imemoi Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Okay, I really think its all about looks when girls say yes or no to guys. I have never had luck with girls and its gotta do with looks. A bit about me... 6 feet tall, 180lbs, work out 3-4x a week, take care of myself, dress very well, good hygiene, rarely smoke, drink moderately, no "drugs" essentially body wise, i think i look pretty good. however, my skin is bad (scars from having acne in high school), long nose, kinda big ears, receding hairline. all this makes me look 5 yrs older than i am. im a nice person. have a decent group of friends. most people who know me will say im one of the most caring, kind, genuine people they know. i am ambitious and driven. financially well off. i work in a pharmacy part time. i'm in 3rd yr of my pharmacy degree. will graduate and be working, by the time im 24. i have never had a gf! i'm shy and quiet at first but open up quickly. okay so what am i missing here? the only reason girls dont see me as a potential boyfriend is...? looks? shyness? what are u girls looking forr!??
Els Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Different girls want different things. If you are shy, though, even if the girl doesn't mind shyness, how would she even know you were into her? Girls seldom ask the guy out after all.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Well it's impossible to say. I've seen some gorgeous women with really ugly men, and i've seen (much less so but still seen) some really gorgeous men with really ugly women lol! I don't think there are any 'rules' in attraction. For me i'd say looks don't factor at all. If an attractive man talks to me but is not likeable in terms of personality, I go straight off him and see him as less physically attractive. If an average looking man has a great personality, he becomes more attractive. However personality can't literally transform anything. You just need the elusive click/connection.
Trialbyfire Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 One of my previous CEOs was a major, major chick magnet. Girls fell all over him. He worked out, was about your size and was financially secure, albeit first time as a CEO, so not what I would consider wealthy. He also had acne scarring but wasn't shy. He was intelligent, charming and funny. Bottom line, get some confidence by putting yourself out there. Don't be afraid of rejection because that's what appears to stop the vast majority of guys on LS from connecting.
LoXs Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I can 100% promise you its not about looks although looks will give you an advantage! Its about many things so any man can get any woman he wants even if he thinks they are "out of his league". Its about confidence, attitude, curiousity and being a challenge amongst other things. Any guy can have that right? Confidence (not arrogance) is the tricky one as its so easy to lose it and takes a lot to master it and part of that is to overcome the fear of rejection.
treyfan88 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 What everyone else said. Confidence. Not arrogance. Confidence.
Author imemoi Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 yeah you guys are probably right...confidence is the most important. but i think looks do play a major role as well. thats the first thing people notice. i mean, when u first approach a guy/girl, its all based on looks. the not so good looking people, don't get approached nearly as much. i just asked this girl i really like if she wants to go out and she turned me down. now, i was confident and all, but it didnt work. the only thing i was lacking in this situation was that shes gorgeous and im...well, kinda ugly.
era Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 i think looks do play a major role as well. thats the first thing people notice. i mean, when u first approach a guy/girl, its all based on looks. the not so good looking people, don't get approached nearly as much. That is a sad fact. So lets try to fix what you perceive to be physical flaws. Acne scars? long nose? big ears? pftt- all easily corrected with a few cosmetic procedures. How are your teeth? that's what I generally look at. You already sound pretty confident, so I'm just suggesting ways to improve the whole package, since you were asking. Please don't be offended
D-Lish Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 yeah you guys are probably right...confidence is the most important. but i think looks do play a major role as well. thats the first thing people notice. i mean, when u first approach a guy/girl, its all based on looks. the not so good looking people, don't get approached nearly as much. i just asked this girl i really like if she wants to go out and she turned me down. now, i was confident and all, but it didnt work. the only thing i was lacking in this situation was that shes gorgeous and im...well, kinda ugly. No you weren't, and you clearly aren't. Trust me- people know when you aren't confident. A confident person wouldn't even talk about a rejection (and may have had 10 in a row)... but will discuss the 11th one that said YES! It is about looks- but not in the way you think. It's more perception- how we see people. How you present yourself is key.
Schildt2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Yeah, it's all about self-esteem and confidence. You don't sound very convincing when you describe yourself. You really only give a general albeit somewhat positive description, it's not the highest standard. So what if you don't do drugs as if that's the best thing you can say about yourself? It's pleasurable to be with a girl and you're sabotaging yourself and ultimately convincing yourself you don't deserve a girl. Depending on how old you are you might need therapy. If you're young maybe enough introspection can change things around for you. I'm 33 and I'm just now figuring this stuff out myself. I don't have acne scars. I've even been told I could model but I've also had little success with women. Women have come on to me and I guarantee they've come on to you and you've just ignored it or convinced yourself that's not what they're doing. I don't care what you look like, women come on to men. You just got to learn to recognize it and want to recognize it. But I might just be projecting all of my problems on your situation but if any of this info helps, amen.
