Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 This forum has been full of sad things for God knows how long. I was certainly amongst you all. I dated a girl for over a year whom I loved enough that I'd take a bullet for, straight up, actual bullet for. I loved her more than I ever loved myself (and I do love myself quite a nice amount). She was truly the best thing to ever happen to me, and I saw myself without a doubt marrying this girl. Well, come November 2008 (few months ago), she broke my heart out of nowhere. On November 4th, she told me she loves me to death but needs a break because of how busy she was. Now, I have had a girl tell me she wants a "break" before, so I knew exactly that it was just a breakup that was trying to be smoother. Over the next month, I tried everything to get her back. I told her I'd change my flaws (which I did have some... and I actually did change, through much personal insight and extensive work mentally) but it was all in vain. Well, that's when I knew no contact was all I could do. I cut her off, 100%. She would txt me, I wouldn't dare reply. Not even on New Years when all she said was Happy New Years. I completely cut her off. Then after a few more weeks of silence, she txt me a long txt about how she doesn't understand how I could just cut her off. I told her it's because I will not downgrade myself to being friends with you just so that I can still contact you. It's not fair. We were never friends, and I'm not going to start now. Be with me or be without me. Well, more silence for a long time, she held strong. I finally gave up after a few more months. Then it came. She txt me a simple txt saying "I miss you. I want to hang out" I said "I'm not going to be friends! I will hang out, but only if we go on a date." Well, she agreed. Anyways, long story short, we made a date for last saturday after being broken up for 6 months, and me being sure I'd never see her again... Once I got to her house, and I saw her, I choked up immediately and teared up... right infront of her and her parents. I couldn't even barely say anything to her mom because I wasn't able to pull the words out. I was doing everything in my power not to cry. So we go out on a date, straight to Pittsburgh downtown city... she seemed distant. Not like the girl I remembered. I began to tell myself that this was how it was now, and the past is truly over, and that I should finally accept it and this would be closure. Towards the end of the date, we went to a movie... but we got there like 40 minutes early. So we are sitting in my car. I leaned over and lay my head on her chest, and just held her. After what seemed like an eternity, she laid her head ontop of mine. I couldn't help but tear up, remembering how things used to be... how we used to go to this same movie theater together.. I finally picked my head up but I noticed she was crying a lot. She leaned over and I just held her, and she cried in my arms. She said she still loved me, and never stopped. I told her the exact same. We started kissing for minutes. From that point on, we cuddled the whole movie, and held hands, and it was like it used to be. As I was driving her home, I began to cry a bit, telling her I didn't want to not see her again, once again. She said that won't happen anymore. When I dropped her off, she cried and just hugged me for minutes. She said we are going to hang out soon. Very soon. Fast forward to today, she has told me she loves me every night. And we made reservations to go to the beach together, just her and me, on vacation in June. We are hanging out again this coming week. And she said she can't wait to kiss again. People said you could never get back the girl you lost. I believed it. But now I know it isn't true. So don't give up. 1
playlislay Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Dude, you have to post this in second chances-PLEASE!! Im sure eeryone on there will LOVE to hear your story. Im soooooooo happy for you, really I am. ) Just make sure you dont lose her again!!!! Good luck hunny xx
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Dude, you have to post this in second chances-PLEASE!! Im sure eeryone on there will LOVE to hear your story. Im soooooooo happy for you, really I am. ) Just make sure you dont lose her again!!!! Good luck hunny xx Thank you for your kind words. You replying such a kind comment to a stranger speaks volumes about your selflessness. Commendable... very commendable I will do everything in my power not to lose her again. But the truly hard part will be knowing how to not.
Excellent Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Wow, thats like a movie-moment, something most of us in here have been or are dreaming of. You are truly lucky, my best wishes for the both of you.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Thank you excellent and You'reasian. You don't know how difficult it was to see her/her town again. It was in my nightmares for months and I'd always wake up alone and it would kill my day. So it was like facing the biggest fears ever to drive all the way to her town and see it all once again, and see her. I thought it'd never happen again. I gave her white roses, and she really took to them. She really likes them... I also wrote her a note, before we hung out that day. It talked about some of our happiest times. She hung it on her mirror and says she can't read it without crying. I was so sure her and me wouldn't ever happen. But here I am... awake.. I'm trying to take it slow.. I don't know when to ask her out again. Maybe in a month or two.. make it official..
EmperorR Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Congrats man, beautiful story I remember when you first signed up and I'm happy it worked out for you in the end
Rogue52 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I'm happy for you man, but don't you think you moved a little too fast from NC to talking about love and cuddling?
