Pathetic

[DJMarky]

Wow, I feel pathetic today. I am still hurting over my ex who I haven't seen in 3 months. I don't know why. She was a HUGE bitch to me, no respect for me whatsoever but I loved her 110%. I loved her more than my other ex who I was with for 6 times longer.

 

I have had two set backs recently.

 

On my break at work I walked past a club and saw the stack of a free magazine that gets distributed every week. I opened it to check the section out that has photos from gigs and saw my ex with her new boyfriend. My heart sank.

 

Next set back. I went to a friends today, his facebook was logged in on his computer so I checked out her page (since I deleted her from my account - I shouldn't have checked I know) and saw she had the 'in a relationship with ****' on her profile. Wow, this really hurt.

 

For all that don't know, I started sleeping with her while she had a boyfriend. She was the one who sought after me, because she liked me, not vice versa (the guy she is with now was trying to hook up with her while we were dating - which doesn't make what I did any better). She then broke up with him and we started dating officially a month after. Things were great for a while, til she was stil stringing her ex a long and seeing him a lot, which I would have been fine with if she would have told him about me. She never did. I broke up with her because of it, she came crying back, we got back together, she was going to tell him, then the last week she ended up cheating on me with the guy she is with now, and I broke up with her. After that she called a lot, smsed saying she couldn't stop thinking about me, wanted to hang out, wanted me to add her back on facebook etc etc but I just ignored her phone calls (except when she called one time by private number) and messages. I then went traveling, she contacted me saying she missed me and wanted me back, I come back from overseas to find out she has been telling my brother's friends that we were never going out, which is so embarrassing. I ignore her, she then rubs in my face how she is ****ing this other guy, a long with other statements to try and hurt me as much as possible.

 

Anyways, I guess it hurt that after seeing this new guy for only a short time she had changed the facebook relationship, but for me she never did. I just want to contact her and ask her why she was so keen to have me back, saying all these things to me, then the next second is rubbing it in my face. Is this new guy just a rebound? She told me how she was bored of him and wanted me back, and the truth is if she actually apologised for everything and admitted that she screwed up, I would have taken her back, but it's just another disappointment after another. Regardless, I miss her SO much. I went out last night and a girl approached me and we started talking, but I still can't stop thinking of my bloody ex. IT IS SO PATHETIC. I can't have anything but emotion-less sex.

 

What is wrong? This is the first time I have ever experienced 'heartbreak' in my life, after 4 other relationships. What makes this girl so special? My other girlfriends were SO much better in every way, they adored me. Do I fall for bitches? AHHH! I am still doing NC and don't plan on breaking it, but I just want to ask her wtf is wrong with her!? The last email I sent her just said not to contact me again, and when she tried to I ignored the phone call. I think now that's the end of it. She seems happy with this new guy. She was such a bitch yet I seem so determined on dwelling on the times we had together. It ****ing blows. I don't want to think about her.

 

Don't really know what anyone can say, I guess I just wanted to rant.

[sedgwick]

There was someone on here once who wrote "you must treat your ex like a serial-killing stalker." You have to go out of your way to avoid seeing anything whatsoever about them. If you know that she or her ex plays gigs at a certain club, don't even walk past it. (I made that mistake a few weeks ago and accidentally saw my ex for the first time since he dumped me almost two years ago. Luckily I had the presence of mind to pretend I didn't see him and keep on walking.) And above all else, DO NOT LOOK AT HER FACEBOOK! You really do have to make an extra effort to avoid seeing anything that might remind you of her, and definitely don't seek it out!

 

I'm sorry that happened to you.

[akklavi]

Have to agree with sedgwick, though I know it's so much easier said than done! I'm in a similar situation of still having very strong feelings for the man who ended the relationship with me. I have to say though, your ex gf sounds like she's worthy of a star prize in the b**** department. And I think you are mourning the loss of who you imagine she 'could' be, rather than who she is. You say that despite everything, if she "actually apologised for everything and admitted that she screwed up, I would have taken her back". But you must know that that will never happen. Not with any sincerity on her part. As that would mean that she was a considerate and decent person, who cared about others' feelings. And sadly from all you say, her behaviours do not bear that out. The saying that actions speak louder than words is so true.

