thegoodlife Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 I seem to be in the minority here but I don't think it's inappropriate to ask as long as you're not prying for details (which I'm sure you probably don't want to know anyways). But if you want to know that she is clean, and if you really feel the need to know her numbers then go ahead, it is your right to know. I have asked about sexual pasts (not any details of course), and I will always ask. I want to make sure I'm not at risk of catching anything and I don't want to be with someone that has a long list of conquests. That's just me though, everyone is different and I respect that.
D-Lish Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 I seem to be in the minority here but I don't think it's inappropriate to ask as long as you're not prying for details (which I'm sure you probably don't want to know anyways). But if you want to know that she is clean, and if you really feel the need to know her numbers then go ahead, it is your right to know. I have asked about sexual pasts (not any details of course), and I will always ask. I want to make sure I'm not at risk of catching anything and I don't want to be with someone that has a long list of conquests. That's just me though, everyone is different and I respect that. 1) Good people get std's 2) Assumptions about one's character does not protect you from std's 3) people lie 4) condoms don't protect you from everything that is out there Asking about sexual partners is fine and dandy. Remember, people lie. Remember- not everyone realizes they have an std. You can catch an std upon losing your virginity, or from your 100th partner. Sorry- it's just not realistic to think that asking about sexual history can in any way determine whether or not someone is "clean"... The only thing that can determine that is a "clean" bill of health from a doctor. ... And some info for ya- When you go in to get tested for std's- they only test for clamydia, syhpillis, gonnerhea. They DO NOT test you for HPV (warts) or Herpes or other infections etc... unless you ASK specifically. And I don't know about any of you- but have you ever asked your doctor for a print out or confirmation of your results so you can show your partner to be? Do you get a smart sex card in the mail or something? No- you go on someone's word. Another ridiculous myth about women and sexual partners that drives me nuts? When a guy describes a woman as being "loose"..... like the elasticity of the vagina has something to do with the amount of sexual partners a girl has had. A girl could have had sex a thousand times with one man over the course of a relationship.... or screwed 200 random guys in her life. The vagina will be the same. (unless they have had kids). That's my rant for the night. Carry on:o;)
RecordProducer Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 The girl just got out of a three-year relationship and you're worried about her past sexual experience? I would only want to know if my new partner is generally faithful or a cheater, that's all. Why do you need to know her numbers? What would they change? My first husband had had only one womna before me (his first wife). My second hsband had had many women in bed. I didn't see much of a difference between the two in terms of fidelity. They were both pretty conservative and faithful.
boldjack Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 I still believe that full disclosure is the best policy, based upon 2 things. 1) If your so has ever been a sex worker. 2)If your so has had multiple partners(at the same time. Total numbers aren't as important. My reasoning is that you are probably going to find out about your so's past at some point. Would you rather hear it from her so she can explain ,or would rather hear it at the club or bar or see it on line. I have experience with this. But as I said in my original post it must go both ways. My wife knows that I have had many partners, so I don't have to worry that some ex will tell her about it.
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