ogbaby Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Hello everyone...I'm new to this forum. I've been having some issues that I need to get off my chest. I was dating this guy for three months and although that's not very long...the relationship was moving fast and I was sure he was 'the one'. We met each other's family the first week that we met and we are of the same culture and background which was important to both of us even though neither one of us had dated much within the culture prior. We spent New Years, Chrismas, and Valentine's Day together. We both had pretty much gotten out of relationships within the month or two before we met. We would discuss, at times, the things that bothered us about our exes and what we looked forward to with each other. One of which his parents did not like his ex...but they loved me! I began noticing (on my space) that his ex was still obsessed with him! She was writing blogs about him and their relationship and how he left her for me...(I don't think that's what happened), she would write blogs that she wanted ME to read ...about him being a jerk and all that he had put her through, but in any case...she was obviously not over it. She also still had pictures of him on her page and they had been broken up for nearly 6 months at that point! I just took it with a grain of salt and figured she would get over it sooner or later. Well, in the third/fourth month of our relationship (when we were just beginning to get to know each other's behavior)...we had our first fight. We made up (he apologized)...but a wk later had another fight but this time he said he 'needed time to himself', which pissed me off and by the time he wanted to talk a few days later...I was so mad I 'needed time to MYSELF'! I was rude to him and basically broke it off (btw, this was all via txt msg, he didn't even bother calling me!) A few weeks later...he is back with his ex!!! I know it's something I should forget about but for some reason...I just can't:( I feel like I need some answers but I don't want to talk to him...do u think I was the rebound or was she? (also, they had an on and off relationship for about 2yrs).
sedgwick Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Why were you looking at his ex's facebook? Why on earth would you have accepted her as a friend? His dumping you via text message was low. Anyone with any integrity will say it to your face, or at the very bare minimum by phone!
sparklemama Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Im sorry to say but it looks like you may have been the rebound chick.They were together fro 2 yrs and he went back with her so there are still feelings there or he probably knows that she is a sure thing and since he no longer was with you he needed someone that was easy to get because she still has feelings for him.Whatever the situation may have been the fact is he didnt care enough to tell you to your face its over and went back to his ex shows that he isnt worth your time.Dont sit around waiting on answers that most likely will never be given its just going to cause you more pain and keep you tied to him.As hard as it is you have to forget and let them be.You also dont want the drama that this other woman will bring anyway.The fact that she puts you on blast on her blog shows that she is immature and will most likely cause you more headaches than you need.
EmperorR Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Ah the classic cowardly act of dumping through text message, don't worry I was dumped this way as well, yes it was a ldr but I wasn't even worthy of a phone call. And yeah you were the classic rebound chick, you can always tell the signs a partner gets out of a long term relationship, most likely dumped and he wants what he had before the closeness with someone, the relationship etc., usually moves at a fast pace then boom discarded like a coffe cup.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 And you'll find someone who loves you for you, and he'll come crawling back... but by then he wouldn't even have had left an impression you. That's the kind of mindset you should have. It was cowardly of him not to have a face to face confrontation, and it also proves that you had the easy way out. Would you actually want to be stuck with someone with a stalker ex, and someone who jumped on the ex train as fast as he had? Don't think about him anymore. He sounded obviously a waste of your precious time.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I think you were his rebound chick. Seems to me that if they had an on again and off again relationship for 2 years that he was most likely going to go back to his ex. I'm sorry that you are hurting but I think in the long end, you are better off. The relationship does sound like it went WAYYYYYY to fast but being in lust, that happens. If he likes that sort of girl (his ex) that writes negative stuff about him, than let him have her, because you and I both know that that relationship isn't going to work and who will he coming crawling back to....you. And you should be smart enough not to take him back. Although it's 3 months of a relationship, it wasn't any longer than most and as twisted as it sounds, it was better to have known now than later.
Author ogbaby Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 We weren't friends on facebook...I just saw her in a pic comment on his page and peeked at her profile, that's when I discovered all of her blogs about him and me...made public!...but never mentioned it to him.
Author ogbaby Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 We weren't friends...I just noticed her in an old pic comment on his page and peeked at her profile...that's when I discovered all of her blogs about him (and me!) made public!...but I never mentioned it to him.
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