Really you deserve much better than some self-serving b**** who cheats, lies, manipulates, and generally cares nothing for who she tramples on. You severely need to move on, no more facebook, avoid anything to do with her, get your self-respect back!

 

Sorry if I sound harsh (and that this is so long :-) but all this is what I tell myself when I start feeling exactly that way that you've described. So good luck, keep writing on these boards, and you will get through this!

[DJMarky]

Sedgwick (without an e! ) - It's going to be hard to avoid her forever, especially since we go to the same events from time to time. I just can't believe I still feel this weird feeling in my stomach when I think of her with that new guy. I shouldn't care. This girl is not marriage material. She is a manipulative whore. I should be happy ffs! I avoided marrying a girl who would leave me at the drop of the hat as soon as she found a new guy to seek out. My mind has run through this a million times, yet I can't seem to be happy about it all. I am going to avoid her like the plague, but so far it doesn't make it seem any better. I want to yell at her. I want to meet up with her, **** her like she promised me, then ditch her and say 'You have cheated on every boyfriend you have had - whore', so many things I want to do. I could have had her back/slept with her but I just went NC and I don't know if that was the right move or not.

 

akklavi - Yes, she was a HUGE bitch. There was so much more she did in the relationship that I didn't mention. However, I thought she would have apologised, I was waiting for it, she was asking me to come back to her, saying she missed me. Even though she was with this new guy she must have been thinking about me. I know she did love me at one point. I hate this new guy, he hates me and wanted to be with her as long as he has known her. She showed no interest in him at all, til the last week. When I was overseas she said she was confused, and it was me she wanted. My god, she ****ing confused me. Maybe if I met up with her she would have apologised in person, but the fact is she still cheated, it's the type of person she is. I am out and am fortunate so why do I care? Why would she say all these things to me when she was in this relationship with this other guy? She told me that he meant nothing to her, she was bored of him, she wasn't sleeping with him etc etc. Which I realise now is all bull****, so why did she have to say all those things? UGH IT'S SO CONFUSING!? WTF IS WRONG WITH HER!? Really, I don't think their relationship will last forever, maybe it's a rebound. Point is I shouldn't give a ****.

 

I just did a huge rant and said what was on my mind, so really there is no structure in that post.

 

There are a few parties coming up, I will make the most of it to meet a nice girl, problem is I don't want to get involved in anything serious cause it will probably just be a rebound which is unfair for the other person involved, so maybe I should wait til I am fully healed (if that ever happens) but what if I need another person for that to happen? Heh, probably won't even meet anyone.

 

****, I have had a ****ty week.

[DJMarky]

Guys I really need support.

 

I know I had that huge ass thread about my situation, which was basically people saying go NC and that my ex is an utter bitch. I went NC and listened to people, but it's not working! I thought I was getting better, but I think it was just me being happy I had the upper hand by ignoring her while she called and made attempts to get back with me. I know her attempts were full of **** (lying about not sleeping with him, saying he was nothing etc etc) but she still tried. Now, after that last email I sent telling her to stop contacting me, she only tried to call once, and that's it. I don't know what I was expecting, but now that is it, over 2 weeks a go. I will not talk/see her again. I definitely won't slip up and contact her, but now to her I am probably a distant memory while she is replacing me with this new 'love'.

 

I can't stop thinking about her. I ****ing miss her. Seeing those photos of her and her new boyfriend are giving me weird feelings in my stomach. I shouldn't care. I know in my head she is a horrible girlfriend (I mean she was telling me her new boyfriend bores her) and she was ****ing horrible as my girlfriend (cheated), and horrible with her ex ex (who she cheated on with me). She doesn't have a good track record. The problem is her new boyfriend is best friends with her best friend's boyfriend. That will keep her close and probably make the relationship endless, but why do I care??

