What happens when your 20 year old is now 30?

[MeaganRaye]

This is for the men who 'prefer' very young women. What happens when she's no longer your preference because now she's 30, 35 years of age?(Time really flies) Do you trade your partner every decade for someone younger because you 'prefer' women who are under 30?

 

I just don't get the adamant preference for someone a specific age, because no one stays the same age forever very long. I understand wanting maturity, but stating you prefer women who are 18-21, when you want something long-term seems conflicting.

[peteyj]

I find these posts ironic really. Many women in their late teens and early to mid twenties seem to have a fascination with dating older men. Not all, but quite a few. Sometimes it's because a 22 year old sees a 30 year old as more successful, has more money or more more mature, whatever it is doesn't matter, it just is.

 

I can tell you from my experience when I was younger and plenty of people I know who saw lots of female friends and friends of friends who only dated older guys. Plenty of 22 year old females I knew years ago would not date another 22 year old guy. In fact many wouldn't date a 25 year old guy half the time.

 

But it's funny. Like you say people get older. So now that 30 year old girl isn't the 22 year old anymore. And that 30 year old guy who might have been the one who was 'too immature, too poor, or too young' back in the day now is the guy dating those 22 year olds. Funny how things work out like that.

 

If a 22 year old female only likes dating 30+ year old men then really she shouldn't be the one complaining in her thirties when the men her same age prefer dating younger women. What goes around comes around sometimes.

 

And who knows.. My father was in his thirties when he met my mother and she was in her early to mid twenties. They've been married for close to 40 years now. So that 32 year old who dated a 24 year old is now a 70 year old still married to he same woman who now is in her 60s. It's not about age.

[Sam Spade]

It wouldn't matter at all. Age comes into consideration *only* when starting from scratch in one's 30's-40's. Given a choice, and all else equal, of course any guy would err on the side of youth . Then, picture his and her life 40 years from now, and then get there, year by year.

[mr.dream merchant]

I think this a case of people turning preferences into a religion. Just because a man prefers this type of women doesn't mean that he'll leave that preferred women when she gets older. If that were the case everyone would be at the mercy of this question, women included. Preferences are just what you look for in a person. When you find that person and they meet your preferences then you can move forward in your life WITH them and be HAPPY WITH THEM, what comes after that really shouldn't have an effect on the relationship if the two truely do care and love for one another.

[justcurious66]

That's an interesting thought.

 

I will go out on a limb and answer that I think it mostly depends on the persons stage of life, how they feel about their current partner if they have one and how they use their lessons learned from past relationships to help make decisions regarding future ones. For example, if the man who favors young women is with someone and he falls in love with her, really in love, then it isn't going to matter so much the older she gets because he has fallen in love with who she is as a person (hopefully!) But as they get older, they may grow apart as some people do because we all change. At that time, that same man may feel that looking for a younger woman who knows less about the world and is full of optimism, that would probably be very attractive to him perhaps. Kind of like a fresh start with a really clean slate! But no, as dirty as I think some men are, I don't believe that they continually want to trade their woman in on the next "newer and shinier" model. I hope that is not naive of me, but I just don't believe that at all

[St. Nick]

By the time that 18-21 year old reaches 30 he'll be around a decade older himself. By that time he may have less pull. Also, like another poster said, it's usually when she starts pushing 40 when women really start to go. By that time he'll be around 60 and hopefully will have grown attached to her.

[voldigicam]

You just get relatively closer in age. Doesn't make any difference.

 

I was looking for a breeder, so I had to shop younger when I got this one.

[CommitmentPhobe]

You would hope, by then, the guy would be too tired to have a second (or even third) mid life crisis

 

Either that or the wife will be at home as he sits, escort by his side in his soft top while his comb-over blows in the wind. That's if he can afford one after he's been chewed up.

[treyfan88]

Interesting topic.

