Author wildsoul Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 We broke up DURING/AFTER he housesat for me. In case that wasn't perfectly clear... 1. I took a 2 week out of town job while he and I were dating and getting along extremely well. The ONLY reason I said yes to the job was because he promised to house/cat sit. I don't have friends nearby that could do it (I asked the 2 people I do know.) I don't have any family. I was counting on xSM. 2. Then he had another blow up, and I broke up with him, but was in the horrible position of needing him to keep his agreement. We made a feeble attempt at reconcilliaton. It didn't seem all that bad to have him stay at my place. I wasn't there for us to fight! 3. The final blow came when he flaked out, while I was 3000 miles away. So yes, we were sorta broken-up already, but it's not like I asked him to housesit AFTER exactly. That was all prearranged ahead of me accepting the out of town assignment. There was no cancelling on a job that would have cost my employers and me a lot of money and left both of us in a lurch. But let me tell you: It was no fun feeling dependent on him to come through, and very painful to have him flake in such a shocking way!
Author wildsoul Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 Wild Soul, I have been following your thread for awhile now. You are soo close to shutting this chapter. Do not contact this man in any way. Do not forward the emails to the wife. Stay strong! Thank you, Goldstar! I am getting close. During my anger phase, I felt like perhaps I was done letting go. It was such a HUGE change in my thinking. I truly made up my mind. Now, I'm recognizing that the sad stage of grief is entering. It's really not all THAT bad, not like other times when I broke up with him. I'm resolute now. Totally. But it's still a lot to let go of. I feel the grief viscerally in my heart. Tears well up easily. Yet I know this too is a sign of progress. Part of me hass also been entering acceptance. 100% agree about not contacting his W by having mail from him automatically routed to her. It was a momentary vengeful thought on a bad day. I'm not wishing to prolong the death process of our relationship. Letting go. More and more. Not done, but I'll get there.
phillipreed678 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Block his email address. And any other cracks in your fence that the weasel might try to slip through. And forget about him...he's not worth the electrical energy your brain spends while you're thinking about him. I have to disagree. If TRULY like this person than...well go for it. The pleasures of that person outweighs the grueling work if you really want them.
jj33 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Phillip and Cherished have you even READ her history with this man. He is emotionally abusive with anger that was so scary I wonder if WS didnt fear he would become violent. She was lucky to get out with no more serious incidents. My only fear would be that some day she would need a restraining order against him. And Cherished - your "advice" isnt very cherished - you obvioulsy dont know a thing about WS or her history with this man. That kind of knee jerk reaction is not helpful to anyone and only makes you look ignorant.
Author wildsoul Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 Phillip and Cherished have you even READ her history with this man. He is emotionally abusive with anger that was so scary I wonder if WS didnt fear he would become violent. She was lucky to get out with no more serious incidents. My only fear would be that some day she would need a restraining order against him. And Cherished - your "advice" isnt very cherished - you obvioulsy dont know a thing about WS or her history with this man. That kind of knee jerk reaction is not helpful to anyone and only makes you look ignorant. (((jj33))) Thank you for stepping up on my behalf.
jj33 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Pleasure. Not that you need my protection but it just annoyed me on your behalf. This forum is supposed to be about support - not ignorant comments.
2sunny Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 maybe i'm on the ignore list too... oh well, just wanted to say that i see you as making good choices to keep him at bay. he hasn't been reliable or dependable in the past and you deserve more than what he offers. what he and his wife choose to do about the info that you are upfront with is not your concern at this point. keep moving forward... it looks like it's in your best interest and will get easier as time passes.
Author wildsoul Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 maybe i'm on the ignore list too... oh well, just wanted to say that i see you as making good choices to keep him at bay. he hasn't been reliable or dependable in the past and you deserve more than what he offers. what he and his wife choose to do about the info that you are upfront with is not your concern at this point. keep moving forward... it looks like it's in your best interest and will get easier as time passes. You're not on ignore, 2sunny. Thanks for your support. I appreciate it very much.
OWoman Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Last night, I was out on a date and made the mistake of checking my PDA. Unless the date is so bad you're looking for an excuse to make an early exit ("Oh sorry, my neighbour just called to say the fire brigade are dousing an enormous fire at my home - I'd best go") it's probably ALWAYS a mistake to check your PDA on a date... It's pretty clear that your x is hurting, though. Trying to get back at you and make you hurt too suggests that he's starting to realise just what he's lost. Maybe he'll learn from it, though chances are probably not. Strength for the rest of the process!
Recommended Posts