thegoodlife Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 I'm not sure exactly what it is that I am afraid of, but I'm starting to think it's failure. I'm still young, 21 years old, and I'm at a point in my life where a lot of things are happening and a lot more could be happening if I only let it. I really want to overcome my fears and let myself become all that I can be but something always holds me back. I first moved out on my own at 17, and when I was 19 I moved across the country by myself to experience a totally independent life and taking care of myself. I've since moved back home in my parent's house while I am finishing college, but I'm still completely independent and know that I am quite capable of being on my own. So that part I know I can do, and will have no problems being on my own again after graduation. But it's other little things, like driving. I got my beginner's when I turned 16 like everyone else....and I still have it. I went to driver's ed and everything, but when it came time for my test I bombed it and never tried again. I wouldn't be able to afford a car and insurance right now anyway, but I would like to be able to drive one day...and like to know that I can drive if I absolutely needed to. It's embarassing to have friends that are 2-4 years younger than me having to pick me up. I'm the last one in my group of friends that doesn't have their full license yet, but I can't bring myself to try and take the test again. I'm way too scared of failing. Another thing is at my current job (I just work at a fast food joint), they are looking to promote me to a manager and have been for some time. I'm very efficient at my job and I know this, I've been working in this chain for a long time so I know the place inside and out, and a management position would be great for money especially while I'm still in school. BUT once again, I am way too scared to take the position in fears that I won't be good at it. I'm so good and comfortable with the position I have right now, that I'm scared to risk moving into a new area where I won't be the best. Things like this makes me look into the future with a bit of worry. In another year I will be graduated from college, and I can see myself shying away from a good job because I'm scared. I don't want to be like this and I'm tired of my fears stunting my development into adulthood. Anyone else been in this position? Any suggestions?
era Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Any suggestions? You need to go beyond the ideas of succeeding and failing, for these are judgements. Just stay in the process, focus on your goals. You're only stuck because that's what YOU decided to be.
Author thegoodlife Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 Thanks that's really good advice! Nobody has ever put it into those terms for me. I'm trying to move forward as much as I can with no fear.
era Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 I'm so good and comfortable with the position I have right now, that I'm scared to risk moving into a new area where I won't be the best. Just to add : you cannot always be number one, but you can always think of yourself as an important, worthwhile person.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 the medevil samurai of japan had a saying. fear is cowardice and nothing good can come from cowardice. if your to scared to do anything you might as well be one of those fat guys who play world of warcraft all day and get happy looking at pictures of night elves. what i'm trying to say is you cant get anywhere if you dont take risks. i took a risk gambleing and i could have lost alot but i wound up getting $600the sexy blazer and in my dp.
bittersweet1989 Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 google "self sabotage"....i'm going through similar stuff and once you realize what is going on maybe you can overcome it! i sure hope so at least.....
Bluebird In My Heart Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 It kind of sounds like fear of making mistakes is somehow tied into the whole thing, as well. I know it well. All I can tell you is there's no way to get on without making mistakes along the way - in fact, that's the biggest way we learn. So look forward to life being messy, embarrassing, silly, and wonderful. You are never a mistake, and there's no such animal as a "failure". You are you - and that is more than enough and good. The more mistakes you make, the more you get used to them. It's fun! So go - make a mess! Go! Life is way too important to take seriously! <3
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