Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Before I start, please don't post horrible remarks etc becuase i'm already beating myself up about it... I'll start from the beginning... Been with my boyfriend for a few years and we don't exactly have the perfect relationship.. But i've always had a wierd feeling that his brother likes me/wants to sleep with me or something along them lines One particulary sat it was my bf sisters 18th party, and my bf's brother came up to me n started chatting... I've always liked him but not in THAT way, he's good looking etc but I knew nothing would ever happen. Then he said to me 'why can't it be us two together', I sat there and said nothing.. he looked at me then came out with 'I know nothing could ever happen but it would have been nice' or some s***t like that.. Fast forward two years... At my bf's Mums one weekend and his brother asks me if i go on facebook much, so i said yeh a bit and thought nothing more of it... I got home and to my shock horror he had sent me a msg asking if he remembered what he told me at his sisters party... I denied it, then he mentioned that it involved the word 'fun' (WHERE THE HELL DOES THE WORD FUN GET MENTIONED AT HIS SIS PARTY?!). So then I had no choice but to say that I remembered. He started asking me questions like if I wanted to do anything, and I said no.. For about two weeks he was pestering me, and I eventually gave in (WHICH I SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE!!). A few days later I msg'd him on facebook and told him it was wierd etc and he said he understood and we left it at that. 2 MONTHS LATER... He sent me ANOTHER message asking if I missed him, I replied with no... One thing led to another and now he thinks i'm his f(ck buddy.. What is he playing at? Someone help me before I go out of my mind. I'm pretty sure it's only sex he wants. We communicate through facebook, and he compliments me when I told him not to, and says he likes to be affectionate. I told him not to do that either, and he said he wants too and said I should deserve to be treat right, saying he is going to cover my body in kisses etc (sad i know).. He is real wierd the way he talks in his messages, I know Men try to be nice to get u into bed n crap but come on! What IS he thinking? someone please talk to me about it.
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 p.s sorry for the looong story.
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Pretty vague, are you saying that you hooked up with your BFs brother?
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 yes, it's a real bad situation i have got myself into :(
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 If your relationship with your boyfriend is that bad. Just tell him and move on. Unless that is of course, that your relationship wasn't really that bad and you are saying it is, to make you feel better about cheating?
theBrokenMuse Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 What IS he thinking? someone please talk to me about it. Forget what he is thinking. Anyone that would do something like that to their own sibling is not exactly a shinning example of humanity and all the excuses in the world for acting like such a backstabbing pig isn't enough to justify that he is one messed up person for what he's doing behind his brother's back. The more important question is: What ARE YOU thinking?! Seriously. I'm not here to bash you but you sholud break up with your BF, today. You are obviously not ready to be in a relationship if you are making such glaringly poor choices as sleeping with his own family members. If he knew about this he probably would break things off with you and as it stands, this is not the kind of thing that will remain a secret forever. He will learn about it eventually. At least leave him with the little bit of dignity he has left. You need to learn to have better boundaries. There are some that should never be crossed and that's one of them. Why didn't you tell your BF immediately when his brother hit on you rather than impassively let his brother lead you around by the hand this whole time?
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 I don't mean to sound rude but you're giving an opinion on the parts im not interested in. I know i'm wrong for doing this, and yes my relationship is bad, my bf can be such a **** but I know that's no excuse to behave this way. I want to know why his brother is hitting on me, knowing full well i'm with his brother, and even after saying no to him he comes back for more... I feel so ashamed..
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Also, I think what drove me to do it is the fact my boyfriend came home one night with a pair of knickers which he said belonged to my sister, so please don't say that I'M the backstabbing pig...
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Will the one brother tell the other if they get in an argument?
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 No, becuase before it all started he was saying stuff like 'Ive got something to tell you but don't know if i can trust you'..
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 You base your confidence with someone who betrayed his brother, in the fact that he said he had "a secret to tell you"?
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 At the time I didn't have a clue what he was on about, in all honesty i thought he was going to tell me something about my boyfriend. Why is he doing this? I know i'm just as bad but it was him that started all of this.
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 I'll jump to the point. You're concerned that he now looks at you like a f buddy. Well, to tell you the truth, here is what I see. He does look at you like that. And if he is as big a piece of s**t to do his brothers girlfriend, he is as big a piece of sh** to throw out hints that he will tell his brother, so he can A. have you all to himself. B. continue to use you as his f buddy C. Throw it in his brothers face when he gets mad at him. You need to tell your boyfriend. Why? A. because if you care for him at all, you can't keep this from him. B. because your BFs brother will continue to pressure you for sex. C. If your BF finds out, you will have no chance of getting past this. Did your sister confess to scre*ing your BF?
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 At the time I didn't have a clue what he was on about, in all honesty i thought he was going to tell me something about my boyfriend. Why is he doing this? I know i'm just as bad but it was him that started all of this. Now I'm going to get up in your grill a little over this last comment. Are you not in control of your vagin*a? Did he sneak it in, when you weren't wearing panties? You are equally at fault. When was the exact moment you knew that you had messed up?
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 I haven't talked to her about it as it's pretty embarassing to bring up the fact that MY boyfriend has HER knickers. But for some reason she hates him, could this be why? She has also slept with her best friends ex and our other sister boyfriends too. Do you think he will tell him? He doesn't seem that type of person to blackmail me or anything like that.
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Now I'm going to get up in your grill a little over this last comment. Are you not in control of your vagin*a? Did he sneak it in, when you weren't wearing panties? You are equally at fault. When was the exact moment you knew that you had messed up? Yes I know i'm in control etc but what i ment was that he came onto me... Well the first time I did it out of anger after the whole 'knicker' episode. So it was the second time that I knew I had messed up, but looking back it was obviously the first time it happened.
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Yes I did. It was the second time. Why?
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 So then you did it twice with him. You now understand why he thinks of you as an fbuddy. It sounds like everyone is doing everyone else in your circle of friends and family. You need to confront your sister, in the first place. Then you need to tell your bf. If it costs you the relationship (which I don't think it will because, as I said, apparently everyone is screwing everyone else) that's what screwing up is all about. Learn from you mistakes and be a better person next time. You don't need to drive up to dover (if you are in England)and throw your self off. You also need to get tested for STDs NOW!
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 I know, it all sounds f*cked up lol I do get myself checked for std's regulary... Yes I did it twice, but not once did I mention the word **** buddy. What pi**es me off the most is that he can go out n sleep with someone else, so why try it on with his brother gf?
2sure Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Well, clearly he see you as, and would like you to be his FWB. But it sounds like more than wanting to have that...he is really enjoying the whole secret taboo thing of banging his brother's gf. He continues regardless of your protests because : Your No, apparently doesnt mean No & because he is getting a kick out of the spot he has put you in. Like you said, you dont want criticism for what you have already done...OK. But this guy is more interested in the fact that you are his brothers gf than in you for yourself. He likes that its wrong and he likes that it makes you uncomfortable.
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Yeah, I suppose I can only blame myself for saying no then doing different. What does FWB mean pls? I need to get the point of 'No' across but apart of me is scared that he will do something about it.
lostsunsets Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 So, what about talking to your BF and your sister?
Author Confused12345 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Yeh I want to know what happened with all that, but the question is do I do it before or after I tell him the other thing?
theBrokenMuse Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Also, I think what drove me to do it is the fact my boyfriend came home one night with a pair of knickers which he said belonged to my sister, so please don't say that I'M the backstabbing pig... I said his BROTHER IS a backstabbing pig, thus what he is thinking is a mute point.
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