 

WHY DO I CARE!? SHE WAS SO SO SO SO BAD TO ME! ****! Why has this relationship affected me so much more than others I have had. I feel heartbroken and I hate it, I have never had this feeling before, ever. I ****ing hate how this heartless, manipulate whore could do this.

 

I just need to rant, anything.

 

I really feel I am getting worse with NC. She is gone for good, she won't attempt to get back with me again, it's over, it's what I wanted, so why do I care? ****, I loved her. I really feel I need get into a rebound relationship and I know a girl that I could do this with, but I have stopped, I know it will lead to bad things. This other girl at one stage confessed how much she loved me, and when I told her I didn't feel the same she bawled her eyes out at a party. I really want to contact her and meet up, just to get some attention, but I have stopped myself this far.

 

I just need something to get me over this ****ing girl.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I don't know it is about human nature.

 

Why we want what we can't or don't have.

 

And when we have it, we sometimes don't want it or can take it for granted.

 

PEOPLE ARE WEIRD lol

 

I think its important to focus on the anger. Obviously you do need to work through anger but I think to initially get over it, the anger is POWERFUL motivation. When I found stuff that was just NOT ON from my boyfriend, I found that later on, I was making excuses for him, forgiving, letting it go.....so I went over and over again what he wrote, burned the words in, felt the anger for them, and that anger gave me nonchalance in a way. Its the sadness thats the killer. The anger is strong. It makes you not want to see them, not want to talk to them. Its the calmer phases of the grief that I found more difficult.

 

I guess you need to keep rationalising what are you missing? Write down all the things she did to you that were bad and write how they made you feel.

 

Then think, is it worth feeling this way for someone? Yes you feel bad without her, but you'd actually STILL have been feeling bad with her, if she was treating you in a bad way. Therefore one way or the other, you feel bad. Might as well feel bad without her! I think for a long time you have to be happy with just feeling 'okay'. Not happy, not great, not amazing. You may be jealous of others who seem more sorted in their relationships or work or social life because its a reminder of what you've lost. Be satisfied with being okay until you can get your life back.

[HurtandLost]

Hey DJ,

I know how you feel man, being dropped in a heartbeat by a girl you thought loved you. I am in the same situation, but it happens to be the second time it has happened to me; however this time I feel like I am doing much better coping with the situation.

 

I feel the best way I got over an ex girlfriend the previous time was to hit the gym and focus on myself, rather than letting my ex get away with what she did. The first time around, my ex girlfriend dropped me out of nowhere, and was even immature to the point of having her dad break it off for her over the phone. I was in a slump for a couple of months, but realized the thing that made me feel the greatest was working out and doing things to make myself feel better (i.e. new haircut, new clothes, taking long hot showers, listening to music that related to the situation).

 

You just need to hang in there, which is what I am trying to do right now after my last girlfriend who is a complete whore and a B**** on top of all that. I know it will be hard to find motivation at first to workout, but force yourself to do it. I used to take my workout clothes with me to work, so I had no choice but to drive to the gym right after work before making it to my house. The best advice I think can give you out of all this is DO NOT JUMP INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. It never works, and you are constantly comparing your new girlfriend to your ex; eventually making the new relationship a rebound. Over time you will begin to forget about her and forget she ever even existed; however for right now take all of the stuff that reminds you of her and stick it in a box, or even burn it (which is what I have done before). Don't check her Facebook, Myspace, or any other social networking website, and do your best to avoid running into her while you are healing.

 

Like it was said earlier "You want what you can't have," which is completely true right now for you. If you think about it, if she were to come back right now, would you really want her back after all the nasty things she said to you? Do it for yourself and move on and make yourself the better person out of the situation and if you do run into her act confident and don't let her even tell you are affected by her presence. GOOD LUCK MAN!

[akklavi]

DJ you're doing really well doing the nc, hang in there.

