Jump to content

Why would my boyfriend Suddenly STOP emailing me after seeing his Ex Wife ? redflag

Nagini

By Nagini
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
Posted

...................

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted

not strange at all if a man wants no trail left of his communication with you.

 

sounds like he may be getting back together with her and doesn't want her to find out that he's still in contact with you.

 

omg... is this the same guy that disappeared every tuesday and saturday night? why are you torturing yourself with a guy that is so deceitful and who isn't capable of honesty?

 

not only does he have his XW but it looked like he had another gal going at the same time too.

 

did you ever ask him straight up and feel like you got an honest answer???

  • Author
Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
  • Author
Posted
not strange at all if a man wants no trail left of his communication with you.

 

sounds like he may be getting back together with her and doesn't want her to find out that he's still in contact with you.

 

omg... is this the same guy that disappeared every tuesday and saturday night? why are you torturing yourself with a guy that is so deceitful and who isn't capable of honesty?

 

not only does he have his XW but it looked like he had another gal going at the same time too.

 

did you ever ask him straight up and feel like you got an honest answer???

we got over the tuesday and saturday night thing (he did have biz dinners on those missing tuesdays)

but apparently his exwife heard about me first week of feb after i met their kid. the offspring apparently told her about me and it seems she has been trying to make contact since then.

 

i caught him texting her when we were in the middle of a date

she emailed him that she had urgent question

 

we got over that but now she made him late for a date with me by creating a lame sounding emergency

 

now last week she suddenly turned up at an event for families ... he had planned to only be there alone with their child and he said he was suprised she turned up at the event ... he said he told her he was going to see me after the event but she claimed her parent was sick so he had to keep their kid that night and couldnt see me after all (his child was there when he called me saturday night after the event.... asking dad ( my current bf) to put them to bed )

 

im not shocked...

 

anyway my bf still calls me twice a day BUT for many months we stayed in touch ALSO via email.

 

2-3 times a day

 

now i noticed he wont even reply to emails of mine.

not even important ones. it is like he suddenly doesnt want any trace of contacting me online.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted
we got over the tuesday and saturday night thing (he did have biz dinners on those missing tuesdays)

but apparently his exwife heard about me first week of feb after i met their son. the son apparenty told her about me and it seems she has been trying to make contact since then.

 

i caught him texting her when we when to a movie two weeks ago

she emailed him that she had urgent question

 

we got over that but now she made him late for a date with me by creating a lame sounding work emergency

 

now last week she suddenly turned up at an event for families ... he had planned to only be there alone with their son and he said he was suprised she turned up at the event ... he said he told her he was going to see me after the event but she claimed her dad was sick so he had to keep their son that night and couldnt see me after all (his son was there when he called me saturday night after the event.... asking his dad to put him to bed )

 

im not shocked...

 

anyway my bf still calls me twice a day BUT for many months we stayed in touch ALSO via email.

 

2-3 times a day

 

now i noticed he wont even reply to emails of mine.

not even important ones. it is like he suddenly doesnt want any trace of shared affection

 

he probably blocked you so it doesn't even come in. he calls... so his words mean one thing - but his actions still say something is "off"

 

the picture of the "other" gal on facebook... what about that? and what did he use for his excuse on that one.

 

any way you look at it - the guy is slimy - i'd want nothing to do with wondering about all the mysteries that seem to surround this joker.

 

why are you so desperate to keep him when you stated last month that you have other guys interested?

 

also, have there been many other Saturdays since last month where he goes MIA during the course of the evening like he used to? and Tuesdays still as well...

  • Author
Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
  • Author
Posted
he probably blocked you so it doesn't even come in. he calls... so his words mean one thing - but his actions still say something is "off"

 

the picture of the "other" gal on facebook... what about that? and what did he use for his excuse on that one.

 

any way you look at it - the guy is slimy - i'd want nothing to do with wondering about all the mysteries that seem to surround this joker.

 

why are you so desperate to keep him when you stated last month that you have other guys interested?

 

also, have there been many other Saturdays since last month where he goes MIA during the course of the evening like he used to? and Tuesdays still as well...

 

 

well he doesnt comment on her page at all.

but she must feel open towards contacting him

 

he did just email me that he is having an affair with my cellphone and not my email now. :rolleyes:

 

he has stopped going mia. he has called every night over last 3-4 weeks.

usually its during playing some annoying video game or while watching a movie.

