BobSacamento Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 So I have seeing this woman for about 3 weeks. The dates have gone well. Conversation is good and everything. No awkward moments and she doesn't seem to be a freak. She has a very pretty face and smile and is very funny. I have been over to her place twice and I can't seem to bring myself to put my hands on her. Like I don't have that physical attraction to her body. I feel so pathetically shallow but I feel if I go on any longer I might get in too deep. She's invited me over for dinner and stated that I can only eat if we cuddle lol. Like an idiot I panicked and said yes. We haven't set a day. Basically I want someone who when I look at them I want to fantasize about having sex with them. I thought maybe because we seem so compatible that that attraction might set in but so far nothing. So the question is am I pathetic shallow excuse for a man and should I bail? I feel like I'm leading her on.
westernxer Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 She's invited me over for dinner and stated that I can only eat if we cuddle lol. What the??? That is funny! Eat a lot more than usual, that way you can puke all over her blouse if she squeezes too tight (assuming her blouse is still buttoned). But don't bail until you've helped clean her up, and not in the bathtub. LOL
Author BobSacamento Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 Yeah it was pretty funny. The funny thing is I was actually going to make a conscience effort to make a move to see how I felt about it. But then she sent that second text stating we need to cuddle for me to eat. Now that she sent that I feel like it's going to be forced and I'll just be going through the motions. I want to feel that passion I guess.
Jaytb Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Any specific reason you don't want to get near her? Does she have cockroaches coming out of her ears?
westernxer Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Don't go if you don't feel it with her, unless you can go somewhere public where you won't have to cuddle.
Author BobSacamento Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 Any specific reason you don't want to get near her? Does she have cockroaches coming out of her ears? I don't feel attracted to her body. So if we started making out or something and it leads to something more intense I'm afraid I might be like "Eww".
monkey00 Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Perfectly normal if a girl has a pretty face and you don't want to be involved with her physically. Maybe you're just missing the lust aspect.
Author BobSacamento Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 What is it that you are not attracted to? Her body, she's overweight. The worst part is I used to be overweight. I feel like such a tool.
spookie Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 No, you are not a pathetic shallow excuse of a man. You should bail. If there is no chemistry, you're nothing more than friends. Don't lead her on. In my experience, chemistry arises from something more than just physical attraction. It CAUSES physical attraction, but it's separate from how you view someone's looks. You're not shallow for thinking it's missing, and you won't be able to force it.
westernxer Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Her body, she's overweight. The worst part is I used to be overweight. I feel like such a tool. At least you tried, and it's not like you're taking advantage of her for sex, which you could very easily do after a few drinks. Listen to your gut, even if it's smaller than it used to be.
Cherished Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Just tell her, during dinner, or before that, that you don't feel chemistry and don't feel what you should to continue dating. I say that to men I'm not interested in dating again and it is the truth. It usually gets a pretty friendly response and they respect my honesty. I actually do it by email, usually.
Author BobSacamento Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 Just tell her, during dinner, or before that, that you don't feel chemistry and don't feel what you should to continue dating. I say that to men I'm not interested in dating again and it is the truth. It usually gets a pretty friendly response and they respect my honesty. I actually do it by email, usually. Yeah I'm thinking of canceling the dinner date and emailing her telling her that. Not that I couldn't tell her in person I just wouldn't want her to throw the food she cooked for me into my face lol.
westernxer Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Yeah I'm thinking of canceling the dinner date and emailing her telling her that. Not that I couldn't tell her in person I just wouldn't want her to throw the food she cooked for me into my face lol. Yeah, stay away from the dinner part. She might pull out a steak knife.
rlindzie Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 no way are you shallow!!! you should get out while u still can without casuing too much distress. i mean if you dont feel it you dont feel it. i am the same way and i have tried to look past but it just prolonged the inevitable[hope i spelled that right ] good luck
Enema Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Make sure in your email you say, "You have a good looking face."
bac Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 There is no way to know what is the right thing to do exept to try it all. I mean the dinner and the sex with her. You never know about things like that before you try. After you try it and know the real facts, you can make the practical decision based on facts not on your expectations.
carhill Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I feel like such a tool. Well, there is that... Glad I don't suffer from Idontwanttotouchafatpersonitis I'll never forget the chunky babe who showed up at our wedding reception and almost made me forget I was married Be honest with her (that you don't feel attraction); likely she's as used to it as I became once I started losing my hair. Men don't have the lock on shallow
Sam Spade Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Yeah, you should urgently come up with some bull**** excuse and call it off... If you aren't attracted to her, there is no getting past that, but don't fall into the temptation to avoid the inevitable uncomfortable situation. (At least you know you're not attracted to her. I had a friend who deated a girl he liked (or so he thought), but she dressed unbelievably skillfully and strategically to disguise a man-like body, so when they eventually slept together, it was horrible...)
Author BobSacamento Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 Yeah, you should urgently come up with some bull**** excuse and call it off... If you aren't attracted to her, there is no getting past that, but don't fall into the temptation to avoid the inevitable uncomfortable situation. (At least you know you're not attracted to her. I had a friend who deated a girl he liked (or so he thought), but she dressed unbelievably skillfully and strategically to disguise a man-like body, so when they eventually slept together, it was horrible...) I can totally understand that.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I think it'd be a little harsh to agree to the dinner if she thinks she's going to get a cuddle out of it. LOL I agree with just discussing it with her and letting her know that you just don't feel a spark. No, I don't think you're shallow. Chemistry can't be forced.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Her body, she's overweight. The worst part is I used to be overweight. I feel like such a tool. Don't feel bad your a good man Bob for not taking advantage of her allot of other men would have. You def shouldn't feel bad for giving it a try you never know but now is the time to fess up and be 100% honest in the most tactful way you can. And if shes a mature women she will understand and appreciate it dating over weight people is not for every one she will find the right guy in time..
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Three weeks is long enough to lead her on. Back out of the dinner and let her down gently. You can't force yourself to be attracted to anyone. It's either there or it's not.
Author BobSacamento Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 Well let me just say, I was in contact with her on Sunday. So I decided to pull back a bit. I guess because I didn't contact her for 24 hours I was unfriended on FB LOL. I guess this was a little more serious than I thought. So glad I got out now.
yongyong Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 well I get disgusted by those extra belly fat, fatter hands, fatter toes, double chin. well if you are overweight like her, you should be flamed but I guess you are not anymore. I guess you hated those extra fats on you and decided to lose weight so that's why you can't be attracted to her.I understand if you even don't want to touch her, just cancel it. that would be helping her, trust me. Her body, she's overweight. The worst part is I used to be overweight. I feel like such a tool.
Recommended Posts