mmk1 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I broke up with my ex in August b/c I wanted to spend more time with her and I did not feel she made me a priority. She said at the time that she would not take me back after that. After trying to get back together, I tried the friends thing last fall. After that became too painful, I went NC at Christmas time until just recently. My ex works in a small firm owned by my best friend, who I also have business dealings with. After seeing my ex recently at their office, we started trading emails and she will return every email right away. I also called last week but did not leave a message. She called back within 10 minutes and we chatted for a 1/2 hour. Despite her prompt and friendly responses, its always me initiating the contact. I realize now that I have strong feelings for her that I thought were over. We are suppossed to meet for coffee on Monday and traded 10 emails today alone, but she has never indicated any desire to be more than friends since we broke up. Honestly, I don't understand why she keeps responding to me when I go back and forth between trying to be friends and going NC when it hurts too much. I feel I am mistaking this desire to resume friends as a sign that she may want to reconcile, which may be a huge mistake on my part. I'm sure she knows I want her back and may just love the attention/power over me. Is resuming this kind of contact the road to reconciling or just more heartache for me? I feel its the later but the pull of the former is very strong. Please give me some guidance on where to go from here!
Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Sounds like a case of you want what you can't have. You broke up with her when you had her, but when she was gone, you want her... and the more she denies you, the more you want her. Classic case. You will never be the priority of this girl. So don't bother. It'd fail if you tried again. As for if you can get her back through being friends, I'm going to quote Maddea (is that how you spell her name? That tyler perry black woman): Hell to the NO!
messed-mind Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I think you're setting yourself up to be dragged across red hot coal if you go ahead and pursue her on the pretence of "friends". Been there, tried it. It's messy.
EmperorR Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 No, Ever heard of the word friend zone? Or she will slowly ween you off, girls say lets be friends after a breakup to relieve their guilt or they still miss you in some capacity but don't want to be with you. Example My ex fiancee "lets be friends", me a idiot first amjor relationship missing this cheating person like crazy ya sure anything master, only to be used and abused, while shes talking to someone new, only messaging me or phoning me, "thanks for he essay you wrote I got a scholaship", "How can you tell when a guy likes you" " Oh I feel this is the one" I went NC, that was 7 months ago haven't heard a peep from my "so called friend":rolleyes: Example 2 Latest ex, out of no where starts ignoring me dumps me, offers me "we were great friends before I think we should revert back to that", Learning from experience I say Nope I won't be downgraded mailed her back her cards she gave me YUP:), and went NC Point is you can't be friends with soemone you have feelings for, everytime there out having fun and your hope feeling like crap mellowing, everytime there with a new guy or girl whenever you hear that it hurts and pierces your soul. Trust me its better to know nothing>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>than to know there with someone new or being happy. Your not a car, you don't depreciate in value, if your partner doesn't see that screw them
EmperorR Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 And to add, maybe one day you can be friends. I have female friends and it doesnt bother me when they talk about their bfs, husbands etc. The day I can think of my exes and imagine them screwing someone else but me, and it doesnt bother me not even one percent, is the day I'll want to be "friends", but I doubt that day will ever come. Look at it this way, your one of 2 Partners at a law firm, the other one who has the authority, downgrades you to a legal assistant but "I still consider you a important person in my life" are you going to take that? Thinking if I work hard and accept what they want I'll be partner again? Or are you going to say SCREW THIS, and go to another firm where you make partner right after the bat. Exactly, now substitute partner as your ex, you guys were together she downgraded you to a legal assistant when you were a partner, are you going to stay and accept that I doubt it right, because you know your more valuable than that, and it would hurt your pride and your ego and rob you off any dignity, especially when the next joe blow moves up to partner. Dumb analogy maybe, but you seem like a smart person you know how hurt you were from the friends before nothing is going to CHANGE nothing. See how when you went NC, how she crawled back. I always say if you treat a woman good, when there in their next horrible relationship they will look back and remember what they f'ed up on. Don't Devalue yourself, you want more than friendship let it be known from the beginning your not pinocchio, your not her puppet your a real boy lol
messed-mind Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 When I met my current girlfriend, the last thing I wanted to do was have my ex as a friend. You'll be the same . She was/is out of my life for a good reason.
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