Sublime333 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I need some guys' perspectives on this. The last guy I dated was very romantic- more so than the average guy. He would text or call allll the time from the very beginning (a little too much actually). Anyway now I'm sort of dating this new guy. We've seen each other 4 or 5 times (in both casual and date settings). He's very nice, acts like a gentleman, and is very laid-back. It's been great when we hang out. I spent the night at his place yadda yadda and it was really fun. When I left he said 'I'll definitely give you a call' and I didn't think twice about it. I left for a few days on a business trip (which he knew about) and expected some sore of communication. Well, it's been about a week and I've heard nada. I'm frustrated because I feel that he waits too long in between seeing each other. I'm not sure if I'm jumping the gun by thinking "he's not into it" b/c of my last boyfriend or if he's really not into me? What's the longest you guys will wait to contact a girl after being on a few dates??
Porn_Guy Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 yadda yadda can you extrapolate on that? What's the longest you guys will wait to contact a girl after being on a few dates?? probably 3 days...maybe 4
Author Sublime333 Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 haha. okay fine. I slept with him. I don't apologize for that. Not to toot my own horn but I'm kinda good and that's definitely not a reason to not call! Too much information? Sorry We talked about it and I made it clear that I didn't want a 'sex-buddy', but at the same time I was not asking for a full on relationship (Now THAT would be jumping the gun!). Yeah, 3/4 days seems reasonable. A week? It's just annoying. He'll probably end up calling, but I just don't like it.
Porn_Guy Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Yeah, 3/4 days seems reasonable. A week? It's just annoying. He'll probably end up calling, but I just don't like it. yes, no matter what women say before sex they usually end up becoming very possessive of a man after having sex....relax, your feminine feelings are natural and expected. he may call he may not. but if he doesn't call within the next few days you may want to write him off as a bad debt and, er, why can't u call him? after all it is the day and age of womens lib were females are flying Boeing 777s and doing brain surgery.
alphamale Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 We talked about it and I made it clear that I didn't want a 'sex-buddy', but at the same time I was not asking for a full on relationship basically you just gave him carte blanche to do whatever he wants, so he's just following your directions
BootsElectric Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 This is the problem with communication. It's impossible to know what he's thinking so here's some ideas. 1. He met someone else (probably not) 2. He's under stress from some outside influence 3. Is trying to assert his dominance by being the one to be pursued, and not chase. 4. Any other multitude of things... I'd suggest talking to him. Personally, I talk to the woman I'm seeing at least every other day, though I grow weary of always being the one to initiate. Just call him, be open.
prettybaby Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I wouldn't worry about it. Your relationship is still at its early stages. The guy I'm dating now didn't initiate much contact in the beginning. I think it was a mix of him being a bit shy and also not wanting to sound clingy or overwhelming. And if your guy has a busy life on top of it, then yeah. If you like him, just call him. No big deal. I never found it a problem to initiate contact myself in the beginning. If they really care about you, they'll initiate some more after a while. In any case, don't just sit there and not contact him while wondering what's up. I'll never understand women who do this and then assume "I guess he wasn't worth it; his loss". Well no, it's your loss for not even calling to see how he was doing. Some guys are just shy, or super careful, or busy, or are just not that big on calling/texting people they're not yet sharing a well established relationship with. Did he know when exactly you'd be back from your trip? I can understand him not calling you during your business trip; he probably didn't want to bother you.
GAchasen Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I'm going to say he is not that into you and I'm going to explain why. First of all if a man is interested he will call...thats it. I've been dating this guy for 4 months and he started out calling every 4 days. Then it went up from there. Unless this guy really is busy (kind of like the President), then I would say he has moved on. Another thought would be to call him. If he calls you back 2 days later then that is your answer. Why put so much energy into a man who isn't doing the same? I wouldn't waste my time anymore...
sultry33 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 i think if he changes his pattern for no apparent reason then thats a sign of low interest.. i tend to be a text communicator.. a guy i met recently texts me almost daily and calls a fewtimes..think may have used all his credit as usually 2-3 hr calls.. not heard from him since thursday early hrs of the morning.. i sent 2 small messages..now its up to him. we have not had a date yet but only met a week ago so im not too worried. so basically only worry if its not the norm..
Recommended Posts