xpaperxcutx Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I was reading a thread in the forum about the SO not wanting sex and weight issues came up. I know in relationships, once you get too comfortable around the other person, you start to gain weight or you start doing things that are in total contrast to what you would have done when you were single. I remember when I was in a relationship I became more self assertive about things, and usually became the one to initiate sex as oppose to the beginning of the R, when my ex would the one initiating. I also found myself taking better care of myself and keeping my body in tip top shape so I can look good in lingerie . In contrast, the further in the relationship, my ex began neglecting his well being, and he started to gain a little tummy in the period of a month. He became neglectful or too dependent- behaviours I never knew of until he familiarized himself with me. Therefore I have to ask, would you let yourself go when you get too comfortable in a relationship? Would your ex? It doesn't even have to be weight gain, but do you notice alot of things that was not apparent when they first started chasing you?
monkey00 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Currently I'm not in a R. But when I was in the past and even now when I'm single, I always maintain and upkeep an appearance. There's really not much for me to upkeep other than staying groomed and dressing well since I have a high metabolism. I have a job, so anyone in my position would probably be doing the same anyway. I think the biggest concern about relationships before they fall apart are people falling into the comfort zone and taking each other for granted. While letting yourself go in the appearance realm is one aspect, there are other aspects to it as well.
Sam Spade Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I'm leading by example! Getting better, not worse, in a relationship, all the time. It has not happened to me (yet, and hopefully never) but if girl lets herself go I will consider it as an indication of *very* serious problems in the relationship, since - let's face it - girls are aware of what their assets are in keeping a guy excited/interested, so if they let go, that's probably because of more serious underlying issues than mere laziness, such as depression or simply lack of serious interest in the relationship etc. In the end of the day - men or women - there is no excuse for getting lazy in a relationship and taking each other for granted. I wish it was enforceble as a violation of the companionship contract .
Jersey Shortie Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Well, in past relationships what my partner ate and the life style he lead would affect me to some degree. Not to the point where I got out of shape but to the point where I did gain a little extra weight. So I try to find men that have more of the same life style choices health wise. It's normal to be little less proactive on certian things in a relationship. Sometimes women gain weight..sometimes men stop putting in the effort to romance her. It's all fixable.
Trialbyfire Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 No, I won't let myself go. Maintenance is easy, especially when it's important to you to live a healthy lifestyle. That's why it's important that any guy I've ever been in a relationship, believe in the lifestyle and not just for looks. He has to want to be healthy. My fiancé is someone like this. He works out religiously and is into team sports. He eats in a healthy way and isn't big on beer. While we both enjoy a glass here and there, it's no big deal if we have any. And it shows!
Jaytb Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Yeah I try to stay in shape, not so much for my partner but for myself. And I try to be romantic and loving so that things are going well in the relationship. Ideally no one should let themselves go because that will degrade the quality of a relationship and make you think you're with someone who's different from what you fell in love with.
loveslife Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I need to feel good about myself to be happy, and that includes healthy eating and exercise. That doesn't change depending on the stage of a relationship.
BobSacamento Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I've seen it happen many many times with my friends and their GF's/BF's. I eat out a lot more when I'm dating and in a relationship. That eating out means far more calories and drinks and ice cream, etc. Eat drink and be merry I guess haha. When I'm single I eat like a bird and save up for a good GF lol
Katherineos123 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I keep up my physical appearance when im in a relationship, I like to look nice for my man! No weight gain or anything.... but its not all glitz and glamor. I might spend the afternoon with him on the couch with no make up and sweats on! But thats love. I must be honest though, and this is something Im consciously working on... Once I become familiar with the guy Im dating, I tend to lose my ability to censor myself... Meaning, if I get upset about something, instead of thinking about it rationally, or calming down inititally as I would in the begining of the relationship, I tend to imidiately speak my mind... No yelling or screaming or anything like that... But I definately will let you know if something is bothering me.... Its like once I feel completely comfortable with a man, my internal "shut the hell up and relax" censors arent there any longer. I completely wear my heart on my sleeve, and I always have. Theres never any question of where you stand with me... Luckily Im dating a man now that loves my brutal honesty, but I am trying to learn how to bite my tongue a little bit!
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