 

There are some guys who never change, regardless of how old they get. I have several old uncles who insist on dating women in their 20s. They're reaching their 50s and are still chasing after them. They dump their girls (sometimes they dump them) after a good five years and seek out a younger girl. I won't fault them though--they aren't pursuing serious relationships--neither are their girlfriends. It makes them happy--and that's really all that matters.

 

But those who ARE seeking long-term committments, I would hope that once they meet the beautiful 19yr old when they're 32, that by the time she's 29, he'll still be in love with her at 42 and not "trade her in" for another 19yr old. You can't "trade in" somebody you love anyways. It's OK to have a preference...but if you're seeking long-term committment, (especially if your certain preference is temporary) you're only asking to be disappointed.

 

If you're honest with yourself and like the 18yr old girls, then stick with the 18yr old girls! There's nothing wrong with that. Just don't look for a long-term relationship, though. She can't stay 18yrs old for you forever.

[Jaytb]

I date 6 year olds. When they turn 10, I replace them with a younger girl. My last girlfriend, April, fooled me into thinking she's 6 when she was really 7.

[clv0116]

This is for the men who 'prefer' very young women.

 

Well see, there's your problem. Let me clear that up, yet again. I prefer to start a relationship with someone in her 20s. Emphasis on start.

[St. Nick]

Well see, there's your problem. Let me clear that up, yet again. I prefer to start a relationship with someone in her 20s. Emphasis on start.

So you're the guy who started all this anti-older men/younger women relationship hate. It looks like people on this forum have a problem with reading your posts and letting you do your thing.You haven't committed any crimes. Quit worrying about the naysayers. A person like me, who is happy with his life, isn't going to worry about who the next guy is dating. Only a person who is unhappy goes around slandering others for simple things like dating someone when there's an age gap.

[Jersey Shortie]

If that were the case everyone would be at the mercy of this question, women included.

 

I think that's the point. Apparently alot of men do believe women to be at the mercy of this question. While they give themselves extreme leeway. Men are very giving to themselves in their opinion of their own ages but are extremely critical of women for theres. Men get better with time, women get worse. Isn't that the message? How are we suppose to feel about that? Happy? Like men are on our side? Like women matter to men?

 

Don't you think most of us want a man to love us and have companionship and not for him to tell us that we aren't his preference anymore a few years down the line?

 

You know, women might be critical of height, but there are things that men are critcal about as well when it comes to looks. No one can change those things but those things are there from the begining and aren't looked at as "declining". Basically alot of the guys here are tellign women that they think they decline yet men improve. It leaves women in a position that it's obvious we can't ever win and that somehow men find us less deserving of the exact things me nconsider themselves more deserving of.

 

To tell another one gender that you think they "decline", "get worse", "lessen in value" as time goes on and the other gender that they turn out "better', "improved", "more established"..etc etc..Is really discouraging. There is no woman here that wants a man to think less of her as she ages. But that's exactly what is being said. And really consider to yourself why a woman doesn't want a man to think less of her. The answer should be obvious.

 

I won't be young forever and I don't want to be with a man that I dedicated myself to that is always going to be looking at 20 year olds, even if he "loves" me.

 

We just have no chance. We are basically being told by the gender that we want to care for us most, that they think we decline and are worthless. Especially for 30, when that's pretty freaking young still. And when you have men 40+ judging people a good 10 years younger then themselves.

 

And seriously, what man here wants to be told he gets worse? what man here wants to be thought of as less of a man as he gets older? Don't you think women want the same thigns out of life sometimes.

[clv0116]

So you're the guy who started all this anti-older men/younger women relationship hate.

 

No, the hate has been there for eons. I just provided a nice big target for ventilation.

 

 

It looks like people on this forum have a problem with reading your posts and letting you do your thing.You haven't committed any crimes.

 

Indeed, and no one can prove otherwise.

 

 

Quit worrying about the naysayers. A person like me, who is happy with his life, isn't going to worry about who the next guy is dating. Only a person who is unhappy goes around slandering others for simple things like dating someone when there's an age gap.