I don't know if you've ever smoked, been addicted to anything, but the quitting and withdrawal is hideous, and the temptation to go back is always huge. When I went cold turkey, I rationalized that how could something that made me feel so bad (quitting cigarettes) really be so good for me, as I won't be one of the people to get cancer. And anyway I'm young, you only live once, blah blah. So I started smoking again. Then got really bad pneumonia, almost died of a serious asthma attack, and was sufficiently wrecked to give up the sticks for good, 2 years ago.

 

What I'm saying, is that just because the nc feels like ****, it doesn't mean it's bad. Likewise, just because being with her feels so "necessary", doesn't make it good. The reason nc feels 'wrong' to you, is because it means that you would have to really let go of her. And take the risk that she will let go of you, and you're still somewhere hoping for a reconciliation.

 

I know you know this, but she really is toxic, the girlfriend equivalent of a hideous tumor. Don't look at her crumbs in your direction as a sign of her affection. The very fact that she ignores your wishes to halt contact, by still emailing, just shows that she's far more concerned about keeping you hanging on because it strokes her ego. If you really ignored her, she'd have to come to terms with the fact that she "ain't all that", and her king-size ego would not enjoy the feeling! So she keeps you hanging on just enough with a few morsels, and keeps reeling you in. I know I sound harsh, sorry, but I think you know she's not what you wish she was....

 

Seriously you can do so much better. By the fact that you've invested all this thought into this (useless) woman, just shows that you are so capable of giving a lot. And that you aren't afraid to work for a relationship. There are literally millions of women out there looking for a guy who will do that. Find one of them, get what you really deserve. Cos this is not it!

 

Take care

[DJMarky]

Thanks a lot guys, I mean it.

 

Yesterday night a wave of emotions hit me, but I am not usually that bad. Guess I have to get used to the waves and just wait for it all to subside. I went to a friends after I wrote that and felt a lot better, still thought about her, but didn't show that to them. Heard crying is good for you, but I haven't cried once since the break up, just doesn't happen, so maybe the emotions bottle up? I don't know.

 

I should write a positive and negative list to refer back on whenever I come to this site for help.

 

Positives:

- Extremely hot

- Great sex

- Enjoyed being with her one on one (movies, dinner at hers)

- Affectionate

- Often reminded me how much she loved me, told me I was the first person she ever loved.

 

Negatives:

- Dressed like a thai prostitute when she went out (dresses like a complete whore - skirts that lift up to show her ass that she had to literally keep pulling down, also her breasts popping out of the top - was embarrassing)

- Superficial (if she saw someone she knew and had just finished work or had no make up she would avoid them so they did not see her - which is the complete opposite to me, I have longish completely messy ass hair, always wear a hat, the hair sticks out the sides and forms wings, unshaven, wear whatever clothes are on my floor, you get the jist! (Lucky this is not a dating site else I would have lost any potential partners))

- Acted like a complete ditz in front of other males (she is actually very bright but loved to give the impression of an idiot)

- Manipulative

- A HUGE flirt (photos of her on myspace of her in lingerie and a nurses uniform?? wtf .. also telling me how she is bored of her new boyfriend and likes the chase - not a reliable girlfriend)

- Chronic cheater (she would tell her ex that she was sleeping at a friends when she came to mine, cheated on me)

- Compulsive liar (to her ex about her seeing anyone, she would even lie about why we broke up to make me look as if I was in the wrong - for example I called her a bitch and a horrible girlfriend for cheating on me, she tells all her friends/relatives what I called her but not why, lied to me constantly to try and get me back)

- User (got her ex to pay for her festival tickets, phone bill ($500!!!) etc when I was dating her - he was actually spending way more on her than me)

- Extremely inconsiderate (would see the guy she was ****ing while we were dating, I was suspect, told her I didn't like the idea of them hanging out together (especially after she told me she thought he was hot and was having dreams about him!!), she would yell at me for being insecure - which is the point I broke up with her)

- Denied dating me at the end of our relationship to my brother's friends for no particular reason (they thought she was a total ditz and slut from the beginning, as one said to me while i was with her - 'she isn't all there'), then rubbing in my face and trying to hurt me for no particular reason.

