Beautiful Inside Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 so im feeling really down lately its getting worse... i know some people can relate to my situation...ill try to keep it short guys.... basically ive been doing escrow since i got out of high school back in 2003 and i loved it ever year i was making more and more money plus commissions on ever escrow i closed! it was amazing i was always getting a new car (new lease) and helping my family out with bills and food etc... when i was in relationships i was always able to contribute 50/50 and it felt so great to able to do that! i was feeling more independent then ever thats all ive ever know ive never grew up with money or being spoiled i've never had one thing handed to me i had to work for everything i have...i was always proud of everything i accomplished or had cause i did it on my own it made it that more special! well my parade ended back in august 2007 when things started to get a little worse in the real estate market.... i was laid off with a company i was with for a long time and making such great money for being 21 years old it was amazing!!!! well i was on unemployment for about a month then i knew another escrow officer who contacted me an asked me if i wanted to open a new escrow and title office with her back in September 2007 i was all for it!!! well things didn't last long i was only there for about 9 months or less and then i quit cause of stupid office drama... anyways i have not been able to find one legit stable job since its like i go online everyday and look for jobs but there literally nothing! well now that ive been in my latest relationship for about 2 years now i felt complexly like a LOSER straight up nothing says it better we dated and i had that last escrow job for about 9 months but after that i was miserable i feel like so dependent so needy i have nothing anymore. im broke i have so much money i owe on credit cards not for shopping but for things like medical or emergencies when i was unemployed or registrations down payments, girly essential (tampons etc) etc... i just feel like my s/o might look down upon me i feel like im this loser now that has nothing going for herself....nothing i once had going for me matters anymore....i cry all the time....to make matters worse my s/o is completely spoiled and gets everything he wants dont get me wrong he works for it he works for his parents a/c company but still they are veryyyy leaniate with him...but still he's always getting new things and im over here broke as a joke dont have no money and im so sad.... i feel horrible that i cant help out with anything thanx for listening to me i just really needed to vent....
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