Nikki Sahagin Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 In my experience of relationships, predominantly my experiences of both people of my own age (19) and older relationships i.e. marriages, i've realised there is usually one partner who is genuine, sincere and committed and one partner that is the manipulator, the controller, the cheat, the liar....it's rare that 2 manipulators end up together or two genuine hearts. Is there something that attracts a genuine heart to a manipulator? They want to give and nurture and the manipulator obviously wants to take. Is there something that draws the manipulator to a genuine heart? The fact that they are an easy target... I've never heard or known of two serial cheats together, or two big liars together.....manipulators seem to know other manipulators almost like they have a bad guy gaydar. Obviously many find another genuine heart, but I truly know of so many relationships where there is the one person who'd do and give everything and the other who just destroys that person and selfishly uses them for their own gain. Do you think we unconsciously will always seek this out? Some of the BIGGEST manipulators are the most subtle. One man I know (married to my mums friend - don't ask how it all came out) is not attractive, not tall, not athletic (in other words - not an obvious babe magnet) but yet has cheated on his wife since before their wedding and she knows, but would do anything to just love him.
JackJack Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 "Its rare that two manipulators end up together." Well, I know of two right now that are both manipulators...they are married with 3 kids. They are way younger than me and my wife, but it is my wife's niece. They are in their 20s'. Its not a very good situation IMO. She cheated years ago, he took her back. He cheated recently and she has taken him back, about 4 times now, after he chose to leave those 4 times because he jsut didn't know what he wanted. He lies all the time, its pretty much all he knows. She lies as well, and she is a very good manipulator and pretty much gets whatever she wants when she wants it. Its kind of like they feed off of each other. I do believe two manipulators can end up together and that two genuine hearts can end up together as well.
carhill Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 IMO, it's all about perception. Who decides who is who? Take the narcissist for example..... I find the most accurate gauge of a person is how much time they spend outside themselves. I can have a brief interaction with someone and instinctively know what type they are. I can't remember ever misjudging, at least with any I've followed up on. At least one business colleague has used me to screen potential employees. When I interact with a person and get the feeling their world is small and they fill it up completely, I nod knowingly and wish them a pleasant existence IMO, we're all manipulators to a certain degree. The extent of that is determined by how much we allow our ego to rule us. A good heart recognizes the manipulator within and leashes the beast but will occasionally let it out to forage
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