 

Hah, that felt good. I could go on if I went back and recalled our whole relationship.

 

Nikki - You are right. People want what they can't have. However, I wouldn't say I want her, just the idea that she wanted me. The fact she was dating this guy but still pestering me made me feel as if maybe she regretted being such a whore and would ask for forgiveness. Also, it won't be hard to get angry . I always felt **** when I was with her cause she would **** me around one way or another, so you are right, better to feel **** without her so then I can end up feeling good, the quicker I can get over her the better.

 

HurtandLost - Sorry to hear about your loss. Maybe I should consider the gym. I mean I am not overweight by any means but I could do with a nice tone stomach again. Too much drinking hah. Though I have done a few things that have kept my mind off her. Firstly, traveling overseas was amazing, I met some amazing people, and was constantly preoccupied I didn't have time to dwell on her and become upset, I was having so much fun. Also, since I have been back I have gone on surfing road trips with friends a couple of times, which have been awesome. Still doesn't mean I don't think about her, but I do enjoy myself. I can't wait for the time I don't think about her again, and if she calls in a year or so from now I will have to take a moment to remember who I am actually talking to. But yeh, getting better in shape could really help with my self esteem. Music, man I LOVE music. Listening to some great smashing pumpkins songs right now, not feeling too bad but I am just waiting for the next wave of emotions to hit me.

 

akklavi - That smoking analogy is great. It's true, she is just wanting me to remain there, even by a thin rope, so in case she needs a back up or ego boost she can rely on me. It's the type of person she is so I have no doubt that is what she is trying to do. Also, you are right about being able to care for someone. I never knew I had this in me. Every time people were upset after a break up I couldn't understand why, I had never been sad or cared after one before. The ability to care so much, it's totally new to me. Hopefully next time it will be with a girl that is actually good natured and respectful. My ex ex was both of those, but I never fell for her as much as I did for the whore ex. I can't explain why. I wasn't a bad boyfriend, it's just that I would put other things above her (mainly if the surf was good I would cancel plans), and driving to her house would be considered a chore. Though with my ex who lives 3 times as far away I was always wanting to do the drive. It's totally ****ed up and I can't explain why I got so involved this time. I am worried that a great girl could come into my life but I won't feel what I felt this time. That scares me.

[akklavi]

I can totally relate with the feelings in waves thing.... I often feel like I'm on a boat - calm waters, then hit a dodgy patch and suddenly really seasick again. I'm home with the flu, and feeling especially sorry for myself

 

Anyway, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that you're worried you'll meet a nice girl but you won't feel "this way" about her. Basically you just have yet to meet a woman who's decent, great, but who you're also really really attracted to. And I think that's the main reason you're holding on here - something in you is afraid you'll never feel this way about anyone again..... But I assure you that this cold, two-faced ***** is certainly not the only woman you'll ever have strong feelings for. There are millions of women out there. You're just really really attracted to your ex, physically and somewhat emotionally, and her temporary warmth towards you just acted like a sealant. Because, if she was not very pretty, and lousy in bed, I can bet you wouldn't be feeling this way.... It certainly isn't down to her "winning personality".

 

It's human nature, great sex and intense emotion is a massive pull, can keep people together for far longer than anything else, until reality sinks in. I think what's happened with you, is that you were still in the honeymoon stage with her as far as the sex and emotions goes, and it's at that stage I think, when the "love is blind" thing applies. I read somewhere that the reason for this blindness and attraction, is because it's nature's way to keep the couple together through pregnancy and early childrearing. So the physical side of things + emotional intimacy that goes with it, clouds the better judgment, and the brain is fooled into thinking that a chemistry/connection = something meaningful, substantial. When infact it means nothing except intense infatuation. For me I know this makes sense in my situation which is pretty much like yours - bad guy, great sex, confused feelings re: love, will never feel this way again etc.-.. etc...

