lonelypiscesguy Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I have been weak and have broken NC, as early as last night. We talked and she is still very sweet and pleasant. She called me "sweetheart" and "dear" on a few occasions when I have called, but she said last night she still gets mad when she thinks of the things I have done. I apologized for not giving her space and said "You know what I'm going through and I know you are going through this, too. I promise I will give you your space and privacy, no more calls or emails." I meant it, too. Are these good signs or is she just sparing my feelings, OR, worst case scenario, is she just stringing me along? I seriously don't think she is that type. I know I keep whining about this, but I haven't been this torn-up over a woman in over 10 years. I believe she is hurting, too, and I feel like crap for doing this to her. Thank you all, again.
Aerorobyn Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 We've all been torn up over a wo(man). That's probably a reason most of us are on this site, eh? You gave me some good advice the other day on my situation, and now I'm gonna try giving you some good advice...don't look too much into the whole "sweetheart" talk and all. It doesn't necessarily mean anything though... Until she's ready, and is able to forgive and forget or whatever, there wont be anything. The sorry's and stuff just wont work on some people! Which is too bad, because then a lot of us wouldn't be suffering like we are. Anyways, I think you've done all you can at this point. You've explained, apologized, etc. Do what you said: give her the space. Don't chase after her anymore...she'll come around if you mean(t) that much to her, or if you made any impression on her whatsoever. Eh..pretty logical advice, but it's true. Don't look too much into these things, because they just end up tearing you apart even more (they do me, anyways...) I wish you the best of luck
dismilla Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I agree completely with Aerorobyn... You can't look too much into the fact that she called you sweetheart etc, when I've spoken to my ex I've called him babe etc without even realising it out of pure habit! Obviously this might not be the case in your situation but just thought I'd put it out there. You definitely need to give her space and time to heal, just like you need. I'm only in just over a week of NC myself and it's ridiculously hard not to just pick up the phone or pop round to his just to say hi, but in the end I know all it'll do is bring me right back to square one and I can't handle it again! You both need a break from each other to figure out what you truly want to happen next. If you're in contact with one another so soon after splitting it will be near on impossible to grieve the loss of what you had together. Good luck and stay strong!
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 Thank you both. You're right and I'm already growing tired of the game. I made mistakes, she made 'em, get over over it or get gone! She is not the only woman out there. TY!
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted April 7, 2009 Author Posted April 7, 2009 I just wanted to give an update on my pathetic situation, if that's okay with everybody. I apologize if I am Bogarting too much time and space here. I had what we alcoholics call a moment of clarity early Sunday morning and realized that I am in fact an alcoholic. I have been to 3 meetings so far and boy was it n emotional time for me! As much as I have whined about losing my ex, I'm not prone to crying, but realizing and admitting for the first time that I have wasted 29 years of my life, that I drove 2 women that loved me dearly out of my life because of my alcoholism and the accompanying selfish, thoughtless behavior really got to me. Please believe me when I say that I am NOT doing this in a desperate, pathetic attempt to get my ex back, I just realized that I love having the love of a good woman and at this rate, unless I change, I will forever be driving women out of my life and will remain your humble servant, lonelypiscesguy. Wish me luck.
lostandinlove Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Hey, i know exactly where you are at, but even more confused than you. I still get emails, phone calls and text from her telling me she ;oves me and all that, and i am here in limbo trying to give her the space she says she needs and its very hard, so if you can offer me advice i would love to hear it
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 Hey, i know exactly where you are at, but even more confused than you. I still get emails, phone calls and text from her telling me she ;oves me and all that, and i am here in limbo trying to give her the space she says she needs and its very hard, so if you can offer me advice i would love to hear it Sorry, LOST, but I am DONE with her silly ass! It was 2 weeks yesterday and I have finally got through my thick skull that she is a nutbar and I will be better off finding someone who isn't such a drama queen and who doesn't waste my time with driving 6 hours to see her, only to be told that she wants me to "date her more and we'll have to hols off on the sex." I was kind of a jerk to her at times, I admit, but how does one expect to maintain a LDR with no intimacy? As to advice? What everybody else here suggests, strict NC until she proves to YOU that SHE is the one that has to prove HER worth to you. From now on, I have no intention of contacting my ex. She wants to play games she can buy Parker Brothers or Milton Bradley. I'm over her and I'm done! But good luck to you and do be good to yourself.
EmperorR Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Hey, i know exactly where you are at, but even more confused than you. I still get emails, phone calls and text from her telling me she ;oves me and all that, and i am here in limbo trying to give her the space she says she needs and its very hard, so if you can offer me advice i would love to hear it Give her all the space she wants dissappear, trust me ifyou treated her good, girls remember that, when their next joe blow doesnt give a crap about them
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