JohnnyBlaze Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Those are three words that I have yet to say. Not that I don't want to, but I truthfully can't, and I envy those who can. When things go well, it's a personal victory. When things go bad, it's a personal defeat. There is no "this is business/this is personal" switch. It's all personal to me. Of course, at times, this is a good thing. Some victories and defeats are personal, and should be treated as such. But many aren't. Even if it affects me personally, not all negative things are meant as direct attacks on me. Logically, I know this, but I still take it personally anyway. And many times, they do have a negative impact on me. I'm trying to eliminate/minimize this, but it is proving to be difficult. Changing one's character is not an easy task. To those who can differentiate, how do you do it? Any tips or tricks?
carhill Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Care less. Ascribe less relevance to the other. Disconnect the emotion. LS has been a great workshop
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Those are three words that I have yet to say. Not that I don't want to, but I truthfully can't, and I envy those who can. When things go well, it's a personal victory. When things go bad, it's a personal defeat. There is no "this is business/this is personal" switch. It's all personal to me. Of course, at times, this is a good thing. Some victories and defeats are personal, and should be treated as such. But many aren't. Even if it affects me personally, not all negative things are meant as direct attacks on me. Logically, I know this, but I still take it personally anyway. And many times, they do have a negative impact on me. I'm trying to eliminate/minimize this, but it is proving to be difficult. Changing one's character is not an easy task. To those who can differentiate, how do you do it? Any tips or tricks? I can now I use to be a very overly caring person who couldn't hurt a fly now I can switch it off and on when needed I can be ice cold. My secret to disconnecting you ask? years of being in a extremely abusive relationship now that I'm out Ive realized I'm a very changed person...
Meaplus3 Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 You know I can relate. I'm a very caring person much like you sound and for people like us it can be real hard not to take things in a personal way. I think it all boils down to the way individuals are wired. For me what I do is simply try real hard not to care. I'm me, I'm a great person and I'm happy with the way I am. I don't not have to please everyone, nor do I have to compete to prove my self worth. It's what's on the inside that count's..on the inside of ones self. And never beat yourself for caring because IMO, it's a very sincere loving special quality. Mea:)
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