 

So when I compared your ex to a toxic tumour ;-) I probably should've compared her to a joint, or shot of heroin. Because it feels so good on the one hand, so hard to give up, but it will, if not kill you, then severely damage you in the long run. And the effect is cumulative. Basically you just have yet to meet a great person who also makes you weak at the knees. She is out there, but the more time spent wasted on this worthless ***** means less time for you to hit the gym, do your thing, and eventually meet someone great. She might not be the next girl - hopefully the next one will restore your faith in women if nothing else - but the good ones are out there. Loads and loads of them....

[DJMarky]

Wow, akklavi, great advice.

 

This really helped me.

 

You are totally right, I am now even questioning if I actually loved her or if it was just the hormones. Haha, you are right, it's hilarious, if she was actually unattractive, I wouldn't have dated her in the first place. It's not like we had some awesome connection, she wanted me, advanced, took my pants off and I was like, 'hmm, why not?' and that's it.

 

Hopefully I will feel this way about someone else, who isn't a tramp. I think you are right, I am scared I will lose the only person I felt this extreme feeling for (I won't say love). Realistically, marrying this girl would be a disaster. She will get bored of her husband and chase any hot guy that shows her an ounce of attention. She bathes in attention. She loves it how every single guy wants to bang her. At her birthday we all went out, and she ended up in tears because so many people were making comments about the way she was dressing, such as, 'I can see your vagina', haha. Before we were dating (FWB) I took her to a friend's (female) 21st, they told me they thought she looked like a prostitute (like I said, dress barely covering ass she had to keep pulling down with an outline of a g-string, with her breasts popping out). The way she dressed when we went out was actually a turn off, come on, have some dignity and self-respect. Pretty much looked like a porn star.

 

I am not going to say I regret dating her, I found out I had the potential to care about someone so much, which I would have never known. Also, sex 5 times a day was ****ing awesome.

 

I really think you got it in one with "physical side of things + emotional intimacy that goes with it, clouds the better judgment, and the brain is fooled into thinking that a chemistry/connection = something meaningful, substantial."

 

Thanks for cheering me up. I am sure another wave of anger, sadness, whatever will come my way, but they are becoming few and far between.

 

Hah, also going to the petrol station the other night some girl came up to me and wrote on a piece of paper that I looked like Brody Jenner. I didn't know who that was at the time. When I saw the pictures I see zero resemblance, I think it was the hat? But oh well, least I got her attention! Hmm, also plenty of parties coming up in the following weeks, want to enjoy myself, hopefully can be over her completely in the not too distant future, thanks to your help.

 

Don't worry I haven't lost my faith in women. My past experiences have shown there are amazing women out there. Also, you don't exactly give women a bad name either .

[fofiffs]

Wow, akklavi, great advice.

 

This really helped me.

 

You are totally right, I am now even questioning if I actually loved her or if it was just the hormones. Haha, you are right, it's hilarious, if she was actually unattractive, I wouldn't have dated her in the first place. It's not like we had some awesome connection, she wanted me, advanced, took my pants off and I was like, 'hmm, why not?' and that's it.

 

Hopefully I will feel this way about someone else, who isn't a tramp. I think you are right, I am scared I will lose the only person I felt this extreme feeling for (I won't say love). Realistically, marrying this girl would be a disaster. She will get bored of her husband and chase any hot guy that shows her an ounce of attention. She bathes in attention. She loves it how every single guy wants to bang her. At her birthday we all went out, and she ended up in tears because so many people were making comments about the way she was dressing, such as, 'I can see your vagina', haha. Before we were dating (FWB) I took her to a friend's (female) 21st, they told me they thought she looked like a prostitute (like I said, dress barely covering ass she had to keep pulling down with an outline of a g-string, with her breasts popping out). The way she dressed when we went out was actually a turn off, come on, have some dignity and self-respect. Pretty much looked like a porn star.

 

I am not going to say I regret dating her, I found out I had the potential to care about someone so much, which I would have never known. Also, sex 5 times a day was ****ing awesome.

