Blessings Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I feel all different types of emotions towards my last relationship that ended 9 months ago... At times I miss him and remember all the times we had, it feels like they happened yesterday..I love him and I long for him and it just hurts me SOO MUCH to know they are gone forever...I feel like those were the happiest times of my life and so sad to know they are gone...it's a feeling of nostalgia and longing...i feel like i just cant forget him and it makes me so sad that his love is gone. Then there are other times when I feel like I am over him and the past. Like I have moved on, like the past was soooo long ago, a lifetime ago..sometimes it feels like a dream...me and my ex havent talked in so long, i dont know him anymore, like we are strangers. When I feel like this I hate it because I think this is how he ALWAYS feels and actually 10 times more, because although I feel this way sometimes I still care and I still feel sad for the loss of our relationship. I dont think he does. Then there are the times of I wonder what he's up to. Does he love someone else, what is going on with his life?? Will we ever talk or see each other again? Will i ever love someone again like I did him?? Why did he do this?? How could he?? But I love him, this isnt right...Basically the non-stoppable questions... Then there are the reminders and the reminscing and the memories and crushed dreams....There is sadness, anger, hurt, confusion... Then there is the time where I tell myself TO PICK MYSELF UP AND MOVE ON.... Why so many emotions???? I dont even know what I feel anymore...I dont know what I feel towards ANYTHING...I have become soo confused and sometimes even numb...at times im overly emotional and others im so emotionless....can somebody help me understand how i feel?
Trialbyfire Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Then there are other times when I feel like I am over him and the past. Like I have moved on, like the past was soooo long ago, a lifetime ago..sometimes it feels like a dream...me and my ex havent talked in so long, i dont know him anymore, like we are strangers. When I feel like this I hate it because I think this is how he ALWAYS feels and actually 10 times more, because although I feel this way sometimes I still care and I still feel sad for the loss of our relationship. I dont think he does. You've answered your own question Blessings. You're not prepared to let him go so when you get to the point where you're close to doing so, you recreate a connection, one that doesn't exist anymore. Are you afraid to let go? You know there's nothing to be afraid of. It's actually freeing to finally let go, like shucking a massive weight from your shoulders. The longer you hang on, the worse the addiction but no longer are you addicted to the real person in a real relationship but addicted to sadness and pain.
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