BlueHarvest Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 So for those of you who remember me, I'm back! I decided that despite all the wonderful advice I could possibly have gotten the past 5-6 Months with this relationship, the best thing for me to do was to try and figure things out on my own. Until now. For a little background history: Been dating her since Halloween (No joke! ) I'm turning 25 in two weeks, she just turned 24. We know alot of stuff about each other, but I still feel like I don't know *enough* about her (that's a good sign right? Wanting to know more about her.) So to recap...things been going ok. This is honestly the first relationship I can count in months rather than weeks. It feels awesome to have such a good rapport with someone. Only fluke I had was back around valentines day (not on it) I asked her if she would 'officially' be my girlfriend, as childish as it may sound...and she had said she wanted to keep the relationship open and see where it went. I said that was fine (even though in all honesty I was very dissapointed.) We have continued to hang out and date, though our relationship hasn't really gone physical yet. We make out but that's about it. Current Situation So recently I realize that she is slightly jealous of my job (I don't know why)...even though it sucks because it's retail. I guess cause she found out that I make out twice as much as her...and I'm a college dropout and she is the one with a B.A. in Art History. (Not even going to go there unless someone brings it up ... ) Our communication could definitely use some work, but at 6 months into dating...I figure it's time to re-visit my conversation I had with her back in February. About becoming more serious. I figure that after 6 months you realize whether or not you want a relationship to continue with someone. Reading a few posts here, I think she is definitely suffering from the Turbulent Twenties (post-college depression, reality checks in relation to the real world). I may be suffering too but from a different perspective (wishing I had a college degree to make progression in the world easier, where she is wishing she could find a job for her very niche degree) I like her alot, despite her flaws, I still think she is great! So anyways...the big BIG issue I realized might have some roots in why I've been feeling like the relationship isn't failing but it's kind of hung up somewhere... I found out yesterday she was Diagnosed with NVLD (Nonverbal Learning Disorder.) For those who wish to participate in this discussion read this first: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_learning_disorder It makes sense. I'm pretty sure she was embarressed about it because on the phone while talking she said and I quote: "When I was in college my mom wanted me to get disability insurance because I had diagnosed NVLD. But that doesn't matter...<very quickly changes topic>." She exemplifies many of the traits (positive and negatives) that are listed for it. My issue is I don't know how to proceed. I still like her, it hasn't turned me off. In fact it explains alot. But for me, it feels like she has a shell up. She still lives with her parents, works maybe 20 hours a week at her job even though she wants to move out. I understand she is under alot of pressure to get a better job by her mother, and to probably move out too...now that I think about it. I'm trying to be there for her. And our conversation yesterday ended on a good note: Her: "I'm glad you called though, sorry I hadn't called I've been busy" Me: "It's ok, I'm glad you called though, talking to you always brightens my day" Her: "Well I'm glad that I can do that for you" Me: "Yea, it's a good feeling knowing someone cares for you." Her: "Yup, I've got Apache Chief here to care for me. <She Laughs> Just Kidding, I was talking about you." Don't ask about the Apache Chief thing...it's one of her fetishes...lol, I got it for her Birthday. Back on track though. For me it's like the relationship is there, just kind of faltering due to circumstances out of my control. How do I counter our combined social ineptitudes. I'm no Don Suave and despite my best attempts at reading non-verbal communication I know I can be dense at times. But it feels like this NVLD is just another bump in the road to creating a stronger relationship. I just don't know how to hurdle it. I want our relationship to go to the next level (emotionally as well as physically) and I think that 6 months is plenty of time to stay at the first level. Most couples I know move past that within half the time. Thanks for your responses ahead of time!
Author BlueHarvest Posted April 7, 2009 Author Posted April 7, 2009 Hate bumping my own topic... but cmon...NOONE has any thing to comment, or question, or add to the post? Don't be shy!
Author BlueHarvest Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 WOW! No replies at all. Well...guess I'll necro it for a little while longer.
LovieDove24 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I think the lack of responses is due to length and the amount of time you spend within it trying to self diagnose everything. Your girlfriend may suffer from NVLD or whatever but it seems like you suffer from OAD, over-analyzing disorder. Seriously though, what on earth could she still be keeping things "open" for after 4 or 5 months of dating you? At that point its time to either put up or shut up in my opinion. I understand you want to have a successful, lengthy relationship but if things are so darn complicated its time to take a step back. Sounds to me like she isn't fully in it.
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 LD is right. If she won't go exclusive after 6 months... it means she doesn't like you that much. You should start seeing other women.
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