 

I really think you got it in one with "physical side of things + emotional intimacy that goes with it, clouds the better judgment, and the brain is fooled into thinking that a chemistry/connection = something meaningful, substantial."

 

Thanks for cheering me up. I am sure another wave of anger, sadness, whatever will come my way, but they are becoming few and far between.

 

Hah, also going to the petrol station the other night some girl came up to me and wrote on a piece of paper that I looked like Brody Jenner. I didn't know who that was at the time. When I saw the pictures I see zero resemblance, I think it was the hat? But oh well, least I got her attention! Hmm, also plenty of parties coming up in the following weeks, want to enjoy myself, hopefully can be over her completely in the not too distant future, thanks to your help.

 

Don't worry I haven't lost my faith in women. My past experiences have shown there are amazing women out there. Also, you don't exactly give women a bad name either .

 

 

Wow your ex just sounds like my ex. You probably know my story that you just posted on. But your right my ex too loves all the attention from guys thats why most of her friends were guys. And she loves the fact that alot of them wants to hit that. But like you I did so much for her but yet she didn't appreciate any of it. And about the sex thing we to were having so much sex and man it was so great. After reading this it made me feel good too. Now i'm starting to wonder about things. Cuz even now that we aint together I still think about how good the sex was. So i'm not even sure if I really did love her or the sex. But like I said I did so much for her.

[akklavi]

DJ, glad to hear you're feeling a bit better! I really think you're completely right in your assessment, and that's confirmed by the fact that the start of your relationship was for purely physical reasons. As you said, there will occasionally still be really bad up and down days, but it will get better, and you will finally able to get the whole experience out of your system.

So Brody Jenner eh ;-) And thanks btw, you're doing a pretty good job of restoring faith in guys too ;-) Lots of parties sounds like a good healing strategy - I'm thinking similar things. And no doubt your ex may try and corner you at one of them, try and make you jealous etc... Just remember that how much she throws herself at some guy in your presence isn't a reflection on anything, except that she'll be trying to make you jealous, and herself feel desirable. Because small people like that gain pleasure from another's distress.

Hang in there, and hope you feel better often enough to enjoy the partying! And keep posting on here whenever you feel like ****, I have to say I'm finding all this writing really therapeutic!

[DJMarky]

DJ, glad to hear you're feeling a bit better! I really think you're completely right in your assessment, and that's confirmed by the fact that the start of your relationship was for purely physical reasons. As you said, there will occasionally still be really bad up and down days, but it will get better, and you will finally able to get the whole experience out of your system.

So Brody Jenner eh ;-) And thanks btw, you're doing a pretty good job of restoring faith in guys too ;-) Lots of parties sounds like a good healing strategy - I'm thinking similar things. And no doubt your ex may try and corner you at one of them, try and make you jealous etc... Just remember that how much she throws herself at some guy in your presence isn't a reflection on anything, except that she'll be trying to make you jealous, and herself feel desirable. Because small people like that gain pleasure from another's distress.

Hang in there, and hope you feel better often enough to enjoy the partying! And keep posting on here whenever you feel like ****, I have to say I'm finding all this writing really therapeutic!

 

Oh man, partying, doesn't make you feel great the day after haha. If there are any typos bear with me, I can barely focus on the screen and my head feels like it weighs 100kg. Ugh.

 