 

doesnt matter in the long run, i have to take a job offer that was given to me a second time and move nearly 3 hours away mid june. ;)

Mary3 Established Member

Mary3

Posted
Posted

You are being U S E D !

 

This is rebound city at its finest . NEITHER of them is over the other .

 

He is shaking you under her nose to get her riled. He texts her in the middle of your date. Something SO urgent could have waited.

 

I would DUMP !

 

He needs no contact with her for a minimum of so many months. But I believe you said they have a child so thats difficult.

 

You can't WIN.

 

Get out ! Now while you have some of your sanity. 3~~ somes just dont work relationship wise.

  • Author
Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You are being U S E D !

 

This is rebound city at its finest . NEITHER of them is over the other .

 

He is shaking you under her nose to get her riled. He texts her in the middle of your date. Something SO urgent could have waited.

 

I would DUMP !

 

He needs no contact with her for a minimum of so many months. But I believe you said they have a child so thats difficult.

 

You can't WIN.

 

Get out ! Now while you have some of your sanity. 3~~ somes just dont work relationship wise.

 

 

he isnt over her. with her its a pure ego thing

she refused to speak directly with him for a year

 

(they used the nanny to talk back and forth and the nanny even said on speakerphone that his exwife didnt want to be home when he came to get their child)

the wife iniated the divorce 3 years ago

he kept trying to get back together.

 

she just must like him pursuing her forever.

 

which is sick.

 

and now he'll be left alone again when I leave.

Mary3 Established Member

Mary3

Posted
Posted
he isnt over her. with her its a pure ego thing

she refused to speak directly with him for a year

 

(they used the nanny to talk back and forth and the nanny even said on speakerphone that his exwife didnt want to be home when he came to get their child)

the wife iniated the divorce 3 years ago

he kept trying to get back together.

 

she just must like him pursuing her forever.

 

which is sick.

 

and now he'll be left alone again when I leave.

 

Sick Sick ! Get out . Glad you see this for what it is....always someone has to get hurt when these idiots are not OVER the other person and hurt the new person coming in..

Cherry Blossom 35 Established Member

Cherry Blossom 35

Posted
Posted

Mary 3 is RIGHT!!!!!

  • Author
Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Sick Sick ! Get out . Glad you see this for what it is....always someone has to get hurt when these idiots are not OVER the other person and hurt the new person coming in..

 

 

and I already went thru same damn thing with a guy who wasnt over his ex fiancee who left him.

 

ya know people complain women are the ones who have baggage. No its men who dont know how to deal and move on !

redant Established Member

redant

Posted
Posted

I went through the same a couple of times. I hope you get a good one next time around. I don't know the whole situation, but he is still dealing with alot of drama. It could work, but seems as if you are unsure and not forthcoming with him. Maybe you don't want him either? Think about what you want try not to worry about him or what he's doing. Good luck. Congrats on your new job.

LucreziaBorgia Established Member

LucreziaBorgia

Posted
Posted

Narcissists need attention from everyone. It is not surprising that he needs it from his ex. You'll find that a good deal of narcissists have trouble leaving the past in the past because they can't give up that 'supply' and will fight to keep it on some level. Rarely is it about anything approaching 'normal relationship' stuff though. Just the equivalent of a crackhead looking for more crack. If you leave, he'll pester you the same way regardless of how many other girlfriends he has at the time.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted
he isnt over her. with her its a pure ego thing

she refused to speak directly with him for a year

 

(they used the nanny to talk back and forth and the nanny even said on speakerphone that his exwife didnt want to be home when he came to get their child)

the wife iniated the divorce 3 years ago

he kept trying to get back together.

she just must like him pursuing her forever.

 

which is sick.

 

and now he'll be left alone again when I leave.

 

the comments you make about HIM and HIS feelings and actions toward her state that he definitely still cares for HER.

 

why would you then refer to him as your boyfriend? are they divorced or still waiting for it to be finalized? either way - his thoughts and efforts are always considering her first.

 

and the last comment "now he'll be alone again when i leave" can you clarify the meaning of that comment? why would he be alone? he has a child... an ex wife to consider and considers them his top priority (obviously by his actions). i don't see that as "alone" at all.

 

even when he's on the phone with you he's distracted... movie, video games, etc... he gives half an effort in your direction - if that. what happened to time spent alone together with no distractions. has he given you much of that or is it usually time being with you and juggling a lot of other things while he's present.

 

also, why the phone and email so much instead of in person? if he REALLY, REALLY liked you - he would find a way to physically BE with you often. and as in often, i mean often enough for you to not wonder about all these other things he's constantly doing that say he has other priorities and you are low on the totem pole.