 

Oh I don't worry, I'm actually entertained by them.

[The Collector]

I just shoot them in the head. Their usefulness is over, and it's kinder to them really.

[MeaganRaye]

I think that's the point. Apparently alot of men do believe women to be at the mercy of this question. While they give themselves extreme leeway. Men are very giving to themselves in their opinion of their own ages but are extremely critical of women for theres. Men get better with time, women get worse. Isn't that the message? How are we suppose to feel about that? Happy? Like men are on our side? Like women matter to men?

 

Don't you think most of us want a man to love us and have companionship and not for him to tell us that we aren't his preference anymore a few years down the line?

 

You know, women might be critical of height, but there are things that men are critcal about as well when it comes to looks. No one can change those things but those things are there from the begining and aren't looked at as "declining". Basically alot of the guys here are tellign women that they think they decline yet men improve. It leaves women in a position that it's obvious we can't ever win and that somehow men find us less deserving of the exact things me nconsider themselves more deserving of.

 

To tell another one gender that you think they "decline", "get worse", "lessen in value" as time goes on and the other gender that they turn out "better', "improved", "more established"..etc etc..Is really discouraging. There is no woman here that wants a man to think less of her as she ages. But that's exactly what is being said. And really consider to yourself why a woman doesn't want a man to think less of her. The answer should be obvious.

 

I won't be young forever and I don't want to be with a man that I dedicated myself to that is always going to be looking at 20 year olds, even if he "loves" me.

 

We just have no chance. We are basically being told by the gender that we want to care for us most, that they think we decline and are worthless. Especially for 30, when that's pretty freaking young still. And when you have men 40+ judging people a good 10 years younger then themselves.

 

And seriously, what man here wants to be told he gets worse? what man here wants to be thought of as less of a man as he gets older? Don't you think women want the same thigns out of life sometimes.

 

I really like how you write. you said everything so eloquently!

 

I think a lot of the men who are biased against mature women due so because these women will be able to see through their ****, their accomplishments don't look so great to someone who knows better. Maybe to an 18/19 year old, a guy with an apartment, a car, and a job sounds like a huge accomplishment but to a woman who is 30+ doesn't look all that great

[mr.dream merchant]

I think that's the point. Apparently alot of men do believe women to be at the mercy of this question. While they give themselves extreme leeway. Men are very giving to themselves in their opinion of their own ages but are extremely critical of women for theres. Men get better with time, women get worse. Isn't that the message? How are we suppose to feel about that? Happy? Like men are on our side? Like women matter to men?

 

Don't you think most of us want a man to love us and have companionship and not for him to tell us that we aren't his preference anymore a few years down the line?

 

You know, women might be critical of height, but there are things that men are critcal about as well when it comes to looks. No one can change those things but those things are there from the begining and aren't looked at as "declining". Basically alot of the guys here are tellign women that they think they decline yet men improve. It leaves women in a position that it's obvious we can't ever win and that somehow men find us less deserving of the exact things me nconsider themselves more deserving of.

 

To tell another one gender that you think they "decline", "get worse", "lessen in value" as time goes on and the other gender that they turn out "better', "improved", "more established"..etc etc..Is really discouraging. There is no woman here that wants a man to think less of her as she ages. But that's exactly what is being said. And really consider to yourself why a woman doesn't want a man to think less of her. The answer should be obvious.

 

I won't be young forever and I don't want to be with a man that I dedicated myself to that is always going to be looking at 20 year olds, even if he "loves" me.

 

We just have no chance. We are basically being told by the gender that we want to care for us most, that they think we decline and are worthless. Especially for 30, when that's pretty freaking young still. And when you have men 40+ judging people a good 10 years younger then themselves.

 

And seriously, what man here wants to be told he gets worse? what man here wants to be thought of as less of a man as he gets older? Don't you think women want the same thigns out of life sometimes.