Last night I had a bit of a breakthrough. It was my mates birthday, couple of my friends came to mine before we met up with him at a restaurant. Had 4 beers before I went, and then bought a bottle of wine for dinner (I don't even like wine but it was byo wine only). First mistake, mixing drinks. So I get pretty drunk at the dinner and we are all having a good time, me making a fool of myself to his parents (I have known them for around 10 years so we are very close - I am known for being cheeky so can really get away with a lot more than anyone else haha), then my ex comes to my head in full force. I start feeling a bit upset and I assess the girls in the room and none are nearly as attractive as her, yep very shallow on my behalf, this makes me feel worse. Anyways, we went out to a club (everyone was out due to today being a public holiday) and had our names on the door because we knew the girl who did the door. We got in, I had more drinks, then my brother's mate smses me saying, 'I just saw ****, what a skank'. I then respond and anyways comes to the conclusion she is wearing this leopard dress that barely covers her ass (not a surprise) and it looks amusing, they also said they wouldn't touch her cause they all think she has a thousand STDs. I actually felt sorry for her, I really did. She is so superficial and trys so hard to get guys to want her. I realised I was losing my feelings for her and was becoming indifferent, I just saw her as kind of pathetic. For some reason this really improved my attitude, I just laughed and was embarrassed on her behalf.

 

So anyways, my other mates tell us to come out to the city area. So we leave and get the train. Some amusing **** happened due to drunkeness but not really related to anything on this forum so I will pass that part. So we go to a club, play some pool, drink more (ugh) and just have a good time. Then I start looking at all the girls, and saw one girl I thought looked very hot, she was half african, half french. Really, I am not normally attracted to black girls (no offense to any reading - just personal preference) but she was like a tan colour and pretty smoking (I was really drunk so my vision could be slightly blurred). I approach her, no idea what I said, I couldn't tell you, but she tells the guys dancing with her/trying to pick her up that she will be back, we go to a secluded area and talk for a while. Some guy comes over and says he is leaving (giving her a lift), we swap numbers and she leaves. Really, I had no idea about the next fact until I checked my phone this morning. I then get a message from her saying, 'Hey **** it was very nice meeting you! I had a lot of fun talking to you ! You see I sent you a message. Kiss **** (followed by a kiss emoticon)'. Really, I can't recall a single thing I said to her but thought this was a good sign. I then checked my sent messages and I sent one saying 'I hope we can be good friends'. LOL W T F! Has my game become really that bad? Oh geez, *smacks head* hahaha. Anyways more messages were sent, mine being ridiculous (due to excessive intake of alcohol). Not sure if this will go anywhere, I really can't remember what she even looked like, just the impression. Still, feel a bit better. Then the club closed got home (no idea when) and was woken by my dad with a beer on the table (great idea to drink more when I got back home LOL) and my mate passed out on the couch. He tells me to go to bed and wonders wtf I am slouched on the couch. I wake up and now feel like a train has hit me lol. Was worth it though, had a really great night.

[DJMarky]

Wow your ex just sounds like my ex. You probably know my story that you just posted on. But your right my ex too loves all the attention from guys thats why most of her friends were guys. And she loves the fact that alot of them wants to hit that. But like you I did so much for her but yet she didn't appreciate any of it. And about the sex thing we to were having so much sex and man it was so great. After reading this it made me feel good too. Now i'm starting to wonder about things. Cuz even now that we aint together I still think about how good the sex was. So i'm not even sure if I really did love her or the sex. But like I said I did so much for her.

 

Yeh man, sound like the same breed of women. Users. Use their looks to get what they want. My ex also had about 1000 guy friends for every girl friend. I am really going to re-consider dating a girl that has the same traits. If she comes off way too flirtatious and promiscuous, plus has a thousand guys wanting her, I will learn to back off. Those girls are not keepers. Good luck!

[loser101]

I haven't read all the responses to your messages but it is clear to me that you are just addicted to the drama.

 

once you meet a decent girl that holds your attention and you have strong chemistry with, you will wonder why you were after such an immature slut in the first place

[DJMarky]

I haven't read all the responses to your messages but it is clear to me that you are just addicted to the drama.

 

once you meet a decent girl that holds your attention and you have strong chemistry with, you will wonder why you were after such an immature slut in the first place

 

I really hope so. Though, like I said, this is the first time I really felt such strong feelings for a girlfriend, so I guess that is why it was harder to let go. Can't help she was a total bitch. I really hope I get the chemistry with someone worthwhile. Just have to wait and see I guess.

 

Also, nearly 3 weeks of NC, thinking about her less every day.