SomeCAGuy Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I was with someone for 5 years (married for 4). We have a 2 year old child together. We divorced last year and now my ex and child live in a different state. Her family and support system of friends are there, I think it's a better environment for my child to grow up in rather than with me where I have no family. My ex came to me and said he wanted our marriage to end last year, she wasn't happy. So from that point on focused my life on being a good father and moving on from the relationship. At one point during the divorce she said "I don't know how this turned into me trying to get you back, you were supposed to fight for me and show me how much you loved me". Take that statement however you want, I'll save my opinions on it. Now we are almost 8 months after separation and both of us are dating people. She calls me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. She does call to apologize and tell me can't control her emotions with me. I worked out a deal with my employer to see my daughter every 3 weeks for 3-4 days at a time, totally dedicated to her, no work, no distractions. Try to see her on the webcam as often as my ex will allow. I stay at the ex's place and use her car while she stays with her parents or boyfriend. I pay everything I'm legally required to and then some, plus she got a really nice chunk of change for alimony. My life is going very well, career is going well, I love my time with my daughter, I'm in the best shape of my life, have rebuilt my friendships, and relationship with gf is great. She's a single mother who has never worked before and did not go to college (I always encouraged her to go while we were married and to work). She now has a job and is going to school our of necessity. She tells me her life is incredibly hard and that she wasted the best years of her life with me. That I don't deserve to be happy and I never cared about her. She tells me that her new bf is a better father to my daughter and "actually cares about her" and that I'm a father of convenience. I tried to stay as objective as possible during this post. I feel incredible guilt for the situation, but I know going back with her will just make things incredibly hard on our child. Please be honest with me: should I feel guilty for this situation? It's very hard to cope with the feeling of not being good father and feeling like I wasted someone's life.
TheJoker Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 First of all why did you and your ex split up? Second I dont think you should feel guilty, It is not as if you have done anything wrong. Yeah it didnt work out with your ex But youare still supporting your child the best you can. I think your ex is just trying to make you feel bad since you come off better than her from the relationship. At the end of the day you arent doing anything wrong, You are doing what you are required to do. It seems as if your ex just envys your new life.
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