BackonTrack2 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Update, No contact for about a year. I've moved on. No more pain, doesn't hurt anymore. Took a while, I got better each month, once I gave up hope. Took about 8-9 months. The other 3 months, It went quick. About 2 months ago, I got into a relationship. That helped allot. Now, I'm back to my state of mind before things happen. I look back at that relationship and say to myself "I should of been paying attention." Ofcourse I wasn't, my ex end up banging another dude, and started acting weird. I guess I neglected her. She was nice. She hurt me pretty good in the end though. Took about a year to recover. After she left, I was messed up, I let business go, went on a downward spirual. About 10 months later, I met girl, she helped me out of the jam, stayed with me, kept me company, brought me food and took me out. I was down. Its like she was investing in me now that I think about it. Over the course of the year, I had a few rebound relationship(s), discovered who my friends were. Re-Discovered myself. It was my passage into man-hood. I don't regret that relationship, at first I did because my life was going to**** andn I had nothing, but over-time, it gave me good experience. I find the lessons learned are coming in handy now with the new girl. It also made me stronger emmotionally. As about the EX, I hold no ill-will toward her, she messed me up pretty good in the head, but it was my fault. I let her get that close. I even let love blind me to her whoreish ways. I trusted blindly. Honestly what do I say to myself now? "She hurt me badly". I think she wanted too. I know she wanted too. Thats the sad part. I don't know what I did to her, must of crossed her or something, she wanted blood. Why haven't she called? She thinks I still love her and wants her back. She doesn't want to come back. Why did she keep coming around while she was fawking the other man? She were keeping her options open. I was giving her money. Why didn't she come back in the END. She thought she found better. She thought she was better than me. Why did she stop having sex with me. She was having sex with someone else. She did not want to be a whore anymore. Why didn't she tell me She thought she would never get caught. She thought she could have her cake and eat it too. She knew how I would react. She didn't want to face it. Will she contact me again? Yes, in the future, after a few years when everything has cooled over. Does she still think about me? No only when something reminds her of me. Does she regret her actions? Yes, but for her, it was all she knows. How do I know these things Because I am not lieing to myself. That was my last relationship. Its over now. If I could go back in time and do it again, would I? Not with the same girl. What have I learned over-all? Females are strange creatures. They will love you, treat you nice, and have sex with you, and want to please you. In return, you have to listen to them and SHOW them you care. Thats all they want. They are really simple. On occasions, they will try and test you, if you fail, they will disgard you and treat you like **** once they realize you put them first, never put them first. The ex gave me the ultimate the test, do you love me more than you respect yourself? The answer was NO. She left. She wanted a submissive man like her farther. That was her end game. It was working. I only see the bad things now, I barely think about the good. If I am to be honest with myself, she would of always cheated on me. If I am to be honest with myself, she will always cheat on her partner. She's that type of girl. This chapter is already closed, I'm just opening the book again, skimming through the pages, remembering the past. It wasn't a good time for me. Time to put it down again, hopefully soon, I can throw away this chapter. I need more time and life experiences before I forget.
UCLAMike Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 i could have written this myself. very well sir. im in 8 month mark myself and i am honestly over it. im still honest today. just met somebody good. hopefully this one will stay good.
sedgwick Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Good for you! I'm at almost two years and still miss him like the day he left. I'm quite envious of folks who are able to move on in a year! (BTW...it's should HAVE, not should OF! Someday I will singlehandedly convince the internet of this. )
UCLAMike Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 one of the best threads. i had to come back to read it again
northstar1 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Good for you! I'm at almost two years and still miss him like the day he left. I'm quite envious of folks who are able to move on in a year! (BTW...it's should HAVE, not should OF! Someday I will singlehandedly convince the internet of this. ) Good catch. BTW......it's single-handedly.
EmperorR Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Congrats man I don't even know how much days I am nc with my ex fiancé and yep no pain no hate nothing anymore just feel like a long distant memory all I know next month we were suppose to be getting married but I'm over her. Now to get over this latest ex
Author BackonTrack2 Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 WoW, I never thought, people would relate to my struggles, but it seems everyone goes though this. Thank you God, you saved me from a whore. Ok.. I shouldn't be writing this, but I just checked her FB Profile. It appears she's back in SCHOOL. I was happy, I was relieved, I thought she was doing BAD. Anyway... HRM, I wonder if she comes to visit me, should I Spit in her face and threw her out or, be friends... thinking.... Pride dictates, I should spit in her face. Not sure how I should go about it... Hell, Maybe she forget about everything and I left a bad tatste in her mouth. Either way, LOL, LOL, I'm cocky..... That dumb girl... LOL To bad she cost me so much money..... Damn....
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