sara82 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I dated a guy at the end of the summer of 2008 for a very short time, about 1 month. Within that time we got very close, we'd talk daily, we saw eachother about twice a week (he lived an hour away from me), and during that time he NEVER gave me any doubt about his feelings for me, told me constantly how much he cared. Well, one evening he came over to spend some time with me after work, and, I'll admit I didn't have a good day at work and instead of talking to him about it....I bullied him, tore him to shreds, made him feel horrible, kind of "nicked picked" and told him everything he was doing wrong. He was a good guy though and stuck it out with me till about 10pm that evening. The next day of course, he was very upset with me...told me he felt bullied and attacked all night...which I understand, I said I was sorry, but of course at that point the damage had been done. He already started pulling away, he was distant and cold, and by the next week he broke up with me. Over the next few months, I tried my best to reconcile, but he was just so angry with me and the way i treated him, i just got the occasional text message saying "hey how are you?" but that was pretty much it, he barely has contact with me and refused to talk to me on the phone at all. Well, after his angry wore off...he started to come around a little bit. He'd text more often...but still no calling. He kept wanting an answer as too why I upset him so much, and if I really cared about him...why would I attack him. All valid questions and I tried my best to answer them, but trying to defend myself only through text message seemed pointless. Over the last few months though, things are just getting frustrating. He'll text every couple of days, say he wants to seem me, flirt like mad, send pictures, and so on but nothing ever comes of it. He did tell me right before New Years that he didn't want to be with anyone he was just looking for a "hook-up". Yet in January he ended up dating someone very briefly...like about 2 weeks, then when that was over the random text message to me came back about wanting to see me, but nothing ever coming from it. Throughout this entire time....I let him come to me, I never text him or talk to him on the phone unless he starts it, he usually can go only about 2 weeks without some sort of contact. Well this past week, I actually got to see him...he made me dinner. When we were together it was like it had been originally...it was awesome. He was the sweet, caring, great guy I remember last summer. We had dinner together...and he asked if I would like to go hiking with him that weekend, I said great. Well the weekend came and he ended up standing me up. My question to all of you is this....what does he want???? I know he's stringing me along...but this back and forth, maybe he wants me, then maybe he doesn't want to see me is killing me. I love spending time with the guy, but if he'd keeping me in his back pocket until something better comes along...well thats just mean. Or is it more he just doesn't know what he wants??? What do you all think??? Please advise!!! One more thing, in his defense...I do know that he's been screwed over and cheated on a lot by previous girlfriends. I'm not justifying his behavior and what he did to me, but I do understand he has trust issues. He did tell me when i saw him recently that he understands he has a problem of pulling away...he wants to get close to people, but then he begins to think and have doubts and he ends up pulling away to not get hurt. Yet when we were together, he kissed me...told me he missed me, and his "butterflies were back" (he always used to tell me he got butterflies in his stomach when I was around) I'm not sure if he's just telling me that for an excuse...or if he's really being honest with me. Yet in my defense...I'm not his previous girlfriends, yeah I hurt his feelings, and made him feel bad one evening, but that was ONE TIME!!!! After that one day he completely shut me out and pulled away.
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