JaneS Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Hi all....guess I'm still chewing on my problem...this is in relation to an earlier post today http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t185157/ I ended a 3 year relationship last Summer which was unfortunately to do with depression on my ex boyfriend's part. I tried SO hard and know now that I stayed in the relationship far too long; no intimacy for 2 years, ups and downs etc. I did so much research on the illness post relationship and am fully aware of how devastating it is for sufferer and those around. I decided to take a holiday (group adventure) last August to get away from it all. Met some great people but really seemed to connect with one - although unbeknownst to both of us, we both liked one another. We stayed in touch from time to time and he contacted me on Valentine's Day to confess all about how he thought I was 'cute' and would like to meet for a date.... Six dates later........the info in my previous post says it all...whilst I am cautious about the depression side of things (having been through so much before) I still would not judge the guy who I am currently dating. It does worry me however, that he seems to be very indecisive about little things at the mo (he has said he is feeling bad at the mo). More concerning is the fact that he has alllowed his mother to dictate plans for our holiday. I am not sure what to do on this one....please help. Is he still interested or not?
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Based on the previous post, it kind of sounds like he's letting "mummy" direct him right now. With his depression, this could make sense. Like he's looking for a foot/handhold and his mother is offering that support. I would guess that his mother brought up the thing about fighting - needing to leave, and she probably told him that everyday contact was too much. While I wouldn't immediately trash him, I'd go on the holiday with him and have a discussion about it. It's possible that he expressed some kind of hesitance about the holiday with his mother and she told him ways to handle it. Who knows. But I'd say if he doesn't open up to you on the holiday that this might not be worth it. I couldn't be in relationship with a man that excluded me like that.
Author JaneS Posted April 7, 2009 Author Posted April 7, 2009 Thanks for your words SoulSearch...appreciate you helping my mind to stop whizzing so much!.....it does sound as though his Mum was speaking through him yesterday. Such a shame as things had been going relatively well lately. I will wait for him to contact me about the countryside holiday now. Whilst I have yet to see if contact is cut off until later in the week, I find this really bizarre. How can you possibly get to know someone if communication is via text and calls once or twice a week (especially given the 3 hour distance between us)? I am very wary now and feel negative about the whole thing.....that old cliche comes to mind....time will tell.
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