 

I really think you're blowing this out of proportion. If somebody is telling you all of that then by all means leave them so you can find somebody who appreciates you. Nobody is excluding either gender out of this question, why do you always assume a male poster is giving the male gender an upper hand through gender bias? You're pretty jaded when it comes to guys, why? What has happened to you that you can't accept the fact that there are decent guys out there?

[MeaganRaye]

I really think you're blowing this out of proportion. If somebody is telling you all of that then by all means leave them so you can find somebody who appreciates you. Nobody is excluding either gender out of this question, why do you always assume a male poster is giving the male gender an upper hand through gender bias? You're pretty jaded when it comes to guys, why? What has happened to you that you can't accept the fact that there are decent guys out there?

Please don't try to make the above poster out to be delusional. That is clearly the message that is being sent around here and in society in general, that as women age they are less attractive, less desirable and have less options when it comes to dating.

 

Sometimes by the time you reach 25, some guys think you're already disposable and start chasing after 16-20 year olds. It can happen long before you're 30. You ever see the guys in their mid 20s parked outside the high school scoping for teenagers?

 

You don't know how many times I've heard girls ages 23-26 brag about how they look like they are only 15-18 years old when they clearly look their age. Why the need to look younger when you're already 23?

[Jaytb]

Please don't try to make the above poster out to be delusional. That is clearly the message that is being sent around here and in society in general, that as women age they are less attractive, less desirable and have less options when it comes to dating.

 

That's the message sent out by minority of men. Not all guys are like this. Just like not all girls are money grabbing hoes who'll screw anyone with enough cash. Please stop trying to make it seem like all men are like this.

 

Sometimes by the time you reach 25, some guys think you're already disposable and start chasing after 16-20 year olds. It can happen long before you're 30. You ever see the guys in their mid 20s parked outside the high school scoping for teenagers?

The key word there is some guys. Probably a small minority. If those are the kind you're dating, then stop dating them. It's that simple. Get a "nice" guy over a "bad" boy.

[mr.dream merchant]

Please don't try to make the above poster out to be delusional. That is clearly the message that is being sent around here and in society in general, that as women age they are less attractive, less desirable and have less options when it comes to dating.

 

Sometimes by the time you reach 25, some guys think you're already disposable and start chasing after 16-20 year olds. It can happen long before you're 30

 

 

She's not delusional. It is delusional, however, to think that your youth is favored only if you're a woman and that only the male gender does it. Women favor younger guys to. People are attracted to younger folks because youth symbolizes health, well being, and life. Its just old time practice to group youth with those things, people have been doing it for years. Women are just as guilty for wanting the nice toned college boy over the 40 something mildly overweight man. It goes both ways. Instead of placing one gender under the gun place both of them, because they're both guilty of it, regardless of the numbers or whatever statistics you have to pull out and show me. It is apparent in both genders. Period. Nobody is going to sit here and shame people for wanting a younger partner because there's nothing wrong with that. And wanting a younger partner does not equal a blanket statement of "People above 30 are gross and decrepit". They just want to date younger people. Why do people need to justify or defend their preferences? Why must people shame and label them as "shallow" or "insensitive" because they prefer younger over older? Just cause some guys date younger makes women in their 30's unattractive? Please I love women who are mature. I'd still date younger, but women are just as sexy as any 20 year old when they're in their 30's to 40's, and in some cases, even to their 50's.

 

P.S - My GF is 22 and smoking. Her mom is in her 50's and smoking. If I were single, they'd both have an equal chance of getting the business.

