CM2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Hello folks my wife and I have gave each other space. We've been married for 3 yrs and I have 2 step kids out of the ordeal. I love my wife and kids dearly but my wife and I have been having problems, she wanted space and I gave it to her. So lately we've been talking and text'n a lil bit back and forth the last few days about small stuff. I went out of town for business and didn't tell her til the night before. So while I was gone she called me and wanted her and I to go to dinner Friday night just to hang out. So my question is how do I handle this scenerio? Any advice is welcomed. And by the way we're supposed to meet on Sunday to talk about our future within this marriage.
boldjack Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 By all means go to dinner, have a good time, but on no account tell her that you love her, miss her or in any way act needy or lonely. You realize that this may be her trying to get you back or it may be that she is letting you down easily in preparation for a permanent split. Let her do most of the talking and be nomcommittal, to see where it is going. Good luck
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 By all means go to dinner, have a good time, but on no account tell her that you love her, miss her or in any way act needy or lonely. You realize that this may be her trying to get you back or it may be that she is letting you down easily in preparation for a permanent split. Let her do most of the talking and be nomcommittal, to see where it is going. Good luck EXACTLY. Excellent advice. When I split from my XH, and when I was still open to possibly reuniting, he pushed too hard and it turned me off big time. Before he completely F'd it up (by keeping a huge lie from me), if he had done this: http://al.turtlecounseling.com/blog/_archives/2005/3/8/410458.html , there would have been a chance.
Author CM2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Yeah my sister said the samething "keep your words to a minimum"
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 The less you say, the more she will babble. Best to make it seem like you are doing her a favor by going out, keep your conversation to a minimum. Look at your watch a lot, and cut the date short with no explanation. Do not let her talk about emotional stuff or your marriage. If she brings it up, tell her you don't want to talk about it. Be pleasant, friendly, polite and distant - no warmth, no 'missing you', none of that. As if you have a girlfriend waiting for you to get back from the obligatory 'ex wife' meeting. It will throw her for a loop, but you have to make it clear that if she wants you back, she will have to fight for you and hard. May as well give her a good one. They tend to rethink 'space' when you force it on them twice what they handed you.
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