Flamenco81 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Hi. OK, I'll give a quick overview of my situation. I met this girl online through eharmony. I was pretty excited because she seemed to take all the initiative. She was the one that started contact first. Then when we were starting direct communication I asked her all these questions on an email and she replied "loved all your questions, can I answer them over coffee sometime next week?". So we arranged an early coffee about 2 weeks ago and we met and talked for about 2 hours. I felt it went well. I was going to leave for DC 2 days later to visit fanily and would be there for 5 days. We agreed to do something when I got back from DC the week after. So that brings us to this Monday. Mind you, all these times we were talking and arranging everything through emails. So we had communicated last weekend and agree to go out Monday. So last Monday we met at a restaurant. We kissed hello on the cheek and gave each other a big hug. We had dinner and conversation was good. I told her about this cool bar in the city were you could play ping pong and pool and they had live bands all night, and she was like "we have to go there". That night she had to be back home at 9pm, because it was her tv night with her friends and it was the goodbye party for one of them. So after dinner I offered to walk her to her subway stop. There has not been any physical contact to this point. When we got there we said it was a good evening, etc. I sort of went in for a kiss, but she was already turning her head when I went in so I sort of gave it in between her lip and cheek. We then hugged and said goobye. So that was Monday. So I waited until Wednesday night and sent her an email saying hello and asked if she wanted to go to that bar on Sunday night. She wrote back the next day and said "I am thinking about the weekend and I am swamped with work. Could we postpone till next week? I looked at the website and it looks like so much fun!". So I answered and said yeah no problem, let me know what weeknight you have off next week and we'll go then. So that was 2 days ago and haven't heard from her. I am starting to drive myself crazy with this. I don't know if I am exagerating. But do you think she is not intersted? I just feel like even if you have school work to do and stuff, if you like someone you find time to go out at least for a while. That is how I feel. So I don't know what to think. If she doesn't answer by Monday, should I call her or write to her again just asking if she would like to go to that place maybe Wednesday/Thursday?
pollywag Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 I'd give it a week, if you haven't heard from her by Wed contact her to see is she wants to get together and is she puts you off again then she is prob not interested. I know it can be nerve wrecking but no point jumping the gun and becoming too eager when you don't even know if she is actually busy or not too interested. Play it safe and wait until later in the week, you're busy too.
Author Flamenco81 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 Thanks for the opinion. Should I keep maintaining the contact by email or start calling her directly? I like emails because I know they are there and can't be ignored. I feel like calls it's very easy to ignore and not answer or something, but of course calls are more personal.
EYECANDY000 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 2 days isnt a long time to jump to the conclusion that she isnt interested. I would wait a few more days and see if she contacts you. I agree i think if you are really interested in someone then you would sacrifice a little time to spend with that person or send a email, text, or call and say "hey". But a lot of people dont think like that.
Author Flamenco81 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 Yeah, that sounds reasonable. I will wait until Monday night to see if she gets back to me. That will have been 4 whole days since we had talked last. What I'll do is call her, if she answers great, and we can talk it out directly. If I get the machine then I'll just hang up and send an email. And just tell her Wednesday or Thursday would be good for me, to just tell me if she wants to go either one of those days. I know that if we do go out next week I HAVE to do something. Because it will be the 3rd date and so I have to make a move and show my interest. I am super motivated to do it, all I need is to solidify that 3rd date.
D-Lish Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 So I answered and said yeah no problem, let me know what weeknight you have off next week and we'll go then. Yes, you are right that if someone is interested- the whole planning to be busy in advance isn't a promising gesture. I absolutely would not call to make any plans after it has been made clear that she is to let you know. If that's how the conversation went down- then just relax and wait for her to call you (as planned).
Recommended Posts