Darth Vader Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Exactly. For his sake, I hope he does, and very soon!
Author TryingtoGoOn Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 For his sake, I hope he does, and very soon! I am seeing and reading it all. Doesn't mean there are any easy answers. You are all of one opinion but there are others. I am thinking on all of this constantly. I appreciate all the input.
Darth Vader Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 We just don't want you to be in any way pushed into something that will not benefit YOU! Even if you want to try to save the marriage, that's your call, and we understand, but, perhaps wouldn't agree with you, to be honest. We want you to understand that your wife may have done or said certain things that were said or done to benefit her in carrying on with her affair. Even things she wore during her affair for OM(clothing, underwear, perfume, etc.), grooming, gifts, some things she may have gotten for you out of guilt of her affair, I mean hey, the list goes on and on. Are you seeing where I'm going? So many actions or whatever that were all just a lie. Others here could be more specific. We want you to have it all, not just part of the facts, no trickle truth!
Author TryingtoGoOn Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 [ So many actions or whatever that were all just a lie. We want you to have it all, not just part of the facts, no trickle truth That's the part that is do difficult to figure - separating the deception from the truth.
Darth Vader Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 [ So many actions or whatever that were all just a lie. We want you to have it all, not just part of the facts, no trickle truth That's the part that is do difficult to figure - separating the deception from the truth. Many of us agree, that's what we're trying to help you with as well. Including the intent of your wife posting on your Thread, see my meaning? She's already manipulated things to you about her screwing her OM, now it looks like she's trying to manipulate your own Thread. That's what all cheaters do, manipulate, twist, Lie! Yeah, I know, very confusing! The thing is, how does anyone here, including you, know for certain that she's not trying to do it again on you. I just remembered a Thread not so long ago in the OM/OW section about this one woman wanting to restore her marriage with her husband after she cheated on him, all the while, she was trying to Lie to all of us. Naturally yours truely saw through it! A little time passes, and her husband finds her Thread and posts his side of it all! Come to find out, she was still seeing her OM! The hubby was done with her!!
jnj express Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 If you would, how about an update as to what is happening, so if you wish we can further give you advice, and any help possible.
Author TryingtoGoOn Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 If you would, how about an update as to what is happening, so if you wish we can further give you advice, and any help possible. Holding pattern and thinking. We are all away. She is visiting her parents with the kids. I am at a conference for work. We all head home tomorrow. I have spent most of the week pretty angry and frustrated with the whole situation. As I walk around this city as a visitor and see what appears to be thousands of happy couples (who knows what is really happening in their lives), I question how my wife and I could ever get back to that point. How can I sit across a restaurant table from her and not think about the betrayal? We talk nightly but not easy with kids and parents around. Parents do not know and we have gone back and forth about telling them. Parents live across the country and therefore are unlikely to be of great help as we go through this. Tomorrow we all head home and back to our "normal" lives. I look forward to seeing the kids, I'll be happy to see my wife. Not sure what comes next.
klarika Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Hello, I believe it is very easy to advice you that you should move on. And, very difficult to do. I also think that perhaps there is not the time for decisions, yet. What about if you and your wife start to behave more like ...when you first met...perhaps no sex for a while, perhaps not sleeping together, perhaps a bit of distance will help you cope with your feelings better. I understand you probably feel overwhelmed of the situation and of the fac that you are expected to still show love to her when she hurt you so much. This is a contradiction that, if you want to stay in the marriage, I believe it should be solved by taking care of yourself first, with your wife understanding it and supporting it. Good luck.
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