEBREAKER Established Member

NINEBREAKER

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why do u have to be such a douche bag? turn those sunglasses in you mouth sideways and stick them straight up your a ss.

dang. whats your problem.

c-riouz Established Member

c-riouz

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He's probably suffering from the Madonna / Whore complex. Good riddance.

Enema Established Member

Enema

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He's been married to a woman for 10 years.

 

A decade of sex suited specifically for his ex-wife. Well surprise, you like different things than she did.

 

You can't drop hints, you need to sit down and tell him straight up what you need from him to make this work.

SoulSearch_CO Established Member

SoulSearch_CO

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It sounds like you've already done what can be done and he's just not getting it. I'm going to join with the "just not sexually compatible" opinion. You have to decide if you can just deal with his style of doing things or not.

AnthonyF Established Member

AnthonyF

Posted
Posted
OK Let me break it down, I've tried on the naughty school girl, nurse and teacher outfit, talked smack, toys, public places etc and he is just not the "type" to lay it down, he won't even say as he calls the "P" word out loud... I've even offered to bring in a girlfriend..... Yes it's that bad, we are going to have to sit down and have the "talk" meaning it's you, step up your game or I'm out....

 

How would one start that conversation,regardless if we stay togeather or not, he needs to know... he will have this issue with other ladies.... ( maybe this is why he is single) hummmm:bunny: It's a shame he really is a great guy. I think I intimidate him a bit, he was married to his high school sweetheart for 10 years, however his ship may have sailed. :(

 

You've done all that and he still is lost??? I bet you he is intimidated and completely scared sh*tle**....

 

I see completely mismatched views about sex and what needs to be done... If you have done so much and he still does not try or know not how to bring the A game it is over.

 

Say something to him or say goodbye....

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Stone Established Member

Stone

Posted
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He's probably suffering from the Madonna / Whore complex. Good riddance.

 

OOOOKKK you couldn't have just kept clicking, you obviously have no clue and therefore shouldn't comment...

 

 

Anyways there are certian rules that should be followed in bed like NEVER cum before a woman, Sorry is not acceptable,if you receive oral be prepared to give some,... and know how.:o

 

I realize after 10 years of marriage you only get the occasional special occasion sex, you develop a routine however he caught his wife having an affair, I do not think that is acceptable however this is not a new problem for him... He is only 35 he should be trainable but he is not cooperative. I agree not everyone is compatible sexually and it is a shame, he truley is a great guy, I hate to lose him over sex... But in my opinion it is one of the most important parts of a relationship.

 

We are going out for lunch I will let you know what happens because I have to bring it up

c-riouz Established Member

c-riouz

Posted
Posted
He is only 35 he should be trainable but he is not cooperative.

 

Your attitude is repulsing. He's not your damn dog. :confused: And he probably senses that pressure and feels insecure and uncomfortable with you.

Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

Posted
Posted

Anyways there are certian rules that should be followed in bed like NEVER cum before a woman, Sorry is not acceptable,if you receive oral be prepared to give some,... and know how.:o

 

Have you shared those rules. It really sounds like you just suck at sex and your expecting him to make up for it.

 

You can't expect other people to make up for your shortcomings. (No pun intended)

 

I realize after 10 years of marriage you only get the occasional special occasion sex, you develop a routine however he caught his wife having an affair, I do not think that is acceptable however this is not a new problem for him... He is only 35 he should be trainable but he is not cooperative. I agree not everyone is compatible sexually and it is a shame, he truley is a great guy, I hate to lose him over sex... But in my opinion it is one of the most important parts of a relationship.

We are going out for lunch I will let you know what happens because I have to bring it up

 

I have yet to hear any solid examples of where this guy is actually failing. So far all I have read is your total failure to communicating your desires effectively.

mr.dream merchant Established Member

mr.dream merchant

Posted
Posted
Have you shared those rules. It really sounds like you just suck at sex and your expecting him to make up for it.

 

You can't expect other people to make up for your shortcomings. (No pun intended)

 

 

 

I have yet to hear any solid examples of where this guy is actually failing. So far all I have read is your total failure to communicating your desires effectively.

 

From the sound of it this is what I'm getting also.

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Stone Established Member

Stone

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Whatever, this used to be a very cool place to post, have not been back for YEARS now I see it's just a place to attack people.... No wonder many great posters have left.

 

I am confident in bed, that obviously repulses people here, my communication skills are fine, we are just not compatible. Whatever he is doing or not doing just doesn't light my fire, like dancing not everyone has the same beat. (Sigh) for you who posted smart ass remarks It's clear I asked for your 2 cents, you can take it back no use for it, Have a WONDERFUL day and get some class :)

 

Everyone else thanks for your advise, I have decided I am going to back off a bit, but some distance between us and take it from there.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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