Derek12b Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Tomorrow makes 6 weeks that my wife and I have been separated. We are starting to talk on a regular basis now but I still can't get her to commit to coming back home and working on things. She is the one who caused this but I am the one who is to be courting her. I go through these emotional mood swings that...when all starts going right I get mad and say something mean. I feel I have a right thought with the situation. You can read my older post to get details. I feel great this week because I have my little girls but she will take them on Friday and I will fall appart. I would do better if I diden't talk to her but we talk everynight because of the kids and I feel if I try LC I might lose her completely. She says I can come to church with her on Sundays, and I will, but seeing her and knowing how she is comfusing the kids makes we want to hate her. I just want my family back. She works just 5 minutes from our house and she has come over everyday this week but she never wants to talk about the realationship. So, today i left her a text that said if she could come over after work I'll cook us dinner we could watch the kids play. She called me about 15 minutes after she got out of work and said she had not turned on her cell untill just then and she was already driving to her moms. I was short with her after that and just said "bye." She said she was tired but hey...this IS HER house so why not hang here. I'm so confused and I know I'll lose the girls this weekend and my whole family will be gone. If I only knew she could act like this I would have never married her. I love my kids, I love my wife...but I hate what she has become. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you. Derek and family.
sugarmomma Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Why did she leave and what part did you play in causing the relationship to deteriorate?
LakesideDream Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 She's not "coming back" or "hanging out" with you because in the vast majority of cases she has a new love interest and you have allowed yourself to become the "back up guy". Somebody on your other thread said it you want her to come back you have to go the other way. Sadly, she's to involved with her new interests that chasing you isn't on her list of priorities. Most likely, it's time to file for divorce and get the ball rolling. She will at least come to realize that you are a serious person with a life and goals of his own. Right now she only knows you to be a wussie man who lives to serve her every whim. Time to butch up and let the bodies lay where they fall.
Author Derek12b Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 Lakeside, I'm pretty sure its not another guy. She stays at her moms everynight and we see each other a couple of times a week. Our neightbor was hitting on her and she did like it but this guys a FAT SLOB, I mean....I'm sure she liked the attention but....****, I don't know. I hope not. Sugarmomma, I was distant and she said I was a "dick," you would have to know my wife to understand this. She is pretty spoiled by all in her family and she still thinks shes a princess. I like spoiling her but shes VERY demanding of my attention. She bottles it all in though and lets it build. She goes to her moms house to talk about it and its all of them against me. I had no clue when i got involved with this girl it was going to be like this. Now I'm knee deep in a 4 year marriage with a 2 year old and a 3 year old. I'ts like my wife thinks shes 21 years old again. Hell, shes only 29. Its crazy.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 She wants her independance and wants you as a back up when her quest to be independant fails. Better this happened now than when you was old and decrepit. Better that you know now how she is, so you can move on with someone else. Either your seperated or your married. I'd be tired of living in limbo too. Let her do what she wants, but dont help she wants to be on her own, so be it! 180 my friend. 180! let her court you....
sumdude Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 A suggestion. Keep it in one thread. It makes it easier to keep track for those of us trying to help out.
LakesideDream Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 She wants her independance and wants you as a back up when her quest to be independant fails. Better this happened now than when you was old and decrepit. .. Hey Chrome! On LS I qualify as old and decrepit (I think only Crumb has me beat by much) Lay off us old guys. I'm the young studly one when I volunteer at the Senior Center!
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Hey Chrome! On LS I qualify as old and decrepit (I think only Crumb has me beat by much) Lay off us old guys. I'm the young studly one when I volunteer at the Senior Center! LOL your probably not that old until arthritis starts setting in.
LakesideDream Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 LOL your probably not that old until arthritis starts setting in. Seriously... no joking now. I don't even say the "A" word. Because of my injuries I was diagnosed with the "A" problem 30 years ago. Every time I get out of a chair, those first four or five steps are a real pain. Which brings up a funny.. Somehow I always managed to be athletic in the sack. The only thing I tried only once was the man standing picking up the woman thing. I almost died that night, poor wife was forced to ride me lke a pony and put me away wet. Endorphines are a wonderful thing!
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Seriously... no joking now. I don't even say the "A" word. Because of my injuries I was diagnosed with the "A" problem 30 years ago. Every time I get out of a chair, those first four or five steps are a real pain. Which brings up a funny.. Somehow I always managed to be athletic in the sack. The only thing I tried only once was the man standing picking up the woman thing. I almost died that night, poor wife was forced to ride me lke a pony and put me away wet. Endorphines are a wonderful thing! Yeah the stand up position is no joke!!! lmao.
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