samsungxoxo Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Why is it that to some folks rely on applying a somewhat physical threat or gesture when it comes to your late teenagers or young adult child bad mouthing you. What's up with that anyways?? How effective is that anyways?? Isn't that scooping down to their level?? Let's say dad doesn't have that much of patience when it comes to talking back and even so I would still do it at times. The irony is I don't and wouldn't get intimated if he were to make a threatening remark or do a gesture about it. I myself can't handle being intimated so I would go crazy. You yell and I will yell back at you. You threatened and I will want to lash out at you. Fact in our last screaming argument which I wasn't the one that started yelling (yes I may talked back if provoked but I'm not a violent person) like few months ago I was about to hit him. I even told him so. I was like ''Go ahead, I will hit you back if you start it first''.
Ross PK Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 It's only effective if the child is scared of their parent. You obviously aren't and will hit/shout back, so what he does isn't effective and he surely knows that. The reason why he still does it is just purely out of anger.
carhill Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 At that point, I'd be showing them the door. The real parenting should've taken place years prior
Author samsungxoxo Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 It's only effective if the child is scared of their parent. You obviously aren't and will hit/shout back, so what he does isn't effective and he surely knows that. The reason why he still does it is just purely out of anger. Yes I don't see why still rely on that. I say many times already that I ain't scare of him. Yes he's usually calm but can be short tempered ever now and then. His greatest weakest I notice, lol he can't stand getting yelled nor talked back by a woman so he goes back to being the caveman, resorting to intimidation. He must be thinking that by intimidating a woman, which usually works among most of them (off course many would get scared of a man making intimidating gestures making it sound like they are gonna get hit if they don't shut nor control themselves) but it doesn't work in my case. In fact all it will do is further piss me off and go in rage, giving me yet more power to still talked back. And if they (guys in their caveman ways) wanna threatened me with violence fine with me, I'm ready.
HsMomma Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Even though I'm brand new to the community, I had to comment on this. I have a 14 year old daughter and, for 9 years, was a single parent. I brought her up to respect adults (she's always been required to say "Yes, Ma'am/No Ma'am," "Yes, sir/No, Sir" but maybe that comes from my being from the South originally. Still...if you don't instill respect in children starting at a VERY early age, by the time they're teens/young adults, I believe it's too late. I think the biggest lesson I've tried to teach her is that respect is a two-way street - you must give it to get it. I don't have to yell or threaten her in any way. When she "messes up," we TALK about it. If she were to dare to talk back to me (and she's done it a couple of times - to test me, I'm sure), my response is/has been, "I BEG your pardon?" That's enough to make her back down & apologize. Just my two cents' worth.
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