Zorie Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 After corresponding with someone online and over the telephone for a couple of weeks we decided to get together and meet. We had an "okay" time it was a casual date. We shared lots of conversation, but I did not feel like he was into me AT ALL or that we really made a connection. At the end of the date he walked me halfway to my car, gave me an "awkward" hug (felt like it was out of obligation) and then hesitated for a second before saying "ok well... I'll give you a call during the week" so I walked away thinking yeah right lol there's no way im hearing from this one... which btw I'm ok with because I at this point in life I don't go on dates with any expectations other than to have a nice evening out with hopes of meeting someone new and interesting. THEN - last night I got a hello text from him!?! wth!?! I'm posting this because I'm just curious if this guy is just keeping me on the radar because he's not meeting anyone better, or if he's just trying to be courteous? I sent a quick response and didnt hear anything else back, why bother? lol argh... dating is so confusing
samspade Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "Hello" text? That sounds pretty weak. I'd say you're right, he's trying to keep you on his radar. If there was no connection, you might as well ignore him or tell him you're no longer interested. If I had to guess, I'd say most of his dates are awkward. It's not that hard to keep things light and fun on a first date, even if attraction isn't there.
BobSacamento Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I don't know. I don't see what's wrong with what happened. The first meeting is always brutal. My main goal is to not scare the woman away lol. So going in for a kiss or even a hug might not happen unless it's blatantly obvious she wants one. If I were you I'd text him back and go on a real date. If it's awkward and painful, end it.
Mahatma Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 I agree with bob. I do not think you can really judge someone fully on date one. I think you should just stop over thinking it. You say you have no expectations, yet here you are posting and asking about some particulars from the first date and aftermath. Just sit back and see what happens.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 I don't know. I don't see what's wrong with what happened. The first meeting is always brutal. My main goal is to not scare the woman away lol. So going in for a kiss or even a hug might not happen unless it's blatantly obvious she wants one. If I were you I'd text him back and go on a real date. If it's awkward and painful, end it. LOL! I wish I had known this prior to my first date with my BF. I thought he just wasn't interested. Turns out he was just shy and as you put it - trying to not scare me off.
prettybaby Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 So he texted hello and what exactly did you text back? It sounds to me like you could have been a little too pessimistic about this and maybe your reaction (starting from the walk back to the car to the last text you sent him), could have given him the impression that you were actually the one who wasn't too thrilled about the whole thing. I suppose this is someone you don't know super well yet, so you could very well not know him well enough to be able to judge his behavior accurately. Which is why it's important to stay neutral and open minded in the very beginning. And it's easy to show some negative vibes without realizing it when you're in that mind frame of "oh well, screw it, he doesn't seem interested". Why do you assume so quickly that he's only texting you because he hasn't found anybody better since your date? Do you have such a negative image of yourself? lol That being said, were you interested in him at all? It sounds like you were so so about him anyway. So if that's the case, I wouldn't even worry about his motives right now ...
Author Zorie Posted April 7, 2009 Author Posted April 7, 2009 I think you should just stop over thinking it. You say you have no expectations, yet here you are posting and asking about some particulars from the first date and aftermath. Oh don't get me wrong it doesnt matter to me if he was interested or not or if anything even comes out of this. Perhaps he was very shy, but throughout the night he took very little interest in anything I had to say and did not ask me a single question not to mention the hesitation at the end before saying well... <10 sec pause> I'll call you during the week... that is why I got the impression he wasn't interested. I'm no dating expert but on dates I've been on where there is mutual interest there has always been a little more excitement about future contact or dates lol. I was merely curious if his behavior and the hello text was common practice amongst those who may want to keep someone around "just in case" of course I can't judge him based on one date and I would probably go out with him again just to give it a fair chance in case he was just shy but I when he texted me the hello I replied: "hi, hows your weekend going?" all I got back was a "great, just watching tv" so i just left it at that...
DarkestDreams Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I'm not really a shy person, but even if I'm interested in someone on the first date I still won't do the hug/kiss/holding hands stuff. I guess it takes me more than one date to warm up to the person. Maybe your guy is the same as well. I agree that the "Hello" text was a pretty weak move, especially since he said he'd call. I personally hate it when guys say they'll call and then text you, it feels like they're too scared to get rejected or something. The answer to your text was pretty weak as well, doesn't really seem he wanted to continue the conversation. That or he really sucks at it. From where I'm standing, it doesn't seem he's all that interested.
BobSacamento Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 He didn't even ask how your weekend was going? What a dip**** lol
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