My boyfriend broke up with me and I think its over something so stupid!

[heatherbadeather]

I've been dating this guy for almost a year and I can say he is the most amazing person ever.. We get alone PERFECTly and we fight maybe every now and then over stupid things. We had a very good relationship with being honest to eachother and we always talked our problems out until the other day.. he told me he was going to visit a female freind at college. Which i was ok with everyone has friends. Until he told me he was sleeping up there. Well then I got a lil mad.. and we fought. H etold me how He can

t be with someone who doesn't trust him and said it was over. First off I know he wouldnt do anythign to hurt me. And I know he wouldnt cheat on me. Its not the fact of trust. I just simply disliked him staying at another girls house. Im freaking out I don't want this to end. He keeps telling me how much he was happy and how he still cares about me. Im more confused then anything in the world. If everything was so perfect why throw it away over a stupid fight? He told me... that he doesnt wanna be together b.c i think diff than him.. but everything thinks diff of eachother thats life. Help me please I dont wanna lose him He is the best thing ever.. I don't understand maybe if i dont talk to him do you think he will realize what he did was a mistake?

[chelsey]

he probably picked a dumb fight to justify to himself what he was doing.

 

tsk tsk ignoring him until he come crawling is not the strategy you need. by making you jealous he is keeping you faithful. he knows that mentioning other girls will keep you up at night thinking of HIM while after fighting he's going to go hang with female friends to SPITE you.

 

does he give you foder for fights often? it's one thing to pick fights frequently, it's another to do or say things that you know your partner will get upset about. it shifts the blame for staring the fight to you and makes you look like the bad guy for starting a fight when he's the one doing something wrong, therefore "justifying" his bad behavior.

 

do not let him manipulate you and keep you wrapped around his finger, especially at a distance. LDR rarely work out in college unless you see each other every weekend, find out if his college friends even know about you and see if he's just doing what he wants and keeping you around until he finds someone closer.

[heatherbadeather]

He already broke up with me.. I just don't want it to be over. All of his freinds knew about me or from what I know they did. I know its hard to reply if you don't know the person very well.. but out of all of my relationships and i had some crappy ones.. He is the most honest guy ive met He is caring and.. we just had everything going for us. We were fine the same day he broke up with me. He still talks to me.. and he says that he still cares for me. And that its hard to see me, if i woudl come over. This is all happening right now. He only broke up with my friday.. But im confused.. If youw ere that happy why throwe it all away just b.c I didnt like the fact you were gonna stay at a girls house. Its not about trust....its respect and he told me he can't be with me b.c we have differeces in situations.. DUH everyone does thats life.

[Lucky_One]

First off I know he wouldnt do anythign to hurt me.

 

Well he has - twice. It hurt you that he was going to spend the night at another girl's place. He also hurt you by breaking up with you instead of working this issue out as adults.

 

And I know he wouldnt cheat on me. Its not the fact of trust. I just simply disliked him staying at another girls house.

 

You can't have it both ways. If you trust him and if you know he wouldn't cheat on you, then why do you care where he stays? You are upset because you don't know that he won't cheat on you and because you don't trust him. If you did, he could stay at Hugh Hefner's house and it would be fine. There is a reason WHY you got upset about this.

[Lucky_One]

How far apart are you two, and how often do you see each other and for how long? Like - are you 2 hours apart and you spend every other weekend together? Or you have met once in person at the mall for a Saturday 8 months ago?

[Trialbyfire]

So he pushed your boundaries of reasonable behaviour in a relationship and when you balked, broke up with you. He'll be back. And you'll take him back. Then, he'll push those boundaries out a bit more and more each time.

 

Don't fear loss. Stand your ground. His behaviour is unacceptable. Not worth it girlfriend, if this is the game he's going to play.

[heatherbadeather]

We are together pretty much all the time He lives two mins from me.

[Lucky_One]

We are together pretty much all the time He lives two mins from me.

 

You know you posted in the "Long Distance Relationships" section? You might get more responses towards your situation in the "Breaking Up" forum.

[Island Girl]

So he pushed your boundaries of reasonable behaviour in a relationship and when you balked, broke up with you. He'll be back. And you'll take him back. Then, he'll push those boundaries out a bit more and more each time.

 

Don't fear loss. Stand your ground. His behaviour is unacceptable. Not worth it girlfriend, if this is the game he's going to play.

 

TBF is right.

 

If he came back to you and acknowledged that because you have a problem with where he sleeps it is his problem as well and your feelings should be considered.

 

But it doesn't sound like he has done this.

 

And you are still talking with him and giving him access to you so I doubt he will. Even if he would have -- he won't because you caved.

 

I would imagine if the situation was reversed and you were going to see some guy and spend the night at his house he wouldn't be thrilled.

Relationships are a two way street.

 

Your feelings are important. They should be of the utmost importance to you and they should be important to anyone who dates you.

 

If they aren't to him - and he could then add insult to injury by breaking up with you rather than addressing the problem - then you should move on.

 

Don't bother to look back.