victim_of_love Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Those of you who've read and helped me out in my other topics, this applies to the same girl. Those who haven't should know that this girl and I was close one time, but we became distant after she started ignoring me. Well lately, this girl has stopped her ignoring and we've been talking again. It was like nothing happened to us since the first time we met and when things were cool like before. We rekindled on some stuff, and it seems the reason why she was really ignoring me was because she had feelings for another guy......however she informed me that he already had a gf and was really not all that interested in her. Although that may be the case, she still has her moments where she distants herself away from me and others or blows us off at times when she is approached. But every other day, she would say she is sorry about what she did and we would go back to talking again. Until she had another outburst or loner moment. The reason behind this is because, honestly, she still has feelings for the other boy and she is upset that she could not be the one for him. I do my best to be there for her and talk with her, lend her advice, and do I can as a friend to help her get through it. And in all honestly, I'm hoping she would see me for the kind of man I can be to her and turn those feelings towards me. But I wonder at times if I am wasting me time, because this girl just seems to caught up with this boy who probably is not thinking about her. What am I asking is, I'm a making a good decision to stand by this girl and be there for her, even when she blows me off? Or am I wasting my time and should I just cut her off.
manugeorge Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Um yeah, I'm sorry, you can wait around for her but it looks like you will be waiting for a very very long time here. You are what we call, "in the friend zone", oftentimes, it's the land of no return. Have you told her how you feel about her?
Author victim_of_love Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 Plenty of times. I've asked her out like many times in the past, but she informed me on all of them that she was not ready for a relationship. So I backed off and waited for her to make her move. Well, any suggestions on what I can do to step out of the "friend zone"?
manugeorge Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Well, If you've asked plenty of times and she's turned you down, it really just means she's not interested IN YOU. Saying she's not ready for a relationship was probably an attempt to let you down easy. For whatever reason, you are not a romantic option for her. I'd just let it go. The friend zone is a complicated space and often times, the girl decides when/if ever she's going to let you out of it. You have very little control over that decision so I wouln't even bother trying to get out if I were you. Find another girl, sorry.
jadelil25 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I know it is hard to move on forget about someone when you care about them and like them but in this situation it is the best thing to do. The girl is playing you and is giving you clear signs that she does not want to be more than friends. If you do wait you could be waiting a very long time and it will be wasting your time. It is not good to go out with someone who has feelings for someone else. The other thing is if she liked you and cared about you then she would treat you with more respect than what she is and she would not ignore you keep cutting you out of her life and then come back to you when she wants some attention. You sound like a decent guy and there are plenty more girls out there, ones that will care about you and give you the respect you deserve. Just go out and have fun with your friends, keep your self busy, do the things that you want and you will meet someone else when the time is right and you least expect it.
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