  • Author
Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
  • Author
Posted
the comments you make about HIM and HIS feelings and actions toward her state that he definitely still cares for HER.

 

why would you then refer to him as your boyfriend? are they divorced or still waiting for it to be finalized? either way - his thoughts and efforts are always considering her first.

 

and the last comment "now he'll be alone again when i leave" can you clarify the meaning of that comment? why would he be alone? he has a child... an ex wife to consider and considers them his top priority (obviously by his actions). i don't see that as "alone" at all.

 

even when he's on the phone with you he's distracted... movie, video games, etc... he gives half an effort in your direction - if that. what happened to time spent alone together with no distractions. has he given you much of that or is it usually time being with you and juggling a lot of other things while he's present.

 

also, why the phone and email so much instead of in person? if he REALLY, REALLY liked you - he would find a way to physically BE with you often. and as in often, i mean often enough for you to not wonder about all these other things he's constantly doing that say he has other priorities and you are low on the totem pole.

 

 

2Sunny

 

I finally got ALL my answers and proof tonight.

We went out on a doubledate

while my now ex boyfriend was feeding the parking meter, his friend asked if i had heard about 'Deb-----' and said I seem great and to not mention it to him.

wow i was very confused that someone would suddenly try and warn me

 

i came home and googled her name

she is the woman my now exbf called his 'crazy stalker exgf' and ALSO the same woman he was in a photo with two weeks AFTER claming that and claimed woman in photo was a total stranger

 

 

WOAHHHHHHHHHH

 

amazing.

 

im free.

 

i deleted him off facebook and emailed me that i know he cheats and to never contact me again.

 

evil man.

  • Author
Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Narcissists need attention from everyone. It is not surprising that he needs it from his ex. You'll find that a good deal of narcissists have trouble leaving the past in the past because they can't give up that 'supply' and will fight to keep it on some level. Rarely is it about anything approaching 'normal relationship' stuff though. Just the equivalent of a crackhead looking for more crack. If you leave, he'll pester you the same way regardless of how many other girlfriends he has at the time.

 

 

He is the king of all narcissists. Im hanging out on the runboard site that was transitioned over from the old MSN board on it.

I have to learn all about these scumsuckers in order to avoid their stench again.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted
2Sunny

 

I finally got ALL my answers and proof tonight.

We went out on a doubledate

while my now ex boyfriend was feeding the parking meter, his friend asked if i had heard about 'Deb-----' and said I seem great and to not mention it to him.

wow i was very confused that someone would suddenly try and warn me

 

i came home and googled her name

she is the woman my now exbf called his 'crazy stalker exgf' and ALSO the same woman he was in a photo with two weeks AFTER claming that and claimed woman in photo was a total stranger

 

 

WOAHHHHHHHHHH

 

amazing.

 

im free.

 

i deleted him off facebook and emailed me that i know he cheats and to never contact me again.

 

evil man.

 

interesting... your "gut" told you this was true several weeks back... his actions said something else was going on as well.

 

now you have the solid proof that you need, that's awesome. it allows you to move forward without the concern of whether or not to wonder about him and/or his character.

 

if he would have just been honest when you asked him it wouldn't have mattered - but he chose to lie about ALL of it! :mad::eek:

 

now you are free to move forward... don't waste another thought on this self centered guy... he will try to reach you eventually - you know that, right?

  • Author
Nagini Established Member

Nagini

Posted
  • Author
Posted

now you are free to move forward... don't waste another thought on this self centered guy... he will try to reach you eventually - you know that, right?

I am free to move forward, but wow the anger stage is both fun and exhausting.

Im so pissed I feel like I could light a million cities with the energy of my rancor.

of course as I live and breathe the jerk will contact me

im sure he will concoct a DOOZY of a story

such as he HAD to bring her to dinner because she is suicidal poor thing

 

LOL whatever

 

ive told every living soul i even barely know about this story.

 

its very cathartic to see peoples' outrage.

 

actually dating him was a good thing.

i was planning to date an ex boyfriend of mine BEFORE I dated him.

Now I WONT be re dating another exbf.

that exbf once cheated on another gf.

My rule. if a guy has ever cheatedon ANYONE, i wont date him

sure a lot of people lie. but they are often loving lies or lies out of vanity.

A selfish cheating liar lie ?

Sorry i wont date or redate any man who fails that way.

 

period

 

all the best to you sunny !

 

:love:

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...