Dexter Morgan Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Not only that quite a few people are making things up saying that he called her several times when it was twice and one of those was when she blew him off and said she'd call back.
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 I need some advise. last night my wife told me she was going to dinner with coworkers.I thought she would be home after that.Well she called me at 5:30 to tell me she was at the resturant and she would call later.Well 8:45 and no call.So i called her and she was with her friends and she would call me back.She did but didnt say what she was doing. 9:30 hadnt heard anything so i called again and she said she would be on the way.10:45 she finally gets home but im alseep somewhat.So this morning im kinda upset about last night so i ask her what she was doing.She said she went to walmart and kohles with her girlfriends.I told her she could have called me to let me know that and she went off and got real defensive.I wasnt trying to argue but i wanted her to know that it pissed me off.so now were not speaking.My question am i wrong or going about in a strange way. Ignore all of bitter old women. I would be pissed too! If you knew she was goin to be out all evening then you could have planned something fun for yourself. She could have sent you a text to let you know her plans had changed. But that seems like too much effort... and if she just forgot about you... thats an issue too. If you forget that your married when you go out with friends... big problem! Bottom line: This is about RESPECT, not control. She clearly doesnt respect you or your time. Until she proves that she does... you need to devise some kind of action plan.
2sure Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Hey, maybe you are right. But I cannot help but get the impression that this woman is on a tight leash.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Hey, maybe you are right. But I cannot help but get the impression that this woman is on a tight leash. Since she seems to not give him the consideration of a phone call, I'd say there is good reason. If someone I am seeing, and more to the point living with me, says she is going out to eat and arrived at the restaurant by 5:30...ok, if she was going to go out afterwards, the lease she could do is simply call me and say she'll be home later. But she didn't want to give him that courtesy. Five, I wouldn't even bother her next time. next time she goes out, just go out yourself and come home whenever you feel like it. Do as she does...don't call and don't offer any real explanation other than, "I was out with friends"....if she complains just tell her she doesn't feel the need to call you when out and only says that she is "with friends".....so you owe her nothing more either. Next time just don't be there when she gets home. I guarantee she wouldn't be ok with receiving the same kind of treatment she is giving you. I guarantee you she'd be a hypocrite.
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Hey, maybe you are right. But I cannot help but get the impression that this woman is on a tight leash. Here is what formed my opinion: 1. He seemed much more upset with her not telling him what was going on than with the actual change of plans. 2. His goal in causing a bit of a fight was more to let her know he didn't appreciate her actions, than to control her. 3. She threw a fit when he brought up the fact that he wasn't happy about not being informed. So, those three points together give me a picture of a guy who is married to someone who is fairly immature and selfish. I would expect them to have other relationship issue as well. They are probably both somewhat stubborn. Lastly, anyone who is a responsible adult would have apologized for not calling as they promised. If you promise to do something... and choose not to, that means you lied, and you should at least apologize for that.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 If I had dinner with the girls and decided to go shopping I'ld let my H know. He wouldn't mind, but in the evening I would especially want to say, "don't wait up on me, I'll be awhile." If it was a Saturday afternoon and he and DS were golfing or fishing, it wouldn't cross my mind to call because it wouldn't matter. That said, "If he called me I would mention where I was." I think it was inconsiderate of her, but it sounds like something deeper is going on with her. Maybe she feels overworked, under appreciated, controlled, like she's losing her autonomy... whatever.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Here is what formed my opinion: 1. He seemed much more upset with her not telling him what was going on than with the actual change of plans. I f you ask what someone is doing, and their only reply is on the lines of "I'm with friends"....well...sounds fishy to me. If SO of mine called and asked whats up, I'd say, "Oh we decided to go to the sporting goods shop, I needed a new set of lifting gloves"...in other words I wouldn't say, "out with friends"...my SO deserves a little more elaboration than that.
Recommended Posts