Does he mean no, and is just being nice, or does he mean maybe someday

[kassy]

About 3 months before we met he broke up from a really serious relationship. That was really crap for 8 months before they broke up, they are still on ok terms, but I thought it was a bit fast once I found that out. So we met had a short, but very intense relationship. It was too intense fo me and I freaked out, and basically ran away (broke up with him). I realized that was stupid a bit later and that I wanted him back, and we were chatting every day etc. (we have talked ever day since we met except when he was away and his phone didn't work for 4 days).

 

ok so I was supposed to meet up for a drink this week but both out work got too crazy and I'm going away on friday. So we ended up chatting on the phone two days ago, he knows me well enough to know something was on my mind, but we had a fun conversation I said I was ok and we agreed to go for a drink. He called me the next morning and asked if I was pregnant. I said no, we had a laugh and a chat about that but he had a job interview so to to to in an hour so not a good time to ask him if we could try dating again.

 

So I ended up emailing him and asking if we could try again but take it really slow and see how it goes (which he suggested when we broke up). The relevant part of his reply was "To be honest I don't think I want to be seeing anybody right now... you said to me when we first starting seeing each other that maybe I should have some alone time and I think you're right. I really appreciate you as a friend and I really enjoy your company so I hope we can still remain friends?

 

With regards to the pregnant thing, sorry about that, I'm just so stressed and tired at the moment and when I'm like this I event even more things in my head to worry about. Normally I'm pretty cool and laid back but every now and again I blow and it looks like I'm going to do it this week! "

 

So... is this a guys way of saying I'm just not really interested in you ever and I'm a really nice guy and don't want to be a b@stard. Or is he saying the timing is crap he needs some time alone but maybe at some other point he might be interested again (but no promises). Basically do I have a shot with this guy later on at some point?

 

 

Thanks if you read all of this if you go this far

[Truly Lost]

Ugh, it sounds like he is stringing you along. You asked about dating and he kindly declined. I wouldn't stick around idly by waiting for him to decide. If you want to be put in the friend zone then thats on you. If I wanted to be more than friends with someone and was told "no", then I wouldn't stick around. Its rejection. Yuck!

 

Sometimes your absence will help the other person realize what they lost, but it's not an exact science.

[kassy]

Thanks, I think you're right and he's stringing me along, but I don't think he means to. Either way it amounts to the same thing to me right.

 

I really want to be friends with him as we get on amazingly well... but whether or not I can do that remains to be seen, if I think maybe oneday... ya know . I am going away for 10 days at the weekend so at least I'll get some proper time out.

 

We have a mutual group of friends (how we met) and have a number of events to go to next month which I've already paid for and want to do... not sure how to still go if we aren't at least on speaking terms.

 

Far out I wish he'd just said he's not interested and thinks it was all a mistake and I could have just cryed my eyes out and that would be the end of that.

[Lippy2]

I feel for you. I am in a similar situation and I too wish I had just been told he wasn't interested and didn't want to be with me. It's tough I know. You have to do what's right for you.

[kassy]

I guess I'll work out what's right at some point. I can't believe I'm more gutted about this than when me and my boyfriend of 3 years broke up and we lived together for two. I've just never experienced the sort of connection we had. I guess it was only the honeymoon phase though.

 

Far out I am a mess. It is just so rediculous.

 

I guess the best thing is that I'm going skiing for 10 days, mountain air, exercise, good food and time with my family is probably going to help a lot. I bloody well hope so at least.