[MeaganRaye]

She's not delusional. It is delusional, however, to think that your youth is favored only if you're a woman and that only the male gender does it. Women favor younger guys to. People are attracted to younger folks because youth symbolizes health, well being, and life. Its just old time practice to group youth with those things, people have been doing it for years. Women are just as guilty for wanting the nice toned college boy over the 40 something mildly overweight man. It goes both ways. Instead of placing one gender under the gun place both of them, because they're both guilty of it, regardless of the numbers or whatever statistics you have to pull out and show me. It is apparent in both genders. Period. Nobody is going to sit here and shame people for wanting a younger partner because there's nothing wrong with that. And wanting a younger partner does not equal a blanket statement of "People above 30 are gross and decrepit". They just want to date younger people. Why do people need to justify or defend their preferences? Why must people shame and label them as "shallow" or "insensitive" because they prefer younger over older? Just cause some guys date younger makes women in their 30's unattractive? Please I love women who are mature. I'd still date younger, but women are just as sexy as any 20 year old when they're in their 30's to 40's, and in some cases, even to their 50's.

 

P.S - My GF is 22 and smoking. Her mom is in her 50's and smoking. If I were single, they'd both have an equal chance of getting the business.

 

I do not think that it is common for women to desire a younger man being that males do not mature as quickly as women. I would never want to date an 18 year old, and if I go any younger than that it would be illegal for me.

 

I notice that most women tend to prefer men in their own age bracket, you have a few who like to call themselves cougars and chase after younger men but it's really not that common.

 

I never found myself more attracted to younger people, being that most people younger than me are immature, superifical and very shallow. there are a lot of adults who prefer to mate and hang around other adults so I disagree with people being more attracted to the youngins.

 

No one is trying to shame individuals for prefering a younger mate, it's just that the ones who prefer younger women often slam older women because they think they get less attractive as they age. yeah, I'm young now, but I know I won't be young forever and this scares me to think that soon I'll be thought of as bitter, less attractive and decript by the time I'm 30

[treyfan88]

She's not delusional. It is delusional, however, to think that your youth is favored only if you're a woman and that only the male gender does it. Women favor younger guys to. People are attracted to younger folks because youth symbolizes health, well being, and life. Its just old time practice to group youth with those things, people have been doing it for years. Women are just as guilty for wanting the nice toned college boy over the 40 something mildly overweight man. It goes both ways. Instead of placing one gender under the gun place both of them, because they're both guilty of it, regardless of the numbers or whatever statistics you have to pull out and show me. It is apparent in both genders. Period. Nobody is going to sit here and shame people for wanting a younger partner because there's nothing wrong with that. And wanting a younger partner does not equal a blanket statement of "People above 30 are gross and decrepit". They just want to date younger people. Why do people need to justify or defend their preferences? Why must people shame and label them as "shallow" or "insensitive" because they prefer younger over older? Just cause some guys date younger makes women in their 30's unattractive? Please I love women who are mature. I'd still date younger, but women are just as sexy as any 20 year old when they're in their 30's to 40's, and in some cases, even to their 50's.

 

P.S - My GF is 22 and smoking. Her mom is in her 50's and smoking. If I were single, they'd both have an equal chance of getting the business.

 

I'll have to agree. Especially with the bolded.

 

And I don't get why so many people on this board equate 30+ with being useless and unattractive? Look at the celebrities getting attention over the younger girls. Angelina Jolie. Jennifer Aniston. Eva Longoria. Demi Moore. No one is calling them ugly...far from it!

 

The answer is simple. If a man thinks that way about you...DON'T DATE HIM! GET AWAY FROM HIM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE! Don't let anybody tell you how much value you have...especially over something as STUPID as your age! C'mon! Find a man smart enough to see through that bull****! I don't understand what the problem is. And besides, not EVERY man thinks like that anyways!

[clv0116]

No one is trying to shame individuals for prefering a younger mate ...

 

Oh, I think you're wrong there. I'd believe you are not trying to shame anyone, but no one? Nah.

[Sibyl Vane]

They'll be 50 screwing a 30 year old. I doubt many would complain.

[clv0116]

They'll be 50 screwing a 30 year old. I doubt many would complain.

 

In my case more like 50 on 35, but ya, the point stands.