smile_through_tears Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 They say that when someone you love leaves you, you have only two options to heal the wound.. 1. Get back with them 2. Get over them and move on. Well what do you do when none of them seem to happen?? I know he doesn't want to get back, he made that clear but then why is it that I can't move on?? I wouldnt know what runs through his mind, if he misses me or not, if he has another girlfriend or even if he likes anybody and thankfully I havent wasted much time worrying about HIS life...cause well it's his and he chose to have me out of it, regardless of my tears and the love I felt for him... So I did NC and decided to focus on myself...but yet I still love him and miss him although it has been so long. Time is supposed to heal but the more I think about it, can you really forget about someone you LOVE with all of you in a matter of months?? No matter how many parties or friends you have, does that fill that void?? I mean seriously even let's say you're not crying and stressing everyday over the person, can you truly say that they HARDLY cross your mind?? For some reason my ex is on my head EVERY DAY!! I'm not proud of this and I wish he wasn't but I just cant seem to get over him. Especially you know there are MEMORIES that come along with the ex and all these emotions..and then there is that deep connection that they cut off so unexcpectedly...I dont know...At times I feel anger, at times I feel sadness, regrets, embarrasment....Im still on the rollercoaster of emotions...It stresses me out because I cant seem to think my way out of the way Im feeling and when I do..its weird..it takes sooo much strength, like I have to FORCE this whole attitude of "Im okay. I dont need you anymore because you dont need me, so I have to be fine without you." and its not genuwine though, because I still miss him and would give anything to get our old life back...or heck even start over but I cant make someone love me...And at times even when Im getting ready to go out and I think I look so pretty, I remember him always telling me how I was soo beautiful, and I miss hearing that...I miss him loving me and me loving him...when I see things on the store that are for couples, I get sad that I can no longer buy him stuff like that and knowing he is out of my life forever, another girl will have the future I wanted with him makes me sad. Sorry for the ramble...I know I have to be a strong woman and suck it up but its difficult..even after all this time...How do you cope?
gavinus Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 I don't know the answer. I went out the other night, every girl reminded me of my ex also. I feel your pain because it is the same for me. I think we cope. At the beginning of the day, its another day without them, we think we can't get through the day, but every day we do carry on without them and we survive until the end of the day. All I know is it was their choice and I hope in time for me, you and every person hurt and dumped, will meet a great person and out ex's will seem as unimportant to us as we were to them. Remember our ex's no longer want us, but the strangers on this website continue to give advice and support and encouragement far more than out ex's ever did, be strong, never give up on yourself, you are worth it!
xpaperxcutx Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 When someone played such an important role in your life, you can't expect to forget them in a heartbeat. From personal experience when, leaving the first time was much easier than the second time. It's only the second time where you start questioning whether you still loved him or not. That feeling will always be there nagging at you. It does get easier with time, of course his absence only makes his presence more known. It will get better. Have faith that life is great and when someone else comes into the picture, you will have forgotten about your ex.
EmperorR Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 It's funny when your with your ex, you don't think about them 24/7, once your not there in your head every single day first thing you think of when you wake up last think of before you sleep, and it sucks.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 It's funny when your with your ex, you don't think about them 24/7, once your not there in your head every single day first thing you think of when you wake up last think of before you sleep, and it sucks. agreed love hurts. it makes me angry too. cant forget the smile of the cheating sucubus i spent 4 years of my life with
Author smile_through_tears Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 ahh.. but there has got to be SOMETHING we can do to stop the hurt and the love for them...damnit!!!! this is NOT a good situation...i was reading in my psychology book that if u cant change the situation thats bothering you, then you should change the way you think about it.. any help with that????
Tryng2Trust08 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Im assuming you are fairly young....thats just my assumption. It seems you have a rocky relationship and there are things you want him to know that you never told him. What were some of the negatives of your relationship? Could you picture being with this guy down the road and possibly marriage? I know it's hard to just stop thinking about them, try to be more patient with yourself and let yourself feel the pain. It's ok to feel the way you do. All relationships aren't going to work out and you will realize there is someone else better out there for you. Instead of trying to find happiness with a guy, find it within yourself so when the right one does come along you can be happy in the relationship. I have embraced the true relationships I have with friends, that I know will never leave me.
Author smile_through_tears Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 Well Im 20 years old...And yes obvioulsy I could ahve seen myself marrying him, I wouldnt be feeling all this pain if I never wanted to marry him. My relationship wasnt exactly "disfuntcional" or 'rocky"..it just simply ended...and while yes there are regrets and I guess things I wish i could say to him, it doesnt matter because it still wont bring him back...NC it is...im just not over him, no matter what i do...all im saying
wheresmysunshine Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Smilethroughtears- I am going through the same thing you are right now. I have only been gone a week so far even though I picked up and left him 2.5 years ago and stayed away for 4 months. The first time I left, I actually was thrown out by him. He told me to get the hell out or he would. It all happened so fast and because another woman was involved that he clearly dumped me for, I was in a lot of pain and confused. I had to re-start my life by getting my own apartment and also a new job in a different state away from him. My family would constantly tell me that I would be better after time and not as depressed.. but my depression never got better. I think because I didn't want it to, I wanted my life back, I wanted him back even though he put me through all that pain. I would cry instead of eat and in 4 months went from 155lbs to 122. I am not at all joking. His own mom did not recognize me when I saw her during our separation. We did get back together after all his promises and now here I am alone again, was enaged to him this time and have a house together. It is over some girl at work who was very persistent.... but I know how you feel and I am here to talk with you anytime, since now I am on the boards a lot reading and looking for help.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Smilethroughtears- I am going through the same thing you are right now. I have only been gone a week so far even though I picked up and left him 2.5 years ago and stayed away for 4 months. The first time I left, I actually was thrown out by him. He told me to get the hell out or he would. It all happened so fast and because another woman was involved that he clearly dumped me for, I was in a lot of pain and confused. I had to re-start my life by getting my own apartment and also a new job in a different state away from him. My family would constantly tell me that I would be better after time and not as depressed.. but my depression never got better. I think because I didn't want it to, I wanted my life back, I wanted him back even though he put me through all that pain. I would cry instead of eat and in 4 months went from 155lbs to 122. I am not at all joking. His own mom did not recognize me when I saw her during our separation. We did get back together after all his promises and now here I am alone again, was enaged to him this time and have a house together. It is over some girl at work who was very persistent.... but I know how you feel and I am here to talk with you anytime, since now I am on the boards a lot reading and looking for help. i know the feeling. but i left her. i couldnt stand her for what she did to me. 4 years of my life wasted my entire highschool life with the same cheating sucubus. i got half a year in highschool left and i dont want it to be spent thinking of her beatiful smile. and the way we used to hold each other. and somehow i wound up here trying to get her out of my mind. its been a few months since i said i was done. almost a year now.
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