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 I thought so at first Rogue but it didn't really matter. Our feelings never changed... NC was only a cover. Underneath the cover was still how it really has been all along. So all we did was remove the cover. Thanks Emporer and the rest. I hope it does give you hope... don't ever listen to anyone on here who tells you it's over... unless you want it to be.
kizik Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Hey its DSMIVTOM, back with a new name after being banned! Glad to see things have worked out for you.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Lol that was so long ago. Thanks though!
smile_through_tears Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Tom, HI!!! Wow, that's amazing!! A beautiful story but your forgot that your ex never told you she didnt love you. As you state she had told you she still loved you to death but was busy and needed a break. I wish I could have gotten my ex back too but he told me he was not in love with me anymore and never asks me to hang out. When he texts all he says is hi how are you? Well guess I just need to move on and accept that I will never get anything more than an apology through facebook and that he is forever gone. Congrats for getting her back!! Keep posting here and let us know how everything turns out!! I wish you the best of luck. I could tell you really loved her. =]
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Thanks a lot smile it's really good to hear from you. Glad to see you're still around giving advice and stuff. I truly am sorry to hear that your ex did that. We've been through this all though, he's an idiot. I know my words are cliche, but he just didn't deserve you and there's nothing really to write more than that. You probably get hit on all the time right? And yes I do love her a lot. Enough to take a bullet for her.
not_a_happy_camper Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 DSM!!! congrats dude, really happy for you! always good to hear a happy ending, all the best! :bunny:
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Thanks happy its really nice to hear from you. How have you been? How long do you think I should wait before asking her back out again? Since she's still so busy, should I wait til summer? Maybe ask her out on our vacation?
not_a_happy_camper Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 How ofteh are you in touch at the moment, and how far away from each other are you? I've been good, also reconciling with my ex at the moment. It's going ok at the moment, ups and downs, and whether it will work out or not I'm not sure, but I know now that if it doesn't, I won't be wondering like I did last time, I won't have unanswered questions! That was the killer! we'll see how things go anyway, taking it slowly which is key. I'm so happy for you dude! It seems like you two are really on the same page.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Umm we talk pretty much all day from 3pm til she goes to sleep. She is about an hour away. I'll see her next week. Good dude I'm glad you are getting back with your ex too... guess that's two success stories amongst all these pessimists who are all too quick to shout that once you break up it's done forever.
openbook08 Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 aww, hiya tom!! goody goody gum drops for you! thrilled to hear your news, you deserve to be happy!i know how happy this will make you, i wish you all the best
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 Wow all of my favorite people are in this topic. It's only missing Knight, and iceman. Hey openbook, thanks a lot. I'm doing my best to make this last. How are you? What's new with the guys?
not_a_happy_camper Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Umm we talk pretty much all day from 3pm til she goes to sleep. She is about an hour away. I'll see her next week. Good dude I'm glad you are getting back with your ex too... guess that's two success stories amongst all these pessimists who are all too quick to shout that once you break up it's done forever. I think when people say it's over forever, it's in a protective way! And in fairness, it's not what anyone wants to hear at the time, but it's for the best to think like that, at least to help in the healing process. Hard to move on in any way, when you feel there is a chance. And when you feel there is no chance at all, you're probably in the best position to handle a second chance if you're lucky enough to have it come your way! Wouldn't say we're back together yet.....................it's more of a work in progress! We're seeing how things go. When you say asking her out again, do you mean on a date, or asking her to be your girlfriend again? being in touch so much and seeing her next week all positive! is next week a date again?
openbook08 Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder, take your time and enjoy gettin to know each other again!! im absoflippinlutely great!! 2weeks hols tomorrow so lots travelling and partyin!! no Mr.Openbook08 on the scene but that suits me at the mom! great to see ya back, im off to bed hols dont start till midday tomorrow,yawn X
Author Thomas X Forever Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 I mean asking her to be my girlfriend again. What steps should I take first before asking her to be my gf? And yes, it's another date next week as far as I know. I'm not good with this stuff though I feel like I'm gunna screw everything up heh... seriously.
CaliGuy Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Key thing to note: She didn't leave you for someone else. If they leave you for someone else, odds are it's VERY over. Not trying to rain on your parade here, just don't want the people who've been left for someone else to think it's this easy. You are in the MINORITY (the very, very minor minorty) of people who have reconciled. And even then, only time will tell if this will work. I wish you the best of luck, but to those who have been left for someone else, don't bank on a one in a thousand stories to come true. Just love and be true to yourself, stick to NC and if they want you back later, I pray you've moved on with someone else
CaliGuy Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 I mean asking her to be my girlfriend again. What steps should I take first before asking her to be my gf? And yes, it's another date next week as far as I know. I'm not good with this stuff though I feel like I'm gunna screw everything up heh... seriously. Personally I wouldn't even ask the question. I would move along as status quo and not press her for anything. Make yourself the prize, not her.
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