Kage111 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I went out with my friends tonight and saw my ex all over some guy. No biggie, its been half a year, I've accepted she's gonna be doing that. So here's the kicker, this is the guy she was always talking to for around 6 months before she decided I wasn't good enough for her. They would text back and forth and I told her it made me uncomfortable and she would tell me not to worry, he was just a friend. My friend tells me they're "In a relationship" facebook-style. (I wouldn't know, I blocked her) But yah, I guess thinking she was cheating on me for most of those last 6 months actually helps in that I don't miss her anymore. A little more bitter than I was before, but much less pathetic, I think. So I guess the message is, when she gets a new guy friend and you suddenly take 2nd fiddle to him, brace yourself, it's coming. I'm actually surprised that I'm not more distraught over this... I guess I'm healing.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I went out with my friends tonight and saw my ex all over some guy. No biggie, its been half a year, I've accepted she's gonna be doing that. So here's the kicker, this is the guy she was always talking to for around 6 months before she decided I wasn't good enough for her. They would text back and forth and I told her it made me uncomfortable and she would tell me not to worry, he was just a friend. My friend tells me they're "In a relationship" facebook-style. (I wouldn't know, I blocked her) But yah, I guess thinking she was cheating on me for most of those last 6 months actually helps in that I don't miss her anymore. A little more bitter than I was before, but much less pathetic, I think. So I guess the message is, when she gets a new guy friend and you suddenly take 2nd fiddle to him, brace yourself, it's coming. I'm actually surprised that I'm not more distraught over this... I guess I'm healing. Like you said, I think often when something big happens like infidelity, it helps enable you to move on because it gives you more anger toward the person and less of a reason to turn back/wonder what could have been. It's a harsher truth perhaps, but I always think it's a kind of hidden blessing in terms of being able to move on.
EmperorR Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Like you said, I think often when something big happens like infidelity, it helps enable you to move on because it gives you more anger toward the person and less of a reason to turn back/wonder what could have been. It's a harsher truth perhaps, but I always think it's a kind of hidden blessing in terms of being able to move on. Nope it doesn,t my ex fiance cheated on me I sitll wanted her back, I'm sure for some people its easier for some like me it wasn't.
Peter_pan Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Nope it doesn,t my ex fiance cheated on me I sitll wanted her back, I'm sure for some people its easier for some like me it wasn't. yeh was about to say, if you really loved them, then you would forgive them i guess. regardless of what they did wrong.
ATR Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Nope it doesn,t my ex fiance cheated on me I sitll wanted her back, I'm sure for some people its easier for some like me it wasn't. yeh was about to say, if you really loved them, then you would forgive them i guess. regardless of what they did wrong. I don't know, i think you don't want to be with them how they are now... because they have changed so much. But you wan't to be with them like they were was before they cheated, which will never ever happen again, they will never be the same again...
Peter_pan Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I don't know, i think you don't want to be with them how they are now... because they have changed so much. But you wan't to be with them like they were was before they cheated, which will never ever happen again, they will never be the same again... spot on. and that my friend is the kicker
Donovan Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I went out with my friends tonight and saw my ex all over some guy. No biggie, its been half a year, I've accepted she's gonna be doing that. So here's the kicker, this is the guy she was always talking to for around 6 months before she decided I wasn't good enough for her. They would text back and forth and I told her it made me uncomfortable and she would tell me not to worry, he was just a friend. My friend tells me they're "In a relationship" facebook-style. (I wouldn't know, I blocked her) But yah, I guess thinking she was cheating on me for most of those last 6 months actually helps in that I don't miss her anymore. A little more bitter than I was before, but much less pathetic, I think. So I guess the message is, when she gets a new guy friend and you suddenly take 2nd fiddle to him, brace yourself, it's coming. I'm actually surprised that I'm not more distraught over this... I guess I'm healing. been there done that too. i guess they were just "friends" when the 2 of you were dating. but now since you are seperated they are dating. haha. She was probably just playing the field until she realized who she wanted. It's still gon hurt a bit. I know it will. i tell ya man, some women got the nerve to complain about being just have no remorse the way they treat people and complain when it's done to them. don't worry, God has a plan for her.
Rogue52 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 While infidelity brings more anger, it also brings a WHOLE lot of other crap. Like images in your head of your ex-fiancee screwing another guy.
huck Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 same thing happended to me Kage. I found out my ex had cheated on me after we broke up.. Before she told me that I was thinking maybe we might get back together in the future or she will change her mind - blah blah. But its honestly the best news i could of recieved. obviously im a bit bitter and angry she cheated on me - but its brought CLOSURE.. I hate her guts and wouldnt touch her skanky arse ever again..
Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Whenever people post things like "I guess im healing" or "i'm surprised im not hurt more" in contexts like this, it's usually a front. You're trying to convince yourself. Grip something and get ready. It hasn't hit you yet.
Jolena9 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 There's this one quote thats like "Women are like monkeys. They swing from branch to branch when it comes to changing men and make sure they have a firm grip on the next branch before they let go of the other" That being said, I've done it in the past and had it happen to me (which effectively made me decide never to do that again). And really, being cheated on is the best closure because you realize the person you are missing is too selfish for you to worry about missing anyway.
Donovan Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 There's this one quote thats like "Women are like monkeys. They swing from branch to branch when it comes to changing men and make sure they have a firm grip on the next branch before they let go of the other" That being said, I've done it in the past and had it happen to me (which effectively made me decide never to do that again). And really, being cheated on is the best closure because you realize the person you are missing is too selfish for you to worry about missing anyway. thank you!!
Mike262 Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 I think its funny because I am constantly feeling hypocritical when weighing in my opinion. I work as a private investigator yet i am in the middle of a relationship that is reeling due to infidelity. Professionally I know what the right thing to do it but personally... well that's another story. I have found myself believing two major sayings; "things are different from the outside looking in" and "you never ACTUALLY know what is going on between two people" My two cents.
LostLamb Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Opposite sex friendships always have to be watched closely ,I don't think it is possible for men and women to be friends without some attraction on one side.
Donovan Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 i agree lost lamb. especially when you break up and your bf/gf starts hanging out more and more with their opposite sex friend than they did with you. then it's safe to say there was something always going on. kage111, you'll be ok
EmperorR Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 i agree lost lamb. especially when you break up and your bf/gf starts hanging out more and more with their opposite sex friend than they did with you. then it's safe to say there was something always going on. kage111, you'll be ok it salways the friend they tell you not to worry about that you should worry about. He's just a friend sure.
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