pollywag Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 If I had it, it happened to pop up on a pap, I wouldn't tell any guy I was sleeping with. There's no way to trace who you got it from, if the guy you're with already has it, But that's exactly how you spread it, don't you see that?
Art_Critic Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 No. It's not selfish. Doctors state that there is no reason to tell, just because you are an HPV carrier. If I had it, it happened to pop up on a pap, I wouldn't tell any guy I was sleeping with. There's no way to trace who you got it from, if the guy you're with already has it, if he'll give it to his next partner and if he actually got it from me or someone else before me, if the partner already had it before he met her...... I'm not being labeled with having it when he could very well have it....I'm not a drama creator and doctors say it's so prevalent there's no need to "disclose" as people say. Sorry, it's not the same as herpes. I'm going with what doctors say. I would consider it if there were a test for men....but since there isn't...I'm not telling...doctors say don't bother, either. I sure am glad I never dated anyone like you during my dating years.. This is just my opinion of course... My Mom is a retired RN nurse that mostly took care of HIV and AIDS patients the last 15 years of her career and I can you without a doubt that no doctor in her hospital would recommend hiding an STD from a partner.
pollywag Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 She has an STD if it doesn't matter and it is not even worth mentioning and doctors tell you not to tell anyone why would they even bother telling her that she has it? If it really is not a anything to discuss why even discuss it with the patient to begin with? Some people here are making it sound like the doctor told her her blood pressure level was one point close to being too low. This topic makes me SO mad! I am very passionate about this. OP stop playing coy and do the right thing, tell the guy and any guy you are about to have sex with. Wouldn't you have liked it if someone told you?
Cherished Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 HIV and HPV are very different things. HPV...80% of men are around carrying it, why should I bother to tell them when ironically they have it too. I haven't been diagnosed with it according to my exam results. So all these women who do happen to know they are simply carrying HPV, with no symptoms....they tell the men they're about to sleep with, and he decides not to. Well guess what? Statistically he probably already has it. Or they use a condom...this won't help because HPV is skin to skin contact, a condom won't help. It's not fair that there is no test for men yet 80% of them carry it, too. Doctors say there's no reason to tell. So if it ever did show up during one of my exams, guess what, I'm not telling and I am a very morally upright person with integrity. This is my business. Now herpes and HIV are very, very different. Yes hpv can cause cervical cancer but this is very well under control if you have your yearly exams and if there ARE (and this is actually the rare exception) abnormal, then the cells are simply removed, it's very well controlled situation. But some guy could give you warts and HE didn't tell you he had HPV...because he didn't know, so I'M not telling, either. Same as if you slept with a guy and didn't know you had it in your system, then you go to get your exam and find out you're a carrier of the HPV. Ummm, I'm not calling the dude or telling him. It's my private business.
Cherished Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Wouldn't you have liked it if someone told you? I guess, but guys have no way of knowing if they have it or not so they won't tell.
Art_Critic Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 But some guy could give you warts and HE didn't tell you he had HPV...because he didn't know, so I'M not telling, either. That is such a thoughtful thing Cherished.. it goes to show that your a thoughtful person and care about people....
BannaBee57 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 For HPV, which really is not on the same level at ALL as HIV or herpes? You can have HPV and never know you had it at all, with absolutely no symptoms, in fact that is usually what happens. I think it's true for a lot of STDs that you can be an asymptomatic carrier and still pass them on, especially herpes, which you're so fond of comparing to HPV. HPV isn't special or exclusive that way and just because you don't know you have it deosn't make it unimportant. Ever hear the phrase "silent killer"? On a side note, herpes (unlike some strains of HPV) can't kill you. Stop trying to deemphasize the importance of disclosure by comparing it to something worse in your eyes. I think it would be extremely selfish to not disclose this info to someone just because they "could" have it already. Why would you even think that you could make that decision for someone else? To the OP, it must be tough to have to figure out how to disclose this info to someone, but the fact that you posted here shows that you do intend on telling this guy. Just do it before sex...which I think you intended to do anyway
Cherished Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 That is such a thoughtful thing Cherished.. it goes to show that your a thoughtful person and care about people.... I am a very thoughtful person and care about people. However I don't expect a guy to tell me he has HPV....because he really doesn't know if he does or not....so I'm not divulging this personal status, especially with a virus which usually has no consequences and leaves most peoples' bodies. With your logic, I could swear a guy out for having sex with me because he could possibly have it. If you have sex, you can't prevent it anyway except by no sex. condoms don't work to prevent HPV.