Author imemoi Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 That is a sad fact. So lets try to fix what you perceive to be physical flaws. Acne scars? long nose? big ears? pftt- all easily corrected with a few cosmetic procedures. How are your teeth? that's what I generally look at. You already sound pretty confident, so I'm just suggesting ways to improve the whole package, since you were asking. Please don't be offended yeah, i have thought about cosmetic procedures and maybe i'll get them down the road but i'd like to somehow change how i view myself. my friends do tell me sometimes that i have a really distorted view of myself and that i dont need plastic surgery or whatever..but its hard for me to believe them. and im not sure how well it would go over with people in my life (friends, family, classmates). i mean i know i would look better but then i wonder would i find something else wrong with me? i mean maybe its just a way of thinking...well thats what people seem to be sayng here. oh, my teeth are fine. sister is a dentist. =)
Author imemoi Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 Yeah, it's all about self-esteem and confidence. You don't sound very convincing when you describe yourself. You really only give a general albeit somewhat positive description, it's not the highest standard. So what if you don't do drugs as if that's the best thing you can say about yourself? It's pleasurable to be with a girl and you're sabotaging yourself and ultimately convincing yourself you don't deserve a girl. Depending on how old you are you might need therapy. If you're young maybe enough introspection can change things around for you. I'm 33 and I'm just now figuring this stuff out myself. I don't have acne scars. I've even been told I could model but I've also had little success with women. Women have come on to me and I guarantee they've come on to you and you've just ignored it or convinced yourself that's not what they're doing. I don't care what you look like, women come on to men. You just got to learn to recognize it and want to recognize it. But I might just be projecting all of my problems on your situation but if any of this info helps, amen. yeah, i know its a general description but i didnt want it to be too long. and didnt really know what else to include... im 21 right now. i have had a few girls hit on me...although rarely. maybe more, but i missed the signs? sometimes the circumstances werent right, other times i wasn't into them. i guess there have been around 5-6 girls i know of that were/are interested. maybe my standards are too high.. but i dont want to hook up with a girl im not really into. thx for the advice everyone.
CommitmentPhobe Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 It's mojo I don't even know what it is, but it's magnetic. It appears to come on when all the craps gone from my head and I'm about as relaxed as I can be about everything. That's when the women start smiling at me and are somehow drawn towards whatever it is. I love mojo, I have it at the moment, but I don't know what it is and if it could be bottled the person would become very rich. hope it stays.
CommitmentPhobe Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 im 21 right now. i have had a few girls hit on me...although rarely. You see what you did here? Mojo : Girls hit on me Mojo Killer : rarely Concentrate on the mojo and forget about the mojo killer
LostFocus Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I think I look like a average guy. I am not sure what it is either but like already stated. I have seen some great looking girls with ugly men. I am sure you will find a great girl once you graduate. School takes up a lot of you time you could use meeting other people.
RecordProducer Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Well, it seems like everything other than your face is more than attractive. Just grow some self-confidence, style, and charm. A positive, cheerful, free-spirited attitude can take you far, trust me. And don't chase the girls who look 10. What girls do you approach anyway?
Author imemoi Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 It's mojo I don't even know what it is, but it's magnetic. It appears to come on when all the craps gone from my head and I'm about as relaxed as I can be about everything. That's when the women start smiling at me and are somehow drawn towards whatever it is. I love mojo, I have it at the moment, but I don't know what it is and if it could be bottled the person would become very rich. hope it stays. Yeah, I think I know what you mean. I'm usually very tense, over think everything. But once I just relax and just have a good time, everything becomes easy. 2 weekends ago, I was soo chilled out. I got 2 numbers in about 1hour. Called one girl a few days later for a party but she already had plans. The other girl, I never called.
Author imemoi Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 Well, it seems like everything other than your face is more than attractive. Just grow some self-confidence, style, and charm. A positive, cheerful, free-spirited attitude can take you far, trust me. And don't chase the girls who look 10. What girls do you approach anyway? Yeah, I definitely need more confidence. I'm starting to realize that's probably the biggest thing I am missing. I know I usually approach the more attractive (well, imo) girls. I'm not hitting on models or something...although a few girls im friends with are models so the girls I usually meet happen to be quite attractive. Maybe 7-8 out of a 10pt scale? Maybe I need to lower my standards.
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