Cherished Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 HPV is controlled with your yearly visits. If you have sex, you have an 80% chance of having HPV, and you might have it and might not even know it. No point of telling because the guy probably has it anyway. I think it's true for a lot of STDs that you can be an asymptomatic carrier and still pass them on, especially herpes, which you're so fond of comparing to HPV. HPV isn't special or exclusive that way and just because you don't know you have it deosn't make it unimportant. Ever hear the phrase "silent killer"? On a side note, herpes (unlike some strains of HPV) can't kill you. Stop trying to deemphasize the importance of disclosure by comparing it to something worse in your eyes. I think it would be extremely selfish to not disclose this info to someone just because they "could" have it already. Why would you even think that you could make that decision for someone else? To the OP, it must be tough to have to figure out how to disclose this info to someone, but the fact that you posted here shows that you do intend on telling this guy. Just do it before sex...which I think you intended to do anyway
Chicago_Guy Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 She has an STD if it doesn't matter and it is not even worth mentioning and doctors tell you not to tell anyone why would they even bother telling her that she has it? If it really is not a anything to discuss why even discuss it with the patient to begin with? Some people here are making it sound like the doctor told her her blood pressure level was one point close to being too low. This topic makes me SO mad! I am very passionate about this. OP stop playing coy and do the right thing, tell the guy and any guy you are about to have sex with. Wouldn't you have liked it if someone told you? This thread reminds me of one I saw on Plentyoffish.com where some people were arguing that Herpes was no big deal and that anyone worried about that disease was just being ignorant.
Die Hard Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Word to the wise my male brothers, always where a condom and keep it on tight, and all night! I always knew there were women out there who didn't care about infecting men(I'm sure some men do the same.) It's not just about pregnancy! Protect yourself because the only one who cares about your body is YOU!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 An STD is an STD is an STD. True, some are more dangerous than others, and some are more common than others. But if you care about the person you are sleeping with, then you should be giving them the information they need to protect their sexual health. Case closed. If you don't, then you are being selfish and only caring about your own needs. Can you imagine if someone had AIDS and had sex with you without disclosing? It's about doing the right thing. It ain't all about you! (No, I'm not speaking directly to OP here. Just a generalization).
carhill Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Yeah, to me, the issue is intimacy and trust. I mean, if you're intimate enough to have sexual contact in a romantic relationship, why not be open and honest about such things as health issues? Outside of an interpersonal relationship, I guess it's every person for themselves. Haven't had that experience so I wouldn't be able to offer experience.
pollywag Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 But some guy could give you warts and HE didn't tell you he had HPV...because he didn't know, so I'M not telling, either. Yes but it is a tell tail sign of morality because YOU know you have it, he doesn't! See the difference? It's like saying I know I am going to die eventually so why tell men that I am going to die? But if I found out you had a few months to live it is your moral obligation to let a man who is emotionally involved with you know that you will be gone in a few months. CherryBlossom, yes exactly it is about doing the right thing! Otherwise it is extremely selfish and you are perpetuating the spread. Why do people feel the need to play god, or is it devil? Furthermore I keep reading that more than 50% of the population will be exposed to strains of it, so that means there is still half a chance you WON'T get it. Plus there is an alarming increase of this in the demographic of women of age 15-24 in the US. What does that tell you? So any woman who decides to play god in this instance is just acting in a self serving manner and a very ignorant manner. If you are too immature to handle the repercussions of sexual intimacy you should not be having sex.
Author rlindzie Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 i told him. and he is ok with it. i was always going to tell him just when i was unseure of when.
carhill Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 ......Happy to hear both. What about the discussion, if anything, tipped the balance in favor of disclosure now?
boxing123 Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Yeah, some people like to get off-topic and question your veracity by digging up old posts, it's annoying. they think they're the "truth police" or something. Anyway, if you don't have any symptoms of HPV, doctors say there is absolutely no reason to disclose. This guy probably has it, too, and just doesn't know it, yet there is no test....so how fair is that???? Just don't tell. Wow....Talk about selfish..
Isolde Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Truthfully, I don't understand HPV very well. Apparently you can have it for years before it shows up on a test? And sometimes the body gets rid of it on its own and sometimes it doesn't? I've read so many different accounts, some make it seem like no big deal whereas others make it sound kind of scary.
pollywag Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 i told him. and he is ok with it. i was always going to tell him just when i was unseure of when. Good for you rlindzie!!! I am very happy this worked out for you and now you can start off your relationship on the right foot.
missdependant Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 What kind of HPV are we talking here? There are like 100 different strains. Some involve warts, others involve cervical cancer.. some involve NO side effects. And 50% of the population is already infected with it anyway. When men get it they don't notice it, and in fact can't even be tested for it. So yeah.. be upfront with him before you get too attached. If he's smart enough, he'll know that there's a 50% chance he already has it. MOST of which don't know. I feel bad for men. They can't even be tested for it. They probably live their lives spreading it to a bunch of different people without even knowing it. And then we get stuck with the cervical cancer. Ouch.
mr.dream merchant Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I was always curious about this. Are males just carriers for the HPV strain? Or can we endure the strains hazardous effects as well? Or is it like a color blindness case where one gender can carry it but the other is the only one affected by it?
carhill Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 The low-risk strains which produce warts will show up on both men and women, but it appears to a much lesser degree on men. Hence, some who do not practice stringent genital hygiene would likely not notice them. If the strain doesn't produce warts, then the man shows no symptoms but still carries the virus. That's my understanding.
missdependant Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I was always curious about this. Are males just carriers for the HPV strain? Or can we endure the strains hazardous effects as well? Or is it like a color blindness case where one gender can carry it but the other is the only one affected by it? Here is the common scenario. You have HPV. Girl has just had a yearly exam and did not come up positive for it. You meet this girl and fall into a committed relationship. You're the only person she's been with since her last exam. She goes in for her next annual, and is told she is infected with HPV. Therefore, making you the carrier, but even then.. I'm not completely sure if it can go unnoticed from a prior PAP. If she was staying faithful the whole time, that means you infected her. Both are carriers for it. If you get it, it was most likely transmitted from a former sexual partner. But you would have had absolutely not way of knowing.
missdependant Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 The low-risk strains which produce warts will show up on both men and women, but it appears to a much lesser degree on men. Hence, some who do not practice stringent genital hygiene would likely not notice them. If the strain doesn't produce warts, then the man shows no symptoms but still carries the virus. That's my understanding. Yes. And it isn't very common for warts to show up. Also, it is believed that HPV in men is linked to anal and prostate cancer later in life.
Author rlindzie Posted April 6, 2009 Author Posted April 6, 2009 men and women carry all strains. men and women get warts [low risk strain] which is NOT uncommon. Women who have the high risk strain can get cervical cancer if left unchecked. if you have warts you can still get the cancer strain and vis versa. you will have it for life, but outbreaks are not frequent. you will be able to spread the virus for life with or with out a outbreak. it only shows up in blood work if you have HAD it, than the body remembers the virus and therefor it shows up in the test. that is how i did not know i had it untill i got an outbreak. i had had two prior tests that twere both negative. blood work is only telling yo if your body remembers having it, therefor you could have it for moths